Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Would You Like Some Breast With That Chicken?

(PICTURE: Chicken and breasts.)

While waiting for Au and Hieu one night for dinner, Huyen and I parked on a small side street. We were already hungry but soon become starving because of the delicious BBQ smells blowing our way from a grill on the corner. The grill appeared to be connected to a small restaurant which Huyen and I decided we'd go back to the next night.

(PICTURE: Those two girls are about 2% of the waitresses wearing low cut shirts.)

The next night we rode up to the restaurant only to discover that it wasn't quite the small BBQ place that we had thought it was. In fact, it turned out to be the Vietnamese version of Hooters. As soon as we walked into the place it because obvious that there were no female customers. Equally obvious was that there were no male waiters; all the waiters were very good looking girls with quiet large/enhanced breasts.

Before sitting down, I went to use the toilet. After going to the bathroom I was shocked to see a bathroom attendant who proceeded to turn on the faucet for me, put soap in my hands and then towel them off. For this service I was obliged to tip him 5,000 VND. If there's one thing you should know about me it's that this goes against nearly everything I stand for. I HATE BATHROOM ATTENDANTS. There I said it. I f-ing hate some guy getting up in my business in the place that I do my business. As soon as I walked out I was shown to my table. Huyen had gone to the bathroom too which gave me a moment to access the situation. It also gave a whole bunch of girls a moment to come up to me and try and get me to buy a lot of overly priced imported beer; I said no to the Fosters.

When Huyen came back from the bathroom I asked her if she wanted to stay because I wanted to leave. However, Huyen thought the place was fine and that we should give it a shot. Here's a couple of memories I'll take away from night:

1. The cooks came out and killed a HUGE snake right next to our table.
2. Once the girls realized they shouldn't shove their boobs in my face, we basically got about 1/1000th of the service that every other table had.
3. The chicken was just decent...but was about five times the price of any chicken I've had in Vietnam.
4. Upon leaving, the motorbike parking lot attendant wouldn't get off my bike until I gave him a tip. This was only the second time I've ever had to tip a motorbike guy in Vietnam.

Overall, it was the worst and most expensive meal we had during our stay in HCMC. That said, it's also the only meal we look back on and laugh about.