The Lunar Calendar

Despite having lived in Vietnam for over a year, I'm still constantly hearing things that make me shake my head and say, "Really?"

The other day Huyen told me about her co-worker who just gave birth to a baby boy. The coworker was very concerned because the boy was born on the first day of the lunar month. According to Huyen, it's very bad if boys are born on the first day of the lunar month because it means they're going to be "strange" and "difficult to raise."

If you're curious, it's equally worrisome to give birth to a girl in the middle of the lunar month.

A little advice from Ahoy Hanoi for those of you who are starting to think about having a baby: I would suggest consulting a lunar calendar before conception. As crazy as some of the things I hear out here are, there's often some truth to them!

The War

People don't often bring up the war with America but sometimes stories are told. While at Huyen's uncle's house this past weekend two things were said. First, Huyen's 98-year-old great grandmother said to me, "The Americans left thirty or forty years ago. Why are you still here?"

When she asked the question everyone had a good laugh. I'm pretty sure she didn't intend to be rude and I didn't feel insulted in the least. I think she was generally curious why I was in Vietnam. In fact, Huyen's great grandmother actually really likes me and often holds my hand. She also told me this past weekend that I have a really nice smile.

The other mention of the war came from Huyen's grandmother. Her grandmother told us that during the war an American plane was shot down in her village (the village we were all gathered in). The pilot survived the crash and the villagers took him out of the cockpit. She said the injured pilot was too heavy to carry so they put him on a plow/cart, pulled by a water buffalo. She said that as they pulled him through the village all the children would run up to soldier and yank out his leg hair. The way she told it, the children weren't trying to be mean, they were just curious about this hairy person who had dropped from the sky.

I asked what happened to the soldier and she said they took him to a prison.

I think she told this story not because she wanted to talk about the war, but because she wanted to talk about hairy foreigners. I was wearing a t-shirt and my hairy forearms were on full display. Vietnamese, like most Asians, aren't exactly hairy. I'm a hairy beast out here and many times people have randomly felt my arm hair. I think Huyen's grandmother looked at my arms and it triggered the story.

Magical Moment

Enclosed in my suitcase on my return trip to Vietnam were a bunch of presents for Huyen's family. One of the presents I had was for Viet Huong, Huyen's nephew. My mother bought Viet Huong a copy of her favorite children's book, "The Runaway Bunny" by Margaret Wise Brown.

I gave the book to Viet Huong on Saturday and he looked less than interested. He can't read English and the book was less exciting to him than the licroice Nibs I gave him (which he didn't end up liking!). Well, the next day Huyen and I met up with her family again for the anniversary of her great grandmother's death. We drove out to her Uncle's house and spent the afternoon with her mother, brother, sister, brother-in-law, nephew, great grandmother, grandparents, aunts and cousins. When I first saw Viet Hoang that day he was still clutching the book. This made me feel a lot better that my mother had chosen a good gift for him. Well, it got even better.

After lunch Viet Huong came up to Huyen and sat on her lap. He handed her the book and asked her to translate it for him. We ended up having story time. Five children gathered around us and we began to read the book. I would read a page in English and Huyen would then translate in Vietnamese while I showed off the pictures. To say the children were mesmerized would be an understatement. When we finally finished reading, Viet Hoang announced, "I'm going to runaway!"

Reading the book out loud took on additional meaning for me. For those of you who haven't read the book (and you should yell at your mom for not reading it to you) it's about a bunny who runs away from home but is always followed by his mother. The lesson is that no matter where you go your mother will be with you. I wouldn't say that I've run away from home but I'm 10,000 miles away from [REDACTED]. And while my mother isn't physically following me around the globe, she's obviously always in my thoughts.

But reading the book this past Sunday took on even more meaning. While at her family's house, Huyen's sister was giving me a hard time about one day moving to America with Huyen. Huyen's sister is already mad at her other sister because she lives in Hue, about a fourteen hour bus ride away. To say she isn't happy with the notion of her sister being a 24 flight away would be putting it lightly. Huyen's family obviously wants her to stay in Vietnam and it's going to be really hard when she and I eventually live in America. Being a "run away bunny" isn't easy for anyone!

Cha Cha Cha Changes...

I was away from America for fifteen months yet there weren't any big changes in how it looked to me. There were only two significant things that I noticed:

1. In New York City, around Time Square, Broadway was closed and turned into a pedestrian area. Where there used to be a lot of traffic, people are now congregating and hanging out on lawn chairs. The traffic, well, it's been pushed to all the surrounding avenues.

2. In Livingston, under the guidance of Mayor August, the town is constructing a huge Town Hall/Police Station/Court House.

Besides these two things all seemed about the same back in the good old U S of A. Well, things aren't as stagnate here in Hanoi. I was away for only three months yet the city has changed a lot. Specifically, in an attempt to combat the horrific traffic, the city has changed the flow of traffic all over the city.
(PICTURE: These metal barricades are a common fixture on the streets of Hanoi these days.)

I've noticed about ten places already that used to be four way intersection but are now just two lane roads. I keep riding around on Huyen's motorbike, finding myself having to make U-turns or use alternative routes to get places. A couple of the changes are fantastic and you can really see tangible results in the flow of traffic. Some other places though really make no sense. In two former big intersections there is now a steady congestion of cars and bikes making U-turns into head on traffic. One thing hasn't changed though -- riding a bike keeps your heart pumping!

Have I Mentioned I'm Fat?

I wrote a blog a few weeks ago complaining that I put on a few pounds while I was home. I've guesstimated the total weight gain to be around five or six pounds. Although true, the blog was half in jest. I figured I would gain weight back home because of my mom's good cooking and the overall portion size of American meals versus Vietnamese meals. Well, the joking is over. I am officially fat and very very self conscious. When I say that everyone has called me fat since I returned I would be exercising hyperbole. EVERYONE HAS CALLED ME FAT!!!!

You might think people are just giving me a hard time so I'll just point to examples out:
1. The child I tutor (who got taller and a little heavier himself during his summer break) immediately said to me, "You got very fat in America."
2. Huyen nephew Viet Hoang upon seeing me yelled out, "Uncle Ben!" in Vietnamese. He then turned to his parents and said, "Uncle Ben is big now." I don't think he was talking about my muscles.

Kids say the darndest things!

In spirit of my tight pants, here's a photo my buddy Tom photoshopped of me a few years ago after we went to Italy. In my defense I was jokingly posing in my bathing suit that I wore as a joke. Unfortunately, this is how I actually see myself these days! Enjoy:

Nibs

Last year when I began traveling I kept finding little yellow post-it notes in my stuff. On the notes were written sweet messages from my mother. Well, she did it again. This year though she didn't hide notes in my bags. She hid packs of delicious licorice Nibs.

Nibs are tied for my favorite candy ever behind Scores bars. My mom, knowing all about my sweet tooth, placed the Nibs inside zip locks and crammed them into various places in my stuff. The first one I found was inside a pair of dress shoes. The next one was between folded clothes on top of my bag and the last one was between more clothes on the bottom of my bag.

Upon finding the first bag I immediately opened it and tried to convey my excitement to Huyen. Huyen has a bigger sweet tooth than me and I thought she was going to devour the bag before I could. I cautiously offered her a Nib and waited for her jubilant reaction...which never came. Huyen instead looked like she just ate a bug. She said, "I don't like this. It's like eating rubber." As much as I was surprised she didn't share my love of Nibs, I was equally elated. That meant I could eat the whole bag for myself!!!!

As I stuffed the Nibs into my mouth (I can't just eat one at a time) I began to think about an HBO documentary my father and I watched while I was home. The documentary was called Gangja Queen and was about Corby, an Australian girl who is imprisoned in Bali for smuggling in a huge bag of marijuana. As the HBO website explains: "...the documentary explores numerous explanations for the appearance of the drugs in Corby's bag. Did this seemingly average young woman actually commit the crime for which she is accused? Did one of her family members put the marijuana in her bag without (or with) her knowing? Was there a connection to the Australian neighbor who grew pot on his property? Or was Schapelle simply the unlucky victim of a domestic drug-running operation?"

I'm pretty sure smuggling Nibs into Vietnam isn't illegal, but man, my Mom sure would have felt really guilty had a licorice sniffing dog began barking at me while going through customs.

Typhoon Anyone?

(PICTURE: Typhoon Morakat is stronger than umbrellas.)

One thing I learned last year is that there is really no difference between a typhoon and a hurricane. They're both tropical cyclones with the only real difference being -- and please tell me if I'm wrong -- that hurricanes happen in the Atlantic and typhoons happen in the Pacific.

Besides watching hurricanes and typhoons on CNN, my only real experience with them has been when I was a little kid living on Longacre Drive (my first house). I remember a hurricane came to New Jersey and being down in the basement of that house. Besides that I've got zero experience with tropical cyclones...until yesterday.

Yesterday I flew from Newark to Taipei, Taiwan en route to Hanoi. My Eva Air flight stopped in Anchorage, Alaska to refuel and strangely everyone was asked to get off the plane. We hung out in Anchorage for an hour or so and then got back on the plane and flew another twelve hours. When we were about thirty minutes from landing in Taiwan the captain got on the intercom and said something like, "Hello this is your captain. Thank you for flying with us. We will be landing shortly and there will be some turbulence because of the typhoon..." Nobody seemed to flinch at this announcement except for me. I figured he just used the word "typhoon" instead of "rain." The guy's English wasn't stellar so this could have just been an unfortunate mistake.

When I landed in Taipei -- like a good son -- I immediately got on my email and told my mom I was safe and sound. She wrote right back and said, "We were tracking the flight and the delay and dad found out there was a typhoon going toward Taipei so they were holding your plane - we didn't know for how long but I am glad you are there and emailing! xxxx love you, mom."

As I read the email I thought to myself, "There really was a typhoon?" I then -- for the first time -- looked out the window and saw the worst storm of my life. There were literally a row of palm trees bent over from the strong winds. And the rain, well, it was ridiculous. After staring in disbelief that we landed in the storm, I got back on my email and wrote Huyen telling her to check my flight status before leaving her apartment because most likely my flight was going to be delayed. Well, it wasn't delayed. We took off into the storm.

So just to summarize: yesterday I landed and took off in a typhoon (which is basically a hurricane). Ah, yeah, nuts. So, what did you do yesterday?