Belated Father's Day

I've written countless blogs saying how great my parents are. Being home, spending time with them, only solidifies how strongly I feel to have an amazing mother and father.

Whenever my father talks about his dad -- Max August -- he always has an obvious sense of pride beam across his face. I know my father loved his father as much as a son possibly could have. I know my dad feels that his father was the greatest father in the world. And well, that's how I feel about my dad too.

Here's a picture of my grandpa Macky holding my father:

















Happy belated Father's Day, Dad! You've truly followed in your father's footsteps as an amazing dad.

Reverse Culture Shock #5

(PICTURE: Lilah and me.)

Here's a big reverse culture shock: I'm around lots of babies.

One thing you notice in your mid to late twenties is that you're rarely around babies. If I had to guesstimate, I would say that maybe 5 times a year between 2001-2008 I was around infants. Sure there is the occasional coworker with a baby but none of your friends are popping out kids till you're usually around 26 at the earliest. I wouldn't say I'm nervous around babies but, well, I'm just not 100% comfortable. To me it's like the first time your dad gives you his car keys. You know what you should and shouldn't do but you're still slightly frightened you're going to do something wrong.

In Vietnam I often hung out with Huyen's nephew Viet Hoang. However, Viet Hoang is two years old which is a whole different world compared to a ten month old. And well, Vietnam is a whole different world than America. In 'Nam you drive 2 year olds on your motorbike. I'm pretty sure if you did that here you'd lose custody of your kid in a heartbeat. That said, one thing that Lilah and Viet Hoang due have in common is that neither speaks English. Kids are the same everywhere in this regards -- if you smile and make stupid faces, they'll love you.

Celebration Dance

Michael Halper is a long time friend of mine. I've known Mike since we started playing traveling soccer together in fourth grade. However, more importantly than Halper being my friend, he's an avid Ahoy Hanoi fan. For a while now, Halper has sent me emails complaining that I've never given him a shout out on the blog. In fact, Halper wrote me this email on May 26th after I mentioned on the blog a few of our classmates I had seen Memorial Day:

Would just like to point out that ___ and ___ made the blog before I did. I can't believe it!! Seriously, of all the meaningless events you pointed out on your blog over the year, I couldn’t get one shout out. I had a kid for cying out loud! You were on the distribution list (I think) of her first picture for one reason (and not because I like you)…SO I COULD MAKE THE BLOG!

On Saturday night I got to hang out with Halper and he decided to bribe his way on to the blog. After complaining to me in person that he hadn't been mentioned he looked me straight in the eye and said, "Oh, hey, are you still taking donations for the Habitat house?" I said I was and he opened up his wallet and handed me a donation. He then said, "This isn't just so I get on the blog." Well, Halper, congratulations, you made the blog and it isn't just because you donated towards the house...although that helped a lot.

Because Halper is a hell of a guy -- and this is a huge moment for him -- I'm gonna let him do a celebration dance on my blog:

Kari and Brad's Wedding

First off, Happy Father's Day. Later this week I will have a belated Father's day blog about my dad. However, today I need to blog about Kari and Brad's wedding. Man, what a wedding! Even though the weather was crummy, the only other thing that would have made the wedding better was if Huyen was there. I can't wait till she can eventually come to an American wedding. When I got home last night Huyen asked me on skype video to see pictures. Well, here's 100...




My friend Jeremy and I were co-best men at the wedding. We gave a speech on Friday at the rehearsal dinner that was sort of a roast. Last night we gave a more heartfelt toast. Here's the transcript from the toast:


BEN: For those of you, who don’t know us, I’m Ben and this is Jeremy, and we’re life long friends of Bradley…who coincidentally I’ve never actually called Bradley until this very moment.

But before we start making fun of Brad we’d like to take a moment to congratulate Walter and Susan. Walter and Susan have always been like a second set of parents to me and Jeremy.

JER:
Walter, along with my Dad, was the coach of Livingston Lightning, our traveling soccer team from grades 3-12. He also used to take us to baseball card conventions on the weekends and taught us the art of haggling over twenty five cent trading cards. Walter is also responsible for first introducing us to the world of cologne. In fact, I’ve never actually had to buy a bottle of cologne myself because Walter would wear enough for both of us…forever.

BEN:
And Susan has always been, well, Susan. She’s a legend among our parents. My dad actually wrote a five page speech about Susan that he wanted me to read tonight but I had to say no. One thing I can tell you about Susan is that around college she started to ask Jeremy and I, “Don’t you have a nice Jewish girl for your friend Bradley.” And now ironically Brad’s getting married before both of us to a girl who Susan loves because, well, she’s just like Susan. She’s short. She’s Jewish and she loves to clean. So, our congratulations to Susan and Walter isn’t actually because Brad is getting married but rather because Susan and Walter can now keep that $1,000 finders fee they offered us if we set Brad up with his wife. So Congratulations.

BOTH:
We love you Walter and Susan.

JER: Susan, this now concludes your portion of the speech, so you can now sit back, relax and enjoy the wedding. You see, we promised Susan and many others that we would behave up here tonight, so in honor of Brad and Kari, we will keep this short!

BEN: Knowing Brad as long as we have, we’d like to take this opportunity to tell you a little bit about him, some things you may already know, and some you may not. What you DO know, is that Brad is brilliant. He went to college at Penn and then outdid himself by getting a perfect score on his LSAT and going to Harvard Law. And as we all know now, Brad’s a rising star at Proskauer Rose.

JER:
But what you DON’T know is that Brad learned everything from us! (BOTH: Yeah, that’s not true.) On a personal note, I realized Brad’s intelligence at a very young age. I can remember at around 7 years old, playing original baseball on Nintendo with him in my scary basement. While I was naming all of MY players, Ernie, Bert and Cookie Monster, Brad was methodically calculating slugging percentage and ERA’s for his. We’re now thirty and I still have no idea know what a slugging percentage is.

BEN:
What you also don’t know is that in elementary school, Brad was placed into an elite academic group called GTE, or Gifted and Talented Enriched which at the age of 10 was studying quantum physics and I kid you not, contacting paranormal beings with wire hangers. On a side note, I was rejected every year from GTE which was shocking, not because I was smart, but because my father was on the Board of Education. The point is, Brad has always been the smartest person I’ve ever known… Although asking us to give a speech in front of his new relatives probably wasn’t that smart.

JER:
As intelligent as Brad is, he is even more superstitious. I can not tell you the number of Giants games that I’ve “watched” with Brad, only to have him face the opposite direction of the TV because he thinks it will bring the G-men luck. I actually remember going to his house one time to watch a Ranger game, and he ended up spending the entire 3rd period in the bathroom, because every time he had to go pee, Mark Messier would score a goal.

BEN:
In fact, Brad is so superstitious that Kari isn’t the only person wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Brad is actually wearing his BLUE Vanbiesbrouck jersey underneath his tux, he’s wearing a NEW tie and he’s wearing the same OLD underwear he had on when the Rangers won the Stanley Cup in 1994 which not surprisingly still fits him. Oh, and he BORROWED Kari’s black high heels.

JER:
Anyway, Brad was not just the smart and superstitious kid growing up, but he was also a terrific athlete. What you DO know is that he was a star high school soccer and hockey player.

BEN:
But what you DON’T know is that he also dominated other sports as well. He is a master of the doggy paddle, and by age 18, was finally able to dunk his head underwater. And in middle school, Brad went undefeated in his wrestling career – although this was due to the fact that he was the only teenager in the under 60 pound weight class.

JER:
And in golf, he won the elite award for best temper tantrum displayed on a public golf course, after throwing his putter 50 feet into a lake and crying hysterically because of an unfortunate 3-putt. By the way, this happened just the other day when he was playing a round with the rabbi.

BEN:
Brad’s nerdiness and sports ability comes from one thing: Brad is the most competitive person you will ever meet. In fact, here’s something else you probably don’t know. Brad was offered a full scholarship to every law school he applied to except Harvard. However, Brad chose to pay to go to Harvard because he wanted the best.

JER:
Brad’s competitive nature has made him want to be the best at everything that he does, and I know Ben and I agree Brad is the best friend anyone could ever have.

BEN:
And Kari is the best girl in the world for him.

JER:
Kari, you know that we think the world of you. You’re beautiful, thoughtful and sweet. But as great as we know you are, you are also very lucky to have found Brad.

BEN:
Brad is the most genuine and loyal guy we know. There’s nobody I would rather have in my corner if times are tough than Brad. And you’ve now got him in your corner for life.

JER:
And although Brad might be vertically challenged, his heart is taller than anyone’s.
Kari and Brad, we love you guys very much. So, if everyone would please raise your glasses.

JER:
To Kari…

BEN:
…and Brad…

BOTH:
…and the very very very VERY short children they’re going to have. Le’Chaim

Thanks a lot God.

It's been raining here all day. Apparently God takes Fridays off during the summer and didn't read the email I sent him yesterday.

T minus five hours and two minutes till Brad gets married!

Dear God

TO: God@godofweather.com
FROM: ahoyhanoi@gmail.com

Dear God of Weather,

This weekend I am the co-best man in my friend Brad's wedding. I noticed in your daily announcement on weather.com that you plan on showering northern New Jersey with rain and lightning tomorrow. Unfortunately your plans don't coordinate with Brad and his soon-to-be wife Kari who have planned an outdoor wedding for tomorrow evening. As co-best man -- and the author of a minimally popular blog -- I think it is my duty to ask you to postpone your tumultuous weather plans until Monday (nobody wants it to rain on Sunday either because it is Father's Day). Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

Ben

P.S. Brad and Kari are going to Hawaii on Monday for their honeymoon. Their trip is well deserved and should be totally awesome...unless of course their is a nuclear attack from North Korea. I only mention this because I read on CNN.com this morning:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the United States could defend itself in the event of a North Korean missile launch toward Hawaii, and that U.S. officials were monitoring the situation carefully.

According to Japanese media Thursday, North Koreans are preparing to make such a launch.

With missile interceptors and radar equipment in the region, "we are in a good position should it become necessary to protect the American territory," Gates said.

So, ah, God, while you're up there in the sky holding back the thunder can you also stop any potential nuclear warheads. Oh, and while we're on the subject, if you're not too busy, how about a little world peace? That would be really great. Thanks again in advance.

Reverse Culture Shock #4

Without a doubt the biggest reverse culture shock there is for me, is money. I find that I'm constantly doing currency conversions in my and realizing how much more expensive things are in America compared to Vietnam. The result of this has been that I'm feeling extremely cheap these days.

Here's a few simple conversions I've done recently:

1. I paid $10 for breakfast at my local diner in New Jersey. For that same $10 I could have eaten 40 breakfasts at my local market in Vietnam.

2. In Pittsburgh we paid $150 a night for a hotel room. That is two weeks rent for me in Vietnam or FOUR MONTHS rent for Huyen.

3. Two weeks ago my friends wanted to rent a car for the weekend which would have cost almost $400. $400 is more than how much it cost to rent my motorbike for THE YEAR!

4. At the gas pump recently, it cost $35 to fill up the car. That is roughly three months worth of gas for my motorbike in Vietnam.

5. Yesterday I met my friend Lisa for a drink and two beers cost us $8. That is the same as 47 beers at my local bia hoi. 47 beers!!!!!

Like the picture above, I feel like I'm flushing money down the toilet. That said, I still always tip 20%...which is infinitely more than you ever tip in Vietnam since you don't tip there!