Honeymoon Romance

What could be more romantic on one's honeymoon than to take a private boat ride through majestic limestone karsts?

(PICTURE: This is more romantic than a gondola ride in Venice.)

Well the answer is that the only thing more romantic could be to do it with all your friends and family:

(PICTURE: Showing off our rings...and the four boats of wedding guests. There was another boat behind us too.)

On the morning after our wedding, we took everyone to Trang An in Ninh Binh. We had been to Tam Coc which is nearby and called the "Inland Halong Bay." Before planning the trip, I asked some of my students from Ninh Binh which was the better place to go to. It was unanimous, that Trang An was better. Now having been to both, I can agree. Here's the cooler aspects of Trang An:

1. Nobody was there except us. I'm sure this isn't always the case but it was on this day.
2. There were six caves that we went through. Some were very long and narrow. At Tam Coc there's only three caves which aren't nearly as cool.
3. At Trang An you go in a big circle versus in Tam Coc where you have to go back the exact way you came...which makes going back quite boring.

Here are some pictures from that morning:

(PICTURE: Our captain. That's Sebastian, JR and Urszula behind us.)


(PICTURE: My father and the Lichtmans wondering what that strange smell is.)


(PICTURE: The Salter family taking in the views.)


(PICTURE: My Aunt Ronny with a pagoda behind her.)


(PICTURE: A cool overexposed shot.)

Awesome Shirts!

One of the best wedding presents we got were these totally awesome shirts that my parents gave us:

(PICTURE: The shirts say "Just Married" in case you don't want to click on the picture.)

As fun as it was to wear the shirts the day after getting married, personally I can't wait for us to wear them all the time when we travel. I mean, you gotta figure if you wear them enough once in a while someone will send over drinks and/or buy your dinner. Am I right or what?!

Utterly Exhausted

(PICTURE: Dining on goat udder on our wedding night.)

At the end of our wedding day, I was certain of two things:

1. I was 100% married.
2. I was 100% exhausted.

Starting on December 1st, when our first friend arrived in Hanoi, I had been averaging less than five hours sleep per night. I'm positive that even when I was younger, I couldn't have handled a sleep schedule like that for nearly three weeks. The symptoms of a lack of sleep were creeping up on me. The most obvious was that I was losing my voice and constantly being told by my wife to shut up (is that a bad sign for starting a marriage?). On my wedding night, I only wanted to do one thing -- sleep!

However before I could count sheep, I had to eat goat. You see, Ninh Binh is famous for its goat and, well, I freaking love goat. Huyen and I had told everyone about the local delicacy but only the under 35-year-olds (I can't say young people anymore because Heather yelled at me after an earlier post) and the Salter parents were up for leaving the hotel. We had the bus driver bring us to his favorite goat restaurant where we all dined on goat prepared in a variety of ways. Following dinner, Huyen and I decided it was time to stop playing host and headed back to the hotel.

The hotel, named Legend Hotel, was immaculate. The four star hotel looked like nobody had ever stayed there before and well, I'm pretty sure not too many people had since it was brand spanking new. Huyen and I couldn't have asked for a better honeymoon suite as it was equipped with a giant bath and a humongous bed. Seriously, the bed was like two California kings stuck together. I kid you not, a dozen Vietnamese people could have easily lied side by side on this mattress. However, being as tired as I was, I'm pretty sure I could have slept on a wooden crate (you know, the bed I usually sleep on at Huyen's house) and slept like a baby. I can't think of a time when I had a deeper sleep then the night of my wedding.

Things One Might Not Want To Do On Their Wedding Day

(PICTURE: Ba Dinh Pagoda.)

After visiting the ancient capital of Hoa Lu, the giant pink bus headed toward the largest pagoda in southeast Asia -- Ba Dinh Pagoda.


(PICTURE: Various members of the honeymoon part at the temple.)

For you long time readers, you might recall that my cousin and I stumbled on to this place in 2008. When we came then, there wasn't even a paved road out to the pagoda.
(PICTURE: Justin with two people we met at the temple in 2008.)

I went again a year later with Huyen and Sebastian, and the place was still only half built.
(PICTURE: One of the many awesome photos Sebastian took in 2009.)

I had been told that the pagoda would finally be finished this year as part of the 1,000th anniversary of Hanoi. I should have realized that that didn't really make sense since the pagoda isn't in Hanoi but heck, I chalked it up to Vietnamese logic. Yeah, the pagoda wasn't even close to being finished.

On our wedding itinerary, we had written that we would make it to the pagoda in time to see sunset. Sticking to our schedule, we arrived about thirty minutes before the sun was scheduled to go down. However, there was a slight hiccup when we arrived at the pagoda; at the gate, a bunch of totally unofficial guys told us that our bus could not drive up to the top of the pagoda...at least not without their help. Basically, because it was a construction site, there was no way for our bus to drive up the road. However, these fine young gentleman told us that they would guide us on a back road to the top of the pagoda for a mere 350,000 VND. That's $17.50 or as they say in Vietnam -- highway robbery.

Some people might say that something you might not want to do on your wedding day is to follow a stranger on a back dirt road. However, I would say hogwash. Despite the road being a little too narrow and a lot too scary for some of my guests, we arrived at the top of the pagoda in about ten minutes. Everyone debarked from the bus and walked towards the pagoda. The reaction from everyone was just as I hoped it would be -- they were amazed at the vastness and beauty of the pagoda.

After taking in the highest temple on the mountain, we presented everyone with two options:
Option 1: We could take the bus down at that moment.
Option 2: We could walk down the mountain and meet the bus at the bottom.

Despite the sun setting, we chose Option 2...which led to a few fun memories:

Fun memory #1: As we began to descend the mountain, we quickly realized that there were no finished stairs. I'll never forget my mother and some other above 35s not willing to walk down a very slight dirt incline. This lead to to Huyen and someone else venturing off like Louise and Clark to find an acceptable path down the mountain.

Fun memory #2: Watching Huyen and ___ (I forget who else helped my mom and don't have a picture. This space will be filled in when Sebastian emails me the honeymoon pictures) help my mom down the half built stairs.

Fun memory #3: The look on a construction workers face as we made our way down the mountain. His face basically said, "Um, what the hell are you idiots doing?"

Fun memory #4: Somehow our group got separated into three groups. I was in the middle group and about halfway down the mountain when my phone rang. Here's the basic conversation:
BEN: Hello.
SEBASTIAN: Hey, uh, we're kind of lost. Where are you?
BEN: We're about halfway down the mountain to the right of the stairs on the left hand side.
HERB (who was standing next to me): Actually, they aren't called stairs. They're called ____ (my apparent lack of vocabulary is so bad I still don't know what the term is).
BEN: Okay, Sebastian we're next to the _____.
SEBASTIAN: What the fuck is ______.
BEN: They're the stairs. We're to the right of the ones on the left hand side.

Fun Memory #5: After it was officially totally dark out, my mother, Huyen, Hannah, Mark and some others got to the bottom of the mountain but couldn't find an exit door. Apparently my mother started to panic at the prospect of sleeping inside a pagoda all night and asked, "Should we start yelling for help?" My sister assured my mother that wasn't necessary and they soon found their way out.

Eventually we all boarded the bus and headed to Ninh Binh, the place we would spend our wedding night...and more importantly the moment I could finally get out of my wedding suit!

Remeber those who are suffering...

As I wrote the other day, there are seemingly 101 different interpretations as to what breaking a glass symbolizes at a Jewish wedding. I chose to focus on an optimistic interpretation; breaking the glass means your marriage will last forever. However, one of the more pessimistic/Jewish realist interpretations is that we break the glass to remember that even during our times of great happiness there are people suffering in the world. Unfortunately, shortly after the wedding, my wedding guests and I got to see some suffering first hand.

Shortly after leaving Phu Ly, the "honeymoon" bus was driving south down the two lane highway when it encountered a small traffic jam. I'm not sure who spotted him first but someone said, "There's a man in the road." It quickly became clear that there was an accident up ahead and everyone had the natural reaction of looking out their window. Being in the front of the bus and having perfect eagle eye vision, I was able to see that the scene ahead was extremely gruesome. I casually got up, walked down the aisle of the bus and told everyone to look away. Most people took my advice, turned their heads and averted their eyes. However, a couple of people didn't and instinctively muttered what they had seen. The first person said something like, "Oh my god he's dead." The second person added some description which I'll spare in this post. I'm writing this post a month after the wedding, and the image is still haunting me.

I've stood on my soap box a few times on this blog and I'll do it again -- wear helmets!

The Graduate

(PICTURE: JR and I at Hoa Lu, following the wedding.)

Do you ever have a moment where you feel like you're doing something right out of a movie? Well, that's sort of how I felt after right after the wedding. You see, after the party was finished, I was running back and forth between the two buses making sure the right people and right luggage were where they were supposed to be. Some of my entourage were going back to Hanoi (Barry, Donna, Mark) and others who had just arrived were joining our "honeymoon" trip (JR, Lilly, George and the Salter parents).

As soon as everything was sorted, I ran back into Huyen's house to use the toilet. Everyone there was already cleaning up and a little surprised to see me run in. After using the bathroom, I gave everyone a hug and then yelled in Vietnamese, "Goodbye Mom" to Huyen's mother. Everyone laughed as I sprinted back out of the house and down the alley. I then waved goodbye to lots of kids and jumped on the bus. As soon as I was on I told the bus drive to go and he turned on the engine and drove away. I think sat down in a chair next to Huyen (who had taken off her wedding dress) and let out a huge deep breath -- the wedding was over. As I was sitting there though, this movie feeling came over me and there was something very "The Graduate" about it. Granted it was completely different circumstances than the movie but we were departing a wedding on a bus. There was something very cool about it as you always picture people departing their wedding in a limo.

Anyway, the bus was headed south to Hoa Lu, the ancient capital of Vietnam. This was part one of our "honeymoon."


(PICTURE: Hannah in front of the entrance to Hoa Lu.)

(PICTURE: JR, Hannah and Dana at Hoa Lu.)

My brother-in-law's essay

Here's a short essay by Su, my brother-in-law, about the wedding:

Despite having to travel quite a lot but I am still very happy. At night before Ben's wedding we and everyone had a wonderful evening. Ben' family members who are very interested in dancing and his sister sang very well. His friends is very friendly they are good dancer and singer. At wedding, I was very busy that day. I have lot of thing to do. I and my friends drived motorbike a lot of time on the way to bring something for wedding and we started lunch very late. Ben's parents gave me a gift, It's a cap in Ben's high school.