Saturday, August 30, 2008

Vietnamese Science

(PICTURE: Dr. Huyen giving a lecture on science)

There should be a television show hosted by Bill Cosby called, "The Vietnamese Say The Darndest Things." A day doesn't go by that a Vietnamese person doesn't make a claim that is, well, not exactly based on science and facts.

One of the many benefits of dating a local is I'm privy to some serious information -- that's seriously hilarious information. About a month ago Huyen said something absurd to me: "Oh, do not eat so many bean sprouts." At the time I was putting bean sprouts into my bun cha. I naturally asked why I shouldn't eat bean sprouts and Huyen informed me that, "Bean sprouts are bad for men."
"They're just bad for men," I asked.
"Yes, they are bad for your [points at my mid section]."
"Is that based on science?" She just told me it was.
I then said, "You know America has been to space? I'll take my American science over your Vietnamese folk lore." This is when Huyen told me that a Vietnamese man had been to space too (he traveled with the Russians). I countered with, "Well, we've been on the moon!"

Anyway, since that day whenever Huyen makes a strange remark and I give her a look she immediately says, "It's science."

Some scientific things I learned recently:

Dr. Huyen: "You have white hairs because of your blood. It's science."

Dr. Huyen: "Eating salt is the best way for women to have boys. It's science."

Dr. Huyen: "Married couples must have a lot of sex to get rid of bad genes. It's science."

Dr. Huyen: "Drinking this (a strange white powder she brought over made from some fruit) will get rid of your pimples. It's science."

Dr. Huyen: "If your breath smells like garlic breath against a wall and it will smell better. Girls must do this 5 times, boys 7 times."

The truth is I was never good at science. But come on!