Motoring

As all of you know, I love my motorbike. Few things give me more joy in Hanoi than cruising the streets here. Over the last week a few interesting things have happened while I was motoring:

1. A man nearly masturbated on to my arm. Yes, you read that right. I was driving close the sidewalk and saw a crazy man with his pants around his ankles pleasuring himself. There was a motorbike directly to my left so I couldn't back away from the curve. Luckily the timing was in my favor and he didn't finish on me as a I drove by...

2. My timing wasn't so great yesterday however. One thing you will notice if you come to Hanoi is that people throw their garbage into the street. They literally just toss it curbside where it is cleaned up during the night. It's actually amazing how well of a job the street cleaning crews do considering the roads are lined with trash by sunset. Well, yesterday I was riding down a pretty major street when WAM I was nailed by someone's garbage. The person had heaved it in the street a little to hard and it smack me in the side while going about 20KM an hour. I gave the woman a look and she just kind of shrugged and walked away.

3. While driving in the Old Quarter the other day I was directly behind an accident. A delivery motorbike collided with this Metro Purple-Pants Wearing Guy. The two bikes got wedged together and they fell over. Both guys were stuck under their bikes as their motors revved. Well, I did what I've seen everyone do in the few accidents I've witnessed. I stopped my bike in the middle of the road and ran over to the accident. I then lifted up the top bike and helped free the Metro Purple-Pants Wearing Guy underneath. While doing this the weight was enough for the Delivery Guy to get out himself. The Metro Purple-Pants wearing guy thanked me in Vietnamese and then promptly turned to the Delivery Guy and SMACKED him in the head. The Metro Purple-Pants Wearing Guy then got back on to his bike and drove away. Yeah, you can call me a hero if you want.

The point is, if you come to visit and borrow my spare helmet to ride on my bike, expect the unexpected.