Sunday, June 21, 2009

Kari and Brad's Wedding

First off, Happy Father's Day. Later this week I will have a belated Father's day blog about my dad. However, today I need to blog about Kari and Brad's wedding. Man, what a wedding! Even though the weather was crummy, the only other thing that would have made the wedding better was if Huyen was there. I can't wait till she can eventually come to an American wedding. When I got home last night Huyen asked me on skype video to see pictures. Well, here's 100...


video

My friend Jeremy and I were co-best men at the wedding. We gave a speech on Friday at the rehearsal dinner that was sort of a roast. Last night we gave a more heartfelt toast. Here's the transcript from the toast:


BEN: For those of you, who don’t know us, I’m Ben and this is Jeremy, and we’re life long friends of Bradley…who coincidentally I’ve never actually called Bradley until this very moment.

But before we start making fun of Brad we’d like to take a moment to congratulate Walter and Susan. Walter and Susan have always been like a second set of parents to me and Jeremy.

JER:
Walter, along with my Dad, was the coach of Livingston Lightning, our traveling soccer team from grades 3-12. He also used to take us to baseball card conventions on the weekends and taught us the art of haggling over twenty five cent trading cards. Walter is also responsible for first introducing us to the world of cologne. In fact, I’ve never actually had to buy a bottle of cologne myself because Walter would wear enough for both of us…forever.

BEN:
And Susan has always been, well, Susan. She’s a legend among our parents. My dad actually wrote a five page speech about Susan that he wanted me to read tonight but I had to say no. One thing I can tell you about Susan is that around college she started to ask Jeremy and I, “Don’t you have a nice Jewish girl for your friend Bradley.” And now ironically Brad’s getting married before both of us to a girl who Susan loves because, well, she’s just like Susan. She’s short. She’s Jewish and she loves to clean. So, our congratulations to Susan and Walter isn’t actually because Brad is getting married but rather because Susan and Walter can now keep that $1,000 finders fee they offered us if we set Brad up with his wife. So Congratulations.

BOTH:
We love you Walter and Susan.

JER: Susan, this now concludes your portion of the speech, so you can now sit back, relax and enjoy the wedding. You see, we promised Susan and many others that we would behave up here tonight, so in honor of Brad and Kari, we will keep this short!

BEN: Knowing Brad as long as we have, we’d like to take this opportunity to tell you a little bit about him, some things you may already know, and some you may not. What you DO know, is that Brad is brilliant. He went to college at Penn and then outdid himself by getting a perfect score on his LSAT and going to Harvard Law. And as we all know now, Brad’s a rising star at Proskauer Rose.

JER:
But what you DON’T know is that Brad learned everything from us! (BOTH: Yeah, that’s not true.) On a personal note, I realized Brad’s intelligence at a very young age. I can remember at around 7 years old, playing original baseball on Nintendo with him in my scary basement. While I was naming all of MY players, Ernie, Bert and Cookie Monster, Brad was methodically calculating slugging percentage and ERA’s for his. We’re now thirty and I still have no idea know what a slugging percentage is.

BEN:
What you also don’t know is that in elementary school, Brad was placed into an elite academic group called GTE, or Gifted and Talented Enriched which at the age of 10 was studying quantum physics and I kid you not, contacting paranormal beings with wire hangers. On a side note, I was rejected every year from GTE which was shocking, not because I was smart, but because my father was on the Board of Education. The point is, Brad has always been the smartest person I’ve ever known… Although asking us to give a speech in front of his new relatives probably wasn’t that smart.

JER:
As intelligent as Brad is, he is even more superstitious. I can not tell you the number of Giants games that I’ve “watched” with Brad, only to have him face the opposite direction of the TV because he thinks it will bring the G-men luck. I actually remember going to his house one time to watch a Ranger game, and he ended up spending the entire 3rd period in the bathroom, because every time he had to go pee, Mark Messier would score a goal.

BEN:
In fact, Brad is so superstitious that Kari isn’t the only person wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Brad is actually wearing his BLUE Vanbiesbrouck jersey underneath his tux, he’s wearing a NEW tie and he’s wearing the same OLD underwear he had on when the Rangers won the Stanley Cup in 1994 which not surprisingly still fits him. Oh, and he BORROWED Kari’s black high heels.

JER:
Anyway, Brad was not just the smart and superstitious kid growing up, but he was also a terrific athlete. What you DO know is that he was a star high school soccer and hockey player.

BEN:
But what you DON’T know is that he also dominated other sports as well. He is a master of the doggy paddle, and by age 18, was finally able to dunk his head underwater. And in middle school, Brad went undefeated in his wrestling career – although this was due to the fact that he was the only teenager in the under 60 pound weight class.

JER:
And in golf, he won the elite award for best temper tantrum displayed on a public golf course, after throwing his putter 50 feet into a lake and crying hysterically because of an unfortunate 3-putt. By the way, this happened just the other day when he was playing a round with the rabbi.

BEN:
Brad’s nerdiness and sports ability comes from one thing: Brad is the most competitive person you will ever meet. In fact, here’s something else you probably don’t know. Brad was offered a full scholarship to every law school he applied to except Harvard. However, Brad chose to pay to go to Harvard because he wanted the best.

JER:
Brad’s competitive nature has made him want to be the best at everything that he does, and I know Ben and I agree Brad is the best friend anyone could ever have.

BEN:
And Kari is the best girl in the world for him.

JER:
Kari, you know that we think the world of you. You’re beautiful, thoughtful and sweet. But as great as we know you are, you are also very lucky to have found Brad.

BEN:
Brad is the most genuine and loyal guy we know. There’s nobody I would rather have in my corner if times are tough than Brad. And you’ve now got him in your corner for life.

JER:
And although Brad might be vertically challenged, his heart is taller than anyone’s.
Kari and Brad, we love you guys very much. So, if everyone would please raise your glasses.

JER:
To Kari…

BEN:
…and Brad…

BOTH:
…and the very very very VERY short children they’re going to have. Le’Chaim