Broken Door

As I mentioned the other day, immediately after checking in to our guesthouse on the first day in Quan Lan, we had to go to the Army office to be extorted. Huyen and I basically threw our stuff down in our room and headed out. After being extorted, we headed out to explore the island and didn't return to our guest house until the early evening.

When we got to the guest house we went straight upstairs to our room. I placed the key in the door, turned the key and quickly realized that something was wrong -- the door wouldn't open. I tried the door a couple more times but it wouldn't budge. Huyen went downstairs and got the landlady who also gave the door an unsuccessful try. She then hollered towards her husband to come fix the door. He gave it his best shot but alas, it wouldn't move an inch.

At this point I realized it was going to be a pain in the ass to open the door. It was by far one of the heavier, sturdier doors I have ever felt. I asked the landlady if we could go in the opposite room to wait. She agreed and let us in. After a few more moments I started to think how this situation could make for an entertaining blog so I whipped out my camera. After another twenty minutes or so it just became annoying. Finally a locksmith of sorts came and nailed the door handle with basically a sledge hammer and a screwdriver. The door finally opened but I could tell the problem wasn't really solved. I quickly grabbed our bags from the room and told the landlady we would switch to the room across the hall.

Well, I'm glad we switched rooms. The guest house ended up being full and later that night Huyen and I were woken up around 11Pm to loud bangs. Turns out the people who took that room got locked out. The locksmith had to be woken and basically broke the door.

My favorite part of this whole experience though was when Huyen overheard the male owner of the house (the man smiling at me at the end of the video) say in Vietnamese: "I told my wife not to let foreigners stay here." Somehow the lock breaking was my fault because foreigners apparently don't know how to open doors.

Quan Lan: The Good Side

(PICTURE: Some pretty shells on the beach.)

Over the last few days I've made a considerable effort to bad mouth Quan Lan Island. My goal has been to help dissuade potential visitors from going there. This may seem harsh but if I could save one person from being extorted by the Army, swindled by a guest house owner or robbed by the locals, I'll feel I've done a noble deed.

Now that said, there are obviously some good things about the island. For one, the beaches were nearly empty which made the island quite romantic. Secondly there were some good people on the island. Specifically, I really like these guys who invited me to play volleyball with them:

There were also some really cute kids. In fact, Huyen and I kept jokingly saying to these kids in English, "Please be nice to tourists when you grow up."

Quan Lan: Robbers

(PICTURE: Huyen standing in the doorway of our ATI beach bungalow.)

Before we went to Quan Lan, I read a review of ATI Resort from a foreigner who wrote about having all of his possessions stolen and the authorities/resort doing nothing to help him. Well, Huyen and I were booked to stay at this resort on our last night so I was extra paranoid about someone stealing our stuff and especially the ring! All day and night I carried a backpack with anything of value; there was no way I was gonna be robbed on the first night I met Huyen and then again on our engagement night!

After a long day at the beach and a celebratory dinner, Huyen and I went back to our bungalow around 8:30 PM. It was already pitch black near our place but we were able to see a man approaching us with a flashlight. The man, who was probably in his sixties, turned out to be a security guard. The guard walked from bungalow to bungalow checking up on things. I wish I had some pictures of the whole resort complex but I don't. Basically from the two farthest bungalows to each other was probably 150 meters. It was a long distance for one security guard to cover by himself. On top of that, the resort wasn't fenced in. Actually, during the day a bunch of locals and tourists strolled up around the bungalows while we were hanging out on the beach. In fact, a group of eight tourists hung out on our porch because they thought nobody was staying there. The point is, security wasn't so tight.

Well, sure enough, at 11PM Huyen woke me up because there was a lot of commotion outside. A whole bunch of Vietnamese tourists in the bungalow next to ours were looking for the security guard. Turns out someone robbed their bungalow and took off with all their stuff (which I'm assuming includes the very expensive cameras that they were taking photos with on the beach during the day).

In case I'm not doing a good job in helping you put two and two together -- this resort is clearly cased out by the locals and robbed on a regular basis. This was the cherry on top for why I will never go back to Quan Lan.

Quan Lan Island: Jellyfish

If the people and garbage doesn't dissuade you from going to Quan Lan, perhaps this will: The beaches are covered with jellyfish!

Actually, I should say, they are covered with the BIGGEST JELLYFISH I HAVE EVER SEEN! The good news is that supposedly the jellyfish don't sting. The bad news is that if you're scared of jellyfish (like me) they are really freaking scary.

The locals aren't scared of the jellyfish at all though. In fact, Huyen and I watched as a bunch of local boys picked up jellyfish from the beach and threw them on each other. To be honest, with my affection for the locals combined with their abuse of marine life, I was hoping the jellyfish did sting when I witnessed them tossing the creatures at each other.

Quan Lan Island: Clean Beaches?

Not every Vietnamese person litters, but my goodness, too many do. Those who don't need to start taking it upon themselves to say something to those who do. Seriously, it pisses me off in Hanoi when people throw trash on the ground but it really really really pisses me off when people throw trash on the beach or in a park or forest. I have no doubt that Quan Lan had perfectly clean beaches a year ago before tourism started to pick up there. However, now there's trash everywhere.

It's vile how on every beach there's a line of garbage and debris that is washed up with the tide.

Check out this photo:



I've finally come to this conclusion: If you want clean beaches don't come to Vietnam. Thailand is a hop, skip and jump from here and the beaches there are exponentially cleaner. Come to Vietnam for the culture and the food and the people (except the ones who litter) -- not for clean beaches. I'm officially done with Vietnamese beaches.

Quan Lan Island, Vietnam

(PICTURE: Don't let this nice picture deceive you...read below.)

For about a year, I had heard from many foreigners how great Quan Lan Island was. Quan Lan is a small island on the outskirts of Halong Bay which supposedly has the cleanest beaches in all of Vietnam. I had been aching to get there for a long time and thought, from what I had been told, that it was the perfect scenic place to propose to Huyen.

Well, reason #18,552 that I know Huyen and I are a perfect match is that we were able to have such a great time on the island which, having now been there, I can claim is THE WORST PLACE IN ALL OF VIETNAM!

Here's reason #1 that you should never go to Quan Lan Island: The people suck. Yes, all of the people. Every single person we met there was trying to scam us. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration -- 90% of everyone we met was dishonest. Here's a little anecdote:

On the bus ride from Hanoi to the port of departure to Quan Lan, Huyen overheard a girl talking on the phone about Quan Lan. Huyen struck up a conversation with this girl who told us that she worked for the government in Quan Lan. Huyen and I had left on Thursday night so that we could take the first boat to the island in the morning. We didn't have a place to stay so the girl said we should stay at her friend's guesthouse by the port. The guesthouse was a SHITHOLE and cost us probably twice what it should have.


(PICTURE: Don't be deceived -- this room had no hot water, no mosquito net, no towels, a light that wouldn't turn off all night and I'm pretty sure bed bugs.)

We arrainged to meet the girl the next morning to take the boat together. The girl was twenty five minutes late and eventually showed up without an apology. Despite her tardiness, I bought her breakfast. She didn't say thanks. The girl then told us that it was going to cost 100,000 VND to take the boat. Despite her thanklessness a minute earlier, I gave her 300,000 VND. Again, she didn't say thank you. Oh, and the boat tickets were stamped with a price of 80,000 VND (but in her defense, I think they were just old tickets).

When we got to the island, the fun really started. As soon as we got off the boat I saw two Army Officers. One of the guys locked eyes with me -- the only foreigner on the boat -- and darted towards me. He started to say something which amounted to me having to register and pay a "fee" for being on the island. The place to register was at the end of the dock. Huyen, the local government girl and I got into a tuk-tuk and told the officers we would stop at the office to register. The second Army guy came over and reiterated what the first guy had said. The local girl told us that she knew both guys. Wellllll, the tuk-tuk driver decided it wasn't important for me to register so he blew by the army office. The local girl said it was no problem and took us to her Aunt's guest house to stay (her Aunt later tried to scam us on the agreed upon price).

About thirty minutes after dropping off our bags, the local girl called Huyen. She said that the Army officers were really pissed off at us and that we'd have to pay a fine -- on top of the fee -- for not registering. She asked us to go back to the dock and talk to the army guys. Oh, and then she aid that in her haste to go talk to the army people she ran out of gas and asked us to pick her up some (I should say now that gas on this island is quite expensive since they have to bring it all by boat). Well, Huyen and I bought some gas for the girl, rented a motorbike for the day and headed back to the dock. As we drove we kept wondering how close to the dock the girl would be with her gas-less motorbike. Turns out she was at the dock already. Staying true to her character, she took the gas WITHOUT A THANKS!

Anyway, we now had to talk with the Army guys who, long story short, said they'd only charge me the fee and not the fine. What nice guys, huh? The fee only cost me 200,000 VND or roughly 200,000 VND more than I've ever had to pay to visit anywhere in Vietnam. The officers couldn't have been friendlier once I paid them the money. Gotta love corruption.

This was all within the first hour of being on the island. It wasn't an anomaly though -- people on this island just couldn't be trusted. So, if you're a random web surfer who just googled "Quan La" and came upon my blog, take my advice and don't. If this post isn't enough of a reason to persuade you, check back in tomorrow for another reason.

And random readers, if you decide to ignore my warning at least listen to this: If you see the girl next to Huyen in the picture below, don't trust her, her family or anyone she works with.

The Ring

(PICTURE: Ring shopping with Chi!)

The first time I knew I might marry Huyen was a long long time ago. It was actually within the first few months of us dating. I remember distinctly that we were walking around Hoam Kiem lake and I asked her some cultural question about marriage. I asked if Vietnamese men gave engagement rings and she said yes. I asked how much they spent on them and she said like 2,000,000 VND...which is just over $100. Coming from Los Angeles where women wore diamond rings worth more than the car I drove, this was, music to my ears!

Sooooooooo about two months ago I decided I was gonna pop the big question on our anniversary. I asked Huyen's sister if she could help me ring shop but unfortunately she was too busy (she literally works as an accountant for four different companies on top of being a mom). My back up ring shopper was my good friend Chi. Chi was really excited to help me out and within two hours of sending her my initial text asking if she could give me an assist, we were in our first jewelry shop. I felt quite confident shopping with Chi even though she freely admitted she knew as much as I did about getting engagement rings.

Chi and I went to a few jewelry shops and saw some rings that we liked. We ended up at a very nice shop that had diamond rings. Here's one thing that makes sense but hadn't really crossed my mind: Diamonds are the same price in Vietnam and America. I thought about getting Huyen a diamond for about ten minutes...until I called Huyen's sister. Huyen's sister gave me the best advice I've ever gotten, "Get a cheap ring!"

This was all the encouragement I needed to end any thoughts of emptying my Vietnamese bank account. Chi and I went back to a shop where we had spotted a nice ring earlier in the day and made the purchase. The ring has a white gold band with a small mounted stone on it. I have no idea what kind of stone it is but from a few feet away it actually looks like a diamond!

(PICTURE: That smile on my face was for the very real prospect of getting married...while still having the majority of my previous two months salary in my wallet.)

I told Huyen that when we move to the states I'll get her a diamond ring if she wants one. Huyen smiled at this but said she isn't gonna want one...

...and that's why I will point to this blog a few years from now when she comes back from brunch with all of her LA girlfriends and says, "I want a diamond ring..."