Getting Picked Up...

As a guy, we all have day dreams of being out on a typical day and having a beautiful woman come up to us and say, "Hi, do you want to get coffee?" Unfortunately for most of us, this never ever happens. Frankly it's one of the most disappointing things about life. I can't tell you how many times I've sat in a cafe or restaurant or wherever, hoping a girl in a booth/in a line/reading a book would make the first move...but alas, it never happened...until now.

Yesterday I was sitting on a sidewalk stool, eating sticky rice, like I do almost every morning. I was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, ready to go to the gym after devouring my breakfast. Well, out of nowhere I heard someone ask me, "Excuse me, do you speak English?" I looked over and saw a giant friendly smile. I said that indeed I spoke English. Well, my friendly breakfast neighbor must have liked my looks because right after that I was invited for coffee. Yeah, I was totally picked up.

This is exactly how I always pictured this happening except for one small-ish detail -- I was going to coffee with a dude.

I chalk this up in the column of things that would never happen in America. Can you picture a guy in a suit (married with kids) asking another guy -- who is clearly on the way to the gym -- to coffee?

If I Had 5000 Dong...

...for every time a random person asked me an English question, I'd be a rich man. Well, at least I'd be able to eat a lot of breakfasts in Vietnam.

Here's a typical situation: As I was leaving the gym today, a girl at the front desk showed me a piece of paper that said, "Enternal Frame." She looked at me and said, "Is this correct?" I pondered the piece of paper for a couple of seconds, looked at her quizzically and said, "Do you mean the song?" She nodded at me and smiled. I told her she was close but that it was spelled "Eternal Flame."

This is a good example of how my interpretation skills have developed over the last couple of years. I'm pretty sure if the same situation happened in 2008 I would have had no idea what the girl was talking about. There were no context clues, no music playing, nothing. Frankly, I'm turning into an English genius.

Happ Birthday Viet Huong!

Huyen's nephew Viet Huong recently turned 4-years-old. I remember when I was driving this kid around on my motorbike when he was still 2:



It was fun to celebrate Viet Huong's birthday but it definitely made me miss home a lot. That pit in my stomach that I felt was the guilt of having missed Lilah's first and most likely second birthday parties...

I love the smell of shit in the morning....

...and in the evening.

Actually, I don't love it at all but unfortunately our apartment smells like shit every morning, evening, or basically anytime we don't flush our toilet for a few hours. There's something wrong with the plumbing in our building which has had two not-so-positive results:

Not-So-Positive Result #1: Whenever the people upstairs flush their toilet, our toilet rumbles and all the water is sucked out from the bowl. This makes going #2 really exciting because, if the timing is right, it sounds like a giant vacuum is about to suck out your internal organs.

Not-So-Positive Result #2: When the people flush their toilet upstairs and we don't immediately flush ours, the apartment starts to get a disgusting sewage smell. Basicallye very time we walk into our apartment we have to light three matches before we can breath.

That's the bad news. The good news is that our rent was due last week and we haven't paid the landlord a dime because we told him we're not paying until the problem is fixed...which he agreed to. Hey, call me a cheapskate but I can live with a few minutes of a bad smell every day if it means I get to live for free!

Someone is trying to kill me...

...and his name is the bicycle repair guy.

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is trying to kill you? Yeah, probably not. I hadn't either until the other day. Here's the story:

I got a flat tire on my bike and needed it changed. I walked around the neighborhood until I found a very talkative bike repair guy who had set up shop on a street corner. I showed him my tire and he got right on replacing it. He talked to me while repairing my bike and was quickly clued into the fact that I can't speak Vietnamese. However, I continued to listen until I recognized a question: Where are you from?

I told the man in Vietnamese that I was from America and then he continued to chirp away. All was good until he told me my bike was fixed. I paid the guy, jumped on my bike and headed into traffic...when I quickly realized that I HAD NO BRAKES!!!!!*

I managed to come to a stop and immediately went back to the repairman. I showed him the brakes weren't working and he quickly began to "fix" them. Once they were "done" he gave me a thumbs up and pointed the bike back towards the road. Once again I got on the bike and pedaled into traffic...until I realized I STILL HAD NO BRAKES!!!!

Again, I managed to get back to the dude in one piece and showed him the brakes weren't working. He again got to work and again "fixed" the brakes. Again, they still weren't working. Finally, I had an ephiphany -- this guy is trying to kill me!

I took the bike to the bike shop to get fixed...and am now watching my back carefully.

* This was written for dramatic affect. In reality I had my front brake but no back brake. The bike still could barely slow down and if you know about brakes (as my friend Sam) you shouldn't just use a front brake because you can flip over.

Cardio

Last night I saw a bizarre site in Hanoi -- a jogger.

There are people who jog in parks but very few people who run on the streets. It doesn't take a genius to know that running on streets in Vietnam will most likely end up doing a lot worse things for your health than the benefits you could gain from jogging.

One thing that I've noticed for two years now is that Vietnamese people, in general, have horrible cardiovascular. The guys I play frisbee with are all in great shape (six packs, bulging biceps, etc.) but they can't run for more than a few minutes without being winded.

I've been reading a lot about Michelle Obama's child obesity campaign. People in Vietnam are far from obese but I think Vietnam needs to have a similar campaign to get people moving in order to improve their cardio. It's not hard to see why people don't have good stamina here. Nobody walks anywhere. People often ride their motorbikes for one minute rather than walk for ten.

I think there are a lot of cultural things that go into this:
1. The sidewalks are for eating and parking bikes, not for walking.
2. Vietnamese people often like to stay out of the sun to keep their skin from darkening.
3. There is a lack of open space in the cities. Even the soccer fields are about a quarter of the size of the fields we play on in America which means a lot less running.
4. The pollution is horrible. You don't want to be sucking wind while simultaneously breathing in exhaust fumes.

Recently I was watching the Sydney marathon on the television at the gym and thought, "A marathon in Hanoi would be amazing." I think someone should really push for this because Hanoi could be a great city for a marathon. Plus, it could get average people thinking about running and improving their cardio.

Vietnamese Old People

One of the things that I was most impressed with in Japan is how fit Japanese senior citizens are. The senior citizens there climb mountains, ride bikes around town and appear to be twenty years healthier than their actual age.

In Vietnam, well, not so much. One thing I've noticed in Vietnam is that Vietnamese people do not age well after about fifty-five. This is not to say that older Vietnamese people aren't strong, this is just to say that they look older than their age. I'm sure it is a combination of medicine and lifestyle but seemingly when people pass sixty they age exponentially faster than other senior citizens around the world.

This is interesting to me because younger Vietnamese people look much younger than people their same age in America. When I look at Vietnamese college students I think that they look like American high school students. When I look at Vietnamese high school students I think that they look like American middle school students. If one could draw a graph it would be fascinating to see at what age Westerners and Vietnamese look the same age and at what point Vietnamese start to age faster. That's my deep thought for today...