A Tad Behind The Times

I start all of my adult advanced English classes the same way. Every time class starts, we have a fifteen to thirty minute discussion on a pre-assigned topic.

At the the beginning of the semester I have all the students write on a piece of paper a topic they'd like to talk about. We then draw a topic at the end of class to discuss for the next class. I figure this keeps them interested and allows them to think about school on their off days rather than assigning homework, which the adults never do anyways.

So the topic in one of my classes the other day was "My Ideal Lover." First off, don't get too excited. The students didn't want to talk about flexible women, or well-endowed men. The topic is "lost in translation." What it really means is, "my ideal boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife." Yeah, much more boring.

I called on the first student, an 18 year old, and asked, "What is your ideal girlfriend like?" He immediately replied, "My ideal girlfriend is very beautiful and must be good at housework." Nobody batted an eye in the class, not even the four girls who were present. I said, "Really? That's it?" The kid nodded his head as if to say, "Obviously, idiot." I called on another guy and got nearly the same answer, "My ideal girlfriend must be beautiful and cook and clean well." The third guy I called on said something pretty hilarious: "I was married six months ago and she is not my ideal lover." "You mean your wife is your ideal lover, right?" I asked. "No. She is not. I don't know what my ideal lover is like." I wonder if he said that when he proposed.

I wrote a long time ago how Huyen told me right when we started dating that she, "didn't want to be a slave to her husband." Hearing first hand the attitudes on sexual equality made Huyen's point a lot clearer to me. It also made something else clearer to me, Huyen problem likes me because no Vietnamese men would want her! I'm her last resort!

I don't like to impose my political/social views on my classes but the discussion was still bothering me during my next class that night. It was time to assign a topic and I said, "I'm going to choose the topic for next week. The topic is When Will A Woman Be The President of Vietnam?" Immediately a boy said, "Never." I was about to say something when one of the girls proudly said, "I'm gonna be the President of Vietnam." There is hope. We'll find out exactly how much tomorrow when my class talks about the topic.

My Favorite Sign In Singapore

Yes, this is a lazy blog entry. However, this sign caught my attention in Singapore:

I was extremely surprised when I sat down to eat in the restaurant and found out that they only served chicken.

Durian Fruit

If you were blind and wanted to be able to tell the difference between an Asian person and a Foreigner, you could easily figure it out by doing what I call "The Dorian Test." Durian is a gigantic fruit that nearly every Asian person I've met loves. Here are the facts I know about Durian:

Fact 1: They smell. They smell really really bad. They're literally a stink bomb wrapped in a spiky shell.

Fact 2: X amount of people die every year by being plunked on the head by Durians. As someone told me in Cambodia, "Don't lay under a Durian tree at night." Apparently the flower opens at night and that's when they drop.

Fact 3: Durian's are called, "The King of Fruits." Apparently in the fruit kingdon royalty must smell like doodie.

Fact 4: Huyen loves Durian. She literally goes, "Oooooohhhh" whenever we pass a stand selling the fruit. Her "ooooohhhhhh" is simultaneously greeted by my "uhhhhhhhhhh" noise. She once bought a bunch of ice pops for my freezer. I opened one up and put it in my mouth and nearly gagged -- it was a frozen durian pop. I asked her why she bought me Durian and she yelled, "Those were for me! You ate my durian!"

Fact 5: Durians aren't allowed on the subway in Singapore:

Construction

I'm an early riser...and apparently so are Vietnamese construction crews. Since last week a demolition crew has been drilling/smashing/doing-other-exceedingly-loud-things literally feet from my head at 7AM every morning. The noise level is ridiculous. I've resorted to wearing ear plugs and blasting my music but still find myself with a migraine around 7:45AM every day.

The good news is the construction gives me a reason to leave my house everyday. I've been walking around my new neighbor exploring the streets and reading in a local park. The bad news is that I'm going to keep having to explore my neighborhood for another month. The construction has just started.

I knew this house was too good to be true (minus the dolls in attic).

Me vs. Lilah

(PICTURES: Lilah's Press vs. My Press)


I recently taught Lilah a very important life lesson -- you can't upstage me. Lilah had her birth announced in the West Essex Tribune last week (that's the Livingston, NJ town paper) and well, someone else had an announcement too--me.

I don't want to gloat, but only one of us got our picture in the paper. Nice try, Lilah, but you gotta wake up prettttttttttyyyyy early to one-up your Uncle Ben.

P.S. I've already got a huge announcement planned for the the day you say your first word.

Huyen's Name

-This post is quite overdue. I've had a couple of emails asking me exactly how you say Huyen's name. Well, who better to tell you than Huyen herself:

6 Months!

(PICTURE: One of my favorite classes and me...)

My Visa expired this week which means one thing -- I've now been in Vietnam for over six months. Lets take a look back at the top five highs and lows:

Top Five Highs:
1. Meeting Huyen. Every day I spend with her is another adventure. Some adventures are big (like taking road trips to the mountains) and some adventures are small (like trying to explain to her that I'm allergic to shellfish and constantly finding her ordering/cooking it for me).
2. Traveling around this amazing country. I've been to the Mekong Delta, Ho Chi Minh City, Mui Ne, Da Lat, Nha Trang, Hoi An, Da Nang, Hue, Halong Bay, Hanoi and a bunch of small places in the country...
3. Living somewhere completely out of my comfort zone. Every time I step out the front door I'm reminded that I've never been anywhere like where I am now.
4. Never being at a loss to find amazing food. I'm about to jinx myself, but I've also only taken two Immodium ADs in 6 months. Yeah, the food here agrees with my system roughly 20X's better (or 78 less Immodium ADs better per six months) than the food in America.
5. Being roughly a foot and a half taller than everyone I meet. I like to think I'm inspiring some future writers to write a new version of Gulliver's Travels.

Top Five Lows:
1. Being away from my family and friends for so long and especially missing the birth of my niece.
2. Being robbed by Ninjas in my sleep.
3. Being evicted and having ten days to move because my girlfriend slept over.
4. Having to work Sundays as of two weeks ago. I hate working on Sunday!
5. Not being able to jump on my bicycle and ride to the beach in two minutes like I have the last couple years in Santa Monica.

Overall it's been a pretty amazing six months and I have no doubt the times ahead of me will only get better and better...

Thanks to everyone for reading the blog these past six months. The blog truly started as something to keep my mom from daily panic attacks and has grown into an international phenomenon. Okay, maybe it's not quite that big but it's really nice to know so many people are taking an interest in my life...so thanks!