Quan Lan: Robbers

(PICTURE: Huyen standing in the doorway of our ATI beach bungalow.)

Before we went to Quan Lan, I read a review of ATI Resort from a foreigner who wrote about having all of his possessions stolen and the authorities/resort doing nothing to help him. Well, Huyen and I were booked to stay at this resort on our last night so I was extra paranoid about someone stealing our stuff and especially the ring! All day and night I carried a backpack with anything of value; there was no way I was gonna be robbed on the first night I met Huyen and then again on our engagement night!

After a long day at the beach and a celebratory dinner, Huyen and I went back to our bungalow around 8:30 PM. It was already pitch black near our place but we were able to see a man approaching us with a flashlight. The man, who was probably in his sixties, turned out to be a security guard. The guard walked from bungalow to bungalow checking up on things. I wish I had some pictures of the whole resort complex but I don't. Basically from the two farthest bungalows to each other was probably 150 meters. It was a long distance for one security guard to cover by himself. On top of that, the resort wasn't fenced in. Actually, during the day a bunch of locals and tourists strolled up around the bungalows while we were hanging out on the beach. In fact, a group of eight tourists hung out on our porch because they thought nobody was staying there. The point is, security wasn't so tight.

Well, sure enough, at 11PM Huyen woke me up because there was a lot of commotion outside. A whole bunch of Vietnamese tourists in the bungalow next to ours were looking for the security guard. Turns out someone robbed their bungalow and took off with all their stuff (which I'm assuming includes the very expensive cameras that they were taking photos with on the beach during the day).

In case I'm not doing a good job in helping you put two and two together -- this resort is clearly cased out by the locals and robbed on a regular basis. This was the cherry on top for why I will never go back to Quan Lan.

Quan Lan Island: Jellyfish

If the people and garbage doesn't dissuade you from going to Quan Lan, perhaps this will: The beaches are covered with jellyfish!

Actually, I should say, they are covered with the BIGGEST JELLYFISH I HAVE EVER SEEN! The good news is that supposedly the jellyfish don't sting. The bad news is that if you're scared of jellyfish (like me) they are really freaking scary.

The locals aren't scared of the jellyfish at all though. In fact, Huyen and I watched as a bunch of local boys picked up jellyfish from the beach and threw them on each other. To be honest, with my affection for the locals combined with their abuse of marine life, I was hoping the jellyfish did sting when I witnessed them tossing the creatures at each other.

Quan Lan Island: Clean Beaches?

Not every Vietnamese person litters, but my goodness, too many do. Those who don't need to start taking it upon themselves to say something to those who do. Seriously, it pisses me off in Hanoi when people throw trash on the ground but it really really really pisses me off when people throw trash on the beach or in a park or forest. I have no doubt that Quan Lan had perfectly clean beaches a year ago before tourism started to pick up there. However, now there's trash everywhere.

It's vile how on every beach there's a line of garbage and debris that is washed up with the tide.

Check out this photo:



I've finally come to this conclusion: If you want clean beaches don't come to Vietnam. Thailand is a hop, skip and jump from here and the beaches there are exponentially cleaner. Come to Vietnam for the culture and the food and the people (except the ones who litter) -- not for clean beaches. I'm officially done with Vietnamese beaches.

Quan Lan Island, Vietnam

(PICTURE: Don't let this nice picture deceive you...read below.)

For about a year, I had heard from many foreigners how great Quan Lan Island was. Quan Lan is a small island on the outskirts of Halong Bay which supposedly has the cleanest beaches in all of Vietnam. I had been aching to get there for a long time and thought, from what I had been told, that it was the perfect scenic place to propose to Huyen.

Well, reason #18,552 that I know Huyen and I are a perfect match is that we were able to have such a great time on the island which, having now been there, I can claim is THE WORST PLACE IN ALL OF VIETNAM!

Here's reason #1 that you should never go to Quan Lan Island: The people suck. Yes, all of the people. Every single person we met there was trying to scam us. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration -- 90% of everyone we met was dishonest. Here's a little anecdote:

On the bus ride from Hanoi to the port of departure to Quan Lan, Huyen overheard a girl talking on the phone about Quan Lan. Huyen struck up a conversation with this girl who told us that she worked for the government in Quan Lan. Huyen and I had left on Thursday night so that we could take the first boat to the island in the morning. We didn't have a place to stay so the girl said we should stay at her friend's guesthouse by the port. The guesthouse was a SHITHOLE and cost us probably twice what it should have.


(PICTURE: Don't be deceived -- this room had no hot water, no mosquito net, no towels, a light that wouldn't turn off all night and I'm pretty sure bed bugs.)

We arrainged to meet the girl the next morning to take the boat together. The girl was twenty five minutes late and eventually showed up without an apology. Despite her tardiness, I bought her breakfast. She didn't say thanks. The girl then told us that it was going to cost 100,000 VND to take the boat. Despite her thanklessness a minute earlier, I gave her 300,000 VND. Again, she didn't say thank you. Oh, and the boat tickets were stamped with a price of 80,000 VND (but in her defense, I think they were just old tickets).

When we got to the island, the fun really started. As soon as we got off the boat I saw two Army Officers. One of the guys locked eyes with me -- the only foreigner on the boat -- and darted towards me. He started to say something which amounted to me having to register and pay a "fee" for being on the island. The place to register was at the end of the dock. Huyen, the local government girl and I got into a tuk-tuk and told the officers we would stop at the office to register. The second Army guy came over and reiterated what the first guy had said. The local girl told us that she knew both guys. Wellllll, the tuk-tuk driver decided it wasn't important for me to register so he blew by the army office. The local girl said it was no problem and took us to her Aunt's guest house to stay (her Aunt later tried to scam us on the agreed upon price).

About thirty minutes after dropping off our bags, the local girl called Huyen. She said that the Army officers were really pissed off at us and that we'd have to pay a fine -- on top of the fee -- for not registering. She asked us to go back to the dock and talk to the army guys. Oh, and then she aid that in her haste to go talk to the army people she ran out of gas and asked us to pick her up some (I should say now that gas on this island is quite expensive since they have to bring it all by boat). Well, Huyen and I bought some gas for the girl, rented a motorbike for the day and headed back to the dock. As we drove we kept wondering how close to the dock the girl would be with her gas-less motorbike. Turns out she was at the dock already. Staying true to her character, she took the gas WITHOUT A THANKS!

Anyway, we now had to talk with the Army guys who, long story short, said they'd only charge me the fee and not the fine. What nice guys, huh? The fee only cost me 200,000 VND or roughly 200,000 VND more than I've ever had to pay to visit anywhere in Vietnam. The officers couldn't have been friendlier once I paid them the money. Gotta love corruption.

This was all within the first hour of being on the island. It wasn't an anomaly though -- people on this island just couldn't be trusted. So, if you're a random web surfer who just googled "Quan La" and came upon my blog, take my advice and don't. If this post isn't enough of a reason to persuade you, check back in tomorrow for another reason.

And random readers, if you decide to ignore my warning at least listen to this: If you see the girl next to Huyen in the picture below, don't trust her, her family or anyone she works with.

The Ring

(PICTURE: Ring shopping with Chi!)

The first time I knew I might marry Huyen was a long long time ago. It was actually within the first few months of us dating. I remember distinctly that we were walking around Hoam Kiem lake and I asked her some cultural question about marriage. I asked if Vietnamese men gave engagement rings and she said yes. I asked how much they spent on them and she said like 2,000,000 VND...which is just over $100. Coming from Los Angeles where women wore diamond rings worth more than the car I drove, this was, music to my ears!

Sooooooooo about two months ago I decided I was gonna pop the big question on our anniversary. I asked Huyen's sister if she could help me ring shop but unfortunately she was too busy (she literally works as an accountant for four different companies on top of being a mom). My back up ring shopper was my good friend Chi. Chi was really excited to help me out and within two hours of sending her my initial text asking if she could give me an assist, we were in our first jewelry shop. I felt quite confident shopping with Chi even though she freely admitted she knew as much as I did about getting engagement rings.

Chi and I went to a few jewelry shops and saw some rings that we liked. We ended up at a very nice shop that had diamond rings. Here's one thing that makes sense but hadn't really crossed my mind: Diamonds are the same price in Vietnam and America. I thought about getting Huyen a diamond for about ten minutes...until I called Huyen's sister. Huyen's sister gave me the best advice I've ever gotten, "Get a cheap ring!"

This was all the encouragement I needed to end any thoughts of emptying my Vietnamese bank account. Chi and I went back to a shop where we had spotted a nice ring earlier in the day and made the purchase. The ring has a white gold band with a small mounted stone on it. I have no idea what kind of stone it is but from a few feet away it actually looks like a diamond!

(PICTURE: That smile on my face was for the very real prospect of getting married...while still having the majority of my previous two months salary in my wallet.)

I told Huyen that when we move to the states I'll get her a diamond ring if she wants one. Huyen smiled at this but said she isn't gonna want one...

...and that's why I will point to this blog a few years from now when she comes back from brunch with all of her LA girlfriends and says, "I want a diamond ring..."

Looking Into The Past Before We Embark On Our Future

Ryan sent me a great email today referencing one of my first blog posts about Huyen. It's really funny (or prophetic as Ryan says) to go back and read it now -- especially the closing line.

I'm gonna cut and copy that post below and write some corrections in the text:

Friday, May 16, 2008

Um, yeah, I might have a Vietnamese Girlfriend

(PICTURE: Huyen wearing a traditional Vietnamese dress in front of The Temple of Literature)

So Huyen (the girl who asked me if I "was going to make water") and I have hung out a couple more times recently [NOTE: She still jokingly asks if I'm making water from time to time]. She and her sister came over on Tuesday night and cooked an amazing house-warming dinner for Ryan and I [NOTE: This was the house we ended up being evicted from because I was dating Huyen]. Then yesterday she swung by during the day to talk for a little while and to drink fresh melon shakes [NOTE: Huyen never made me a fresh melon shake again. Hmmmm, I'm gonna have to inquire about this].

Now the question is, how many times does it take for a boy and a girl in Vietnam to hang out before they are considered boyfriend and girlfriend [NOTE: I'm still not sure of this answer. I now know the answer to getting engaged though]?

In case you're wondering here are Huyen's stats:
Age: 23 [NOTE: Because of the crazy way Vietnamese date birthdays -- and my terrible skills in Math -- I'm still not sure how old she was when we met]
Occupation: College Student at the University of Hanoi; finishing her thesis in economics. [NOTE: She is now a merchandiser for a company importing/exporting socks and will hopefully be a university student again when we move to America. My hope is Huyen can get her MBA in the states.]
Languages: Vietnamese (A+), Russian (A+) [NOTE: Despite winning the National Prize for Russian in Ha Nam Province, Huyen's Russian skills are about as good as my Vietnamese skills. I'm lowering her grade to C-] , English (B) [NOTE: Thanks to her phenomenal English tutor she's now up to an A-], French (C+) [NOTE: The first night we hung out she said a few words in French which made me give her this grade. It didn't take me long though to realize she doesn't know much French at all. Grade update: D-], Japanese (C+) [NOTE: See the French note. Grade update: D-]
Height: 5'7 or 5'8. She's a giant out here. [NOTE: Huyen is a giant out here but after finally figuring out the height metric application on my phone I can report that she's just under 5'6]
Extra Curricular Activities: Badminton [NOTE: She's really good at Badminton...so good that she beat me the last time we played], Cooking [NOTE: I think she's an amazing cook although she claims she is the worst in her family], Riding her motorbike [NOTE: Now she likes letting me drive all the time], going to the movies, hanging out with family [NOTE: This is still as true as ever].

One negative about Huyen is that she literally might kill me [NOTE: It hasn't happened yet but she's threatened me a few more times since this incident]. Yesterday I made a joke about her bothering me and she started to strangle me and said, "You are so mean!" I'll keep you posted on this budding romance. If it does turn into marriage, I expect everyone to fly out for the wedding. [NOTE: I still expect everyone to fly out for the wedding!!!]

Two Years...and one very big moment

For two years, I've smiled every time I've seen Huyen...
For two years, I've felt like the luckiest person in the world...
For two years, Huyen has made me laugh like nobody else ever has...
For two years, Huyen has made me feel special every time we're together...
For two years, I've cherished every moment we've spent with one another...
For two years, we've had countless adventures...
For two years, I've believed in fate...
For two years, Huyen's been my best friend...

For all of those reasons, watch till the end of this video:



Here's the engagement story:

For our two year anniversary I took Huyen away to Quan Lan island near Halong Bay. The two of us spent three days together on this isolated island enjoying the peace and solitude and just being together. On the day of our anniversary, we checked into a bungalow on the beach and spent the whole day lounging around with about a half kilometer of white sandy beach to ourselves. After hiding the ring box in a pair of socks all day -- which Huyen had pulled out of my bag at some point but didn't realize was in there -- I decided the time was right.

The tide was coming in and although the sun hadn't set yet, the scene felt perfect. I told Huyen I wanted to shoot a video for the blog and asked her to go stand a little far from the camera. I had previously decided that I wanted to share the moment with everyone but I didn't want everyone to be able to hear what I said; I wanted to keep that between us. Once the camera was rolling, I joined Huyen and we started to make a video about our anniversary (which I edited out of the clip for time sake). After talking for a minute, I gathered my nerves and said my speech....the rest is history.

Three notes on this video:
1. Huyen is actually really tall. However, I was standing on a slight hill which makes me look like a giant.
2. If you didn't notice, we weren't sure at first which finger to put the ring on. Whoops. You don't get to have two takes in these situations.
3. I decided I wanted to share this video on my blog since so many of you have followed our journey together for so long and have been so extremely supportive...

We hope many of you can join us at our wedding! Circle your calendars on December 19th!