Durian Fruit

If you were blind and wanted to be able to tell the difference between an Asian person and a Foreigner, you could easily figure it out by doing what I call "The Dorian Test." Durian is a gigantic fruit that nearly every Asian person I've met loves. Here are the facts I know about Durian:

Fact 1: They smell. They smell really really bad. They're literally a stink bomb wrapped in a spiky shell.

Fact 2: X amount of people die every year by being plunked on the head by Durians. As someone told me in Cambodia, "Don't lay under a Durian tree at night." Apparently the flower opens at night and that's when they drop.

Fact 3: Durian's are called, "The King of Fruits." Apparently in the fruit kingdon royalty must smell like doodie.

Fact 4: Huyen loves Durian. She literally goes, "Oooooohhhh" whenever we pass a stand selling the fruit. Her "ooooohhhhhh" is simultaneously greeted by my "uhhhhhhhhhh" noise. She once bought a bunch of ice pops for my freezer. I opened one up and put it in my mouth and nearly gagged -- it was a frozen durian pop. I asked her why she bought me Durian and she yelled, "Those were for me! You ate my durian!"

Fact 5: Durians aren't allowed on the subway in Singapore: