Friday, April 4, 2008

Porno Peddler To Parenthood

(PICTURE: My Niece!....Bier, stop staring at her chest!)
It's official, Zev and Kathy are having a GIRL!!!! I had a feeling they were going to have a girl and I couldn't be happier because this means I can hang on to my Jets ticket for a few more years. I know Dad is dying to give his first grandson one of our four cherished season tickets and since I'm the "son who abandoned" him it would most likely be my ticket in the enveloped at the kid's Bar Mitzvah.
I also have to say it is fitting Zev is going to have a daughter since he was the person who introduced me to Playboy. Oh sweet sweet karma. Zev told me on the phone last night that he's already filing papers to own a shotgun.
I plead with Zev again last night that he should have the kid in 'Nam. Dual citizenship would be awesome and could really help the baby get a college scholarship one day. Furthermore, you can't buy property here unless you're a citizen. Real estate is doubling every year all over Vietnam so we could buy up property through my little niece. It's a genius, flawless plan.
Gotta finish my lesson plan... Congrats to Zev and Kathy!