Saturday, December 4, 2010

Spit or Swallow

Everyone's done it. Sometimes when you're driving, you hock-up a big loogie and you don't have a cup or a tissue to spit it into. Instead you roll down your window, spit it out and inevitably watch it splat on a back window of your car. Sure it's disgusting but it's equally as disgusting to swallow it.

I don't mind someone spitting out their window when the only thing they're likely to hit is their own car or, worse case scenario, the car behind them. Okay, okay, occasional it'll spray the person in the backseat if their window is down too. However, it's not that common. Anyway, I do have a BIG PROBLEM with someone on a motorbike spitting since they're most likely going to hit the person driving behind them...which is exactly what happened to me today. Some douche bag sped up in front of me today, hocked a loogie, and spit it towards the grass barrier in the middle of the road we were on. However, a significant spray headed my way and landed right on my bare knuckles. Yes, vile.

You know how every week it seems like an NFL player spits on another NFL player and the victim claims it is the worse thing in the world. Well, it is the worst thing in the world. Being spit on awakens some animal force inside of people. As soon as my knuckles got rained on, I felt this incredible urge to kick the guy's ass who had just sprayed me. For about five seconds I started to speed up my bike with the genius plan of passing him and spitting in the air...however, I quickly heard my mother's voice inside my head: "Two wrongs don't make a right." Why does my mom always have to be right?!