How awesome is Justin Bieber!!!!

(PICTURE: THE MAN!!!!)

How freaking awesome is Justin Bieber? Seriously, could this kid be any cooler? He's got it all!!!

Okay, yes, April Fools.

I've been meaning to write this blog for a little while so bear with me on this rant. There is no doubt that Justin Bieber is a talented kid. But here's the thing, he's a KID! I find it a littler perverse how obsessed people are with him. If you're a teenager, yeah, go crazy. Put up his posters and listen to his music. But if you're over eighteen, leave the Bieber-mania to your juniors.

My feelings came to a peak on this the other day when I was working out at the gym and the front desk decided to put on Bieber's album. I'm sorry but I don't want to work out to a teenage boy singing. And frankly, I'd be a little bit concerned about any adult who gets pumped up listening to Bieber.

Okay, that's the end of my rant. It wasn't too bad at all actually. Just do me a favor and turn off the Bieber. Heck if you want to listen to a real child prodigy, put on some Beethoven.

New Neighborhood

(PICTURE: I started off on Doi Can. Then I moved a little east. Then I was near Dong Da Lake towards the south of this map. Now though, I'm totally off the map.)

As I mentioned the other day, Huyen and I had to move to a new apartment for our last month in Hanoi. For those keeping score at home, this is the SIXTH neighborhood I've lived in in Hanoi. Sure, I've lived in some longer than others (two weeks, three months, one year, one week, one year and one month respectively) but they've all been quite different. This new neighborhood is pretty cool. I've got a small lake right outside my front door which is surrounded by cafe (the drawback of this being a lot of mosquitoes). This area of town is also known for its hair salons. There's literally about twenty in the alleys surrounding my place. There's also a little market and some good food stands to explore in the mornings. It's also right near my gym which means I've got no excuses to not work out my last month here.

It's funny but I'm now living on more or less the edge of Hanoi. My street isn't even on some Hanoi maps. I remember a couple years ago, I met some people who lived basically where I'm living. I remember thinking, "Why the hell would you live so far from the center?" Well, I now get it. It's kind of cool being in a totally random neighborhood. It feels, well, like the real city.

CSCD - Uniform Change?

(PICTURE: CSCD at night.)

I wrote a long time ago about the secret police in Vietnam who generally only come out at night. This branch of the military is called the CSCD. To me they're really freaking scary because they're very hard to see since they wear nearly all black uniforms. I guess if you want to be super-secretive-ninja-like you need to blend in with the darkness. However, there's one drawback of people not being able to see you at night -- it's that PEOPLE CAN'T SEE YOU AT NIGHT!

The other night Huyen and I were driving home from her sister's and I caught a flash of two CSCD officers on the main street near our house. Well, the next day there was a big local news story that two CSCD officers were run over and killed by a car right near our house on that main street. I'm not 100% sure it was the same guys I saw but logically they probably were. The two officers were hit by a guy who was driving home after karaoke. I would 100% bet that this guy was drinking and driving which is sadly the norm here...which is even more of a reason for the CSCD to wear brighter uniforms if they're gonna step out into the street at night to pull over cars.

I'm not trying to be funny here because their deaths were tragic. The point is though that these guys need to strike a balance between being stealth and being visible. Like if your mission that night is to double as a traffic cop, put on a fluorescent yellow uniform. If you're just busting drug dealers, then wear all black. Frankly, I'm surprised more CSCD don't get hit by speeding cars or motorbikes all the time.

Guessing Game

What are these:


A) Pillows

B) Small animal cages

C) Ethnic instruments

D) Handle-less purses

The answer is....

.....
.....
.....
.....

A) Pillows

These pillows are generally used during warmer months. They are actually quite comfortable and keep your head from getting too hot like a normal pillow can when you don't have AC.

Matrix Tournament

(PICTURE: I should have taken off my Jets hat if I wanted to win.)


(PICTURE: Teams Green, Orange and White.)

About a month ago, an email went out to all the Hanoi Ultimate Club saying we would have a "Matrix Tournament" that weekend. I'm not exactly sure what the tournament had to do with the Matrix but it sure was a lot of fun. We divided all of our players up into three teams. Whenever a team would score two points, the other team would have to leave the field. After about ten games, two teams went to the finals. Sadly, my team was the one that didn't make it to the finals. I put the blame solely on my shoulders.

I actually played really well that day although all my good plays were eradicated when my buddy Dave more or less out-jumped me for a winning score in our last game. I should mention that I probably have about five inches on Dave. It felt sort of like when John Starks dunked over Horace Grant and Michael Jordan. I'd like to say that I'm Jordan in this scenario but hell, I'll take Horace Grant comparisons any day of the week.

I like to think that I'm a very competitive person but know when to turn off the competitive juices. Meaning, I shouldn't care when I lose in a pick-up ultimate frisbee game. Generally I don't care but for some reason on this afternoon I was totally bummed out when my team lost. Is this some sort of aging thing? You know, like I can't make up for the high school championships I never won so it stings even more when I'm 31 and can't win a friendly frisbee match? Dammit, I'm still bitter that my high school soccer team lost to Westfield in 1995! Oh god, 1995?! That was sixteen years ago!

Gone Fishing

(PICTURE: Me and my bamboo fishing pole. It was defective.)

For the second time in Vietnam, I went fishing. Unlike the first time when nobody caught anything, this time everyone caught something....except for me! The only logical explanation for me not catching anything is that the fish were clearly prejudice against Americans or more likely were anti-Semitic. Seriously, there's no other explanation because we were fishing at a FISH FARM!!! I was told that there about a ton of fish in this pond:


(PICTURE: The fish farm.)

To make matters worse, Huyen caught TWO fish. Yeah, I'm not gonna hear the end of this:


(PICTURE: Huyen's first fish.)


(PICTURE: Huyen's second fish. Braggart.)

As I wrote yesterday, the women were supposed to be home making cake. Huyen got invited along to serve as my translator and ended up catching the two biggest fish on the afternoon. Heck, now I understand why the men usually leave the women at home.

Banh Troi Nuoc

(PICTURE: This is the powder used to make Banh Troi Nuoc.)



(PICTURE: Huyen's aunts and mother starting to make the cake.)

The other weekend we went to visit Huyen's family because her uncle -- the same one that Huyen and her mom missed in HCMC -- was in town. I've had some feasts with Huyen's family before but this one was absolutely gigantic. I think it was the first time that Huyen and I were so full from lunch that we skipped dinner.

After eating, Huyen's uncles invited me to go fishing (tomorrow's blog) while the women were in charge of making Banh Troi Nuoc cake (the previous sentence sort of summarizes sexual equality in Vietnam). Huyen's uncles told me that Banh Troi Nuoc cake is symbolic of women in Vietnam because to make it is really tough and requires a lot of work but at the end the inside is still very sweet...or something like that.

Huyen sent me this poem about the cake written by the famous Vietnamese poet Ho Xuan Huong:

Bánh trôi nước (Hồ Xuân Hương) -
Thân em vừa trắng lại vừa tròn
Bảy nổi ba chìm vói nước non.
Rắn nát mặc dầu tay kẻ nặn
Mà em vẫn giữ tấm lòng son.

IN ENGLISH:

- Sweet dumpling -
My dough is white and my lot is round;
Seven times floated, three times sunk.
I swim in the waters and float on the mountains.
Hard or soft it depends on the kneader.
Regradless I determine to preserve my crimson viscus.