Mr. Han in the house!!!!

At 9:36 and 57 seconds I received the greatest text message ever: "Ben! U r on tv!!" The message was from my student Kieu Anh who was watching VTV3. Seconds later I was screaming at Su and Huyen to change the channel on the TV. I then quickly grabbed my camera and recorded my totally amazing Vietnam acting debut. Before you watch it, keep in mind:

1. I meant for my tie to be crooked. I'm a method actor and my character was stressed.
2. I meant for my hair to look mullet-ish.
3. I meant for my voice to sound like an Iraqi man. Oh, wait, that is an Iraqi man doing my voice over.
4. I meant for the director to constantly cut away from me while I was talking.
5. I meant for my buddy Nicky to totally out-act me. I mean, he left Vietnam this week so it was the least I could do.
6. I meant to be left out of the credits. I mean, you put yourself out there like that and you're liable to get obsessed fans.

After watching the video -- I'm on at 3:30 -- I'm sure everyone will agree that I just bought myself a one-way ticket back to Hollywood!!!!!

What Military Branch Is This?

(PICTURE: Overalls? I took this picture while watching the parade on TV.)

On the morning of the 1,000th anniversary of Hanoi, there was a huge parade through Hanoi. Marching in the parade were many different branches of the military and police. There was the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the Border Guards, the Traffic Police, the super scary police who only come out at night and that I wrote a blog about last year, and even the Ethnic Army (women from every ethnic tribe in Vietnam wearing their traditional outfits while marching with machine guns). However, the most bizarre army group for me were the guys pictured above who were marching in overalls. Huyen and her uncle (who happens to be in the Army) tried explaining to me who these guys were. Her uncle said that we don't have this branch of the army in America but from the description they were giving, it sounded sort of like the national guard or state troopers.

I'm no fashion expert but these uniforms:
a) Are not intimidating at all.
B) Are not camouflaged at all.
C) Make me wonder why a farmer is carrying a gun and not, why a solider is dressed like a farmer.

What's that on the side of the road?

(PICTURE: Cassava drying on the side of the road.)

During my famous Tet Road Bike Trip of '09, Long, Nicky and I came upon a street lined with a white chips. We tried to ask the farmers what they were laying on the road and they kept repeating "sun". Long, our translator, wasn't sure what "sun" was so I think we all just assumed he meant "The Sun" (as in "The Sun" is drying the chips). Chalking the moment up to a mutual lack of language skills, we just shrugged our shoulders and kept on riding.

A couple of weeks ago, while Huyen and I rode to the water park/hot springs in Hue, we found ourselves driving between two rows of white chips. Huyen explained to me that the chips were "sun for pigs." I asked her what sun was and she told me it was cassava. I must admit that although it was nice to know what the food was, it was nicer knowing that it wasn't for humans to eat. There's just something about food drying out on a highway that isn't appealing to me.

The Student Becomes The Master

I cracked. I broke down. I had a moment of weakness. Call it an out-of-body experience. Call it cold feet. Call it whatever you want. The fact is, I'm ashamed of myself ---- I littered.

Here was the situation: Huyen and I were on the street, outside of the most famous ice cream shop in Hanoi. The street was packed with people eating ice cream on a stick. I had just finished my bar and began to look around for a garbage. I didn't see one. But I did see in the corner of my eye, dozens of ice cream sticks at my feet. The ground was covered with them. All of a sudden I found myself throwing my stick on the ground. I watched the stick fall in seemingly slow motion to join its' comrades on the pavement. After the stick settled by my feet I looked up to see Huyen staring at me with a look of utter disbelief. She then said to me, "I can't believe you just did that?" I think I then said, "I don't know why I did that." Huyen then shook her head at me and said, "I'm really disappointed in you." Yeah, those words hurt. They hurt a lot. But as disappointed as she was in me, I was feeling even more disappointment in myself. I then looked at Huyen and said, "I'm gonna pick it up." I then reached down and picked up my ice cream stick and placed it in the plastic bag the ice cream had come in.

It's amazing to me, Huyen has truly become the master of anti-littering. When I first met her, she was prone to throwing garbage on the ground like the majority of her fellow countrymen. However, after a lecture or two from her Sierra Club boyfriend (that's me), Huyen never threw garbage on the ground again.

I'd like to publicly thank Huyen for correcting my moment of weakness/stupidity. I'd now like to declare that I'll never litter again.

Not All Cats Go To The Market

The day after I wrote yesterday's blog, I went to one of my favorite cafes and saw the biggest cat I've ever seen in my life. This cat had to weight at least 35 pounds:


Because I hate cats, I kept my distance from this small tiger. However, I couldn't help but to marvel at its sheer size. Not surprisingly, the cafe we were at has had more than its fair share of rodents in the past. On this occasion, I didn't see one mouse or rat. I'm assuming this cat has been helping to quell that problem.

Meoooooooooooow!

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(PICTURE: The bicyclist from cat hell.)

Ever since I had to cat-sit in Middle School for my best friend Brad's cat while his family was on vacation during Christmas Break, I have hated cats. Frankly, I just don't understand why people like cats. I mean, they shit in boxes, don't like to leave the house, and they eat rodents. Compared to a dog...well, there just isn't a comparison.

As I was driving my motorbike the other day, I was suddenly startled when I heard a cacophony of meows ahead of me. The sound of a cat is just not a sound I like to hear. But equally, it is not a sound I'm used to hearing while driving a motorbike. As much as I try to avoid ever making eye contact with cats (they can steal your soul that way), I couldn't resist looking ahead at the source of the meows. Well, straight ahead of me was a guy on a bicycle with a cage full of skinny cats. As much as I despise cats, I still felt a pang of sorrow knowing that these felines were not going to be pets:

Nicky Has Left The Building...

(PICTURE: Nicky and me on our epic Tet '09 Road Trip.)

It's a sad day for all of Hanoi -- Nicky has left the country.

Last night, Nicky called Huyen and me from Lao Cai, near Sapa. After over two and a half years in Vietnam, Nicky was about to begin a long journey home. This morning he was gonna catch a train and begin his trip on the Trans-Siberian Railway going through China, Mongolia and Russia. After Russia, he'll be training it all the way west, back to his home in England. It should be an epic trip.

It's hard to imagine Hanoi without Nicky. I literally met Nicky on my first night in Hanoi and have been friends with him since. The two of us have worked at the same school, played on the same ultimate frisbee team, been detained together overnight on our '09 Tet bike trip with our friend Long, vacationed on a beautiful island together in Malaysia and most recently were co-stars together in a Vietnamese drama. No, Hanoi definitely won't be the same without Nicky.

Anyone who has been fortunate enough to meet Nicky knows that he's truly one of a kind. The guy is without a doubt one of the most kind-hearted people I have ever known. Few people I have ever met express as much enthusiasm over everything as Nicky does. The guy is always willing to give someone a hand, flash them a smile or jump on a motorbike beside them and venture off to wherever the wind may blow. Yeah, Hanoi definitely won't be the same without Nicky.

I find that I'm often touting how great people are on my blog. I must say, I've been really lucky to have made some amazing friends out here. Sadly though, with Nicky leaving, all of my original group of friends have now departed Vietnam. I sort of feel like a 5th year senior whose had to watch all his buddies graduate and go out into the real world. It's a sad day having Nicky leave Vietnam but I look forward to seeing him in the future. Heck, the guy's already called shotgun on Huyen's and my couch in New York City in 2013 -- the year he plans on touring the states.

Good luck, Nicky. Travel safe, buddy!


(PICTURE: Good times with Nicky were not hard to find.)