Breaking The Glass

My sister shot this video with her digital camera. It gives a good sense of the crowd but not a great sense of the audio levels. Anyway, I'm really just posting it to show how badly I kicked the crap out of the glass!

The Wedding

(PICTURE: Huyen's dad giving a speech at the wedding.)

It's finally here -- The Wedding Blog!

First off, let me apologize because I don't have too many pictures. We haven't picked up our pictures yet from the photographer and my unofficial photographer Sebastian is still traveling and hasn't sent me pictures yet. I've had a few shots trickle in but will eventually post a boat load. Soooo....

After being fifteen minutes late, I was quickly escorted down the alley into Huyen's house. As soon as I walked into the house I was struck by the sheer number of people there. There must have been about two hundred people in the small space in front of Huyen's house. That space was also about to get a lot smaller since another 70 people were coming behind me in the alley. I was quickly escorted upstairs to the one room in the house. Everyone was waving at me and shaking my hand as I made my way into the "bridal suite." As soon as I walked in, I saw Huyen who looked absolutely beautiful. I told Huyen that she looked gorgeous and she replied, "I think I look stupid." You see, she was wearing make-up which she never wears. I assured her that despite the make-up she was stunning. I then made a comment though that was something like this: "Um, why are you wearing a fur shawl?" I had seen Huyen in her wedding dress before and there was never a fur shall included. Huyen quickly explained that the tailoring on the dress wasn't perfect and she was scared the dress would slip down. The shall was a safety precaution. I'm not a fan of fur (and I doubt it was real) but this seemed like a good excuse. I'm pretty sure the wedding wouldn't have been quite as great if Huyen exposed herself to a few hundred people. Anyway, lesson learned: Maybe there is something to trying on a dress more than one day before the big day.

After spending a few minutes with Huyen, her breast-feeding sister and a score of other people who kept popping to the room, we were told we had to go downstairs to begin the wedding. Huyen and I made our way down to the first floor and headed to the front area where the ceremony was going to be held. Let me tell you, this was easier said then done. There were so many people crammed into a small space that Huyen and I couldn't walk side by side. In fact, it was tough to just walk through the crowd. I found myself slightly pushing through people in order to get married.

(PICTURE: The wedding aisle.)

When we got to the front we were joined by our two MCs and our parents. The MCs were my friends Tu and Quynh. I'll write a blog about them soon. The ceremony began and included the following:

(PICTURE: Putting the ring on.)

1. The ring exchange between Huyen and me. Unlike in western weddings, this happened right off the bat. Also right off the bat, Huyen started to cry. The moment we slipped rings on each other was very special and something that we'll remember forever. I'll also remember going in for a peck and getting Huyen's cheek. Huyen and I had briefly discussed our "first kiss." Huyen said she wasn't sure she wanted to kiss in front of everyone. I said, okay, I'll just peck you. Well, that didn't happen either as I gave her a big nose to the cheek. Literally, this is my wedding kiss:

(PICTURE: I didn't want to kiss a girl with a fur shall anyway.)

2. Speeches. Huyen's father and my parents each gave a speech which was translated by the MCs. Here's a copy of my parents' speech in both English and Vietnamese:

We'd like to wish a Mazel Tov to Huyen and Ben on finding each other and as we say in America, tying the knot. When Ben left home 2 1/2 years ago, we expected him back in a year but something stronger than the love for his parents kept him here - his love for Huyen.

Trước tiên chúng tôi xin được nói: Mazel Tov (có nghĩa là chúc mừng) tới Huyền và Ben đã gặp được nhau và giờ đây, họ được kết duyên tơ hồng. Khi Ben rời Mỹ 2 năm rưỡi về trước, chúng tôi đã mong muốn rằng Ben sẽ quay trở về Mỹ 1 năm sau đó, nhưng đã có 1 điều gì đó mãnh liệt hơn tình yêu của Ben dành cho bậc làm cha làm mẹ chúng tôi, và đó chính là tình Yêu Ben dành cho Huyền.

The Ngyen family has opened up their hearts and home to make Ben feel a part of their family from early on. We look forward to Huyen and Ben coming the the US and we want to assure all of you that Huyen will be welcomed into our family with open arms since we know that parents round the world always worry about their children.

Chúng tôi cũng muốn thể hiện lòng biết ơn tới gia đình Nguyễn đã giang rộng cánh tay và bằng cả trái tim họ đón nhận Ben như một thành viên trong gia đình. Chúng tôi vô cùng hạnh phúc và luôn giang rộng cánh tay đón Huyền trở thành 1 thành viên mới trong gia đình nhà August chúng tôi.

We see all the hard work that Huyen's family has put into readying their new home and preparing for so many people at their wedding and we truly thank you. We hope that one day you will travel to America so we can return the hospitality.

Hơn nữa, chúng tôi vô cùng cảm kích với tất cả những gì gia đình họ nhà gái đã làm để chuẩn bị chu đáo cho đám cưới ngày hôm nay, chúng tôi xin gửi lời cảm ơn chân thành đến gia đình họ nhà gái và mong rằng sẽ có ngày chúng tôi có thể trả được ơn này.

At home, we have 3 generations waiting to meet Huyen. Grandma Cele who just had her 94th birthday, Nanny at 91, Zev - Ben's big brother, Kathy his sister in law, and their daughter,Ben's niece Lilah who thinks Huyen and Ben live inside the computer. We wish everyone could have come to be here today and we plan another celebration when you arrive in New Jersey.

Chúng tôi xin giới thiệu về đại gia đình August của Ben ở Mỹ rất mong chờ được gặp Huyền: Bà ngoại Cele đã bước sang 94 tuổi, bà nội 91 tuổi, anh trai cả của Ben: anh Zev, chị dâu Kathy và cháu gái Lilah của Ben.

Cuối cùng, chúng tôi xin gửi lời cảm ơn chân thành đến toàn thể các quý vị khách quý đã dành thời gian để đến tham gia lễ cưới của 2 con chúng tôi ngày hôm nay. Chúng tôi mong rằng một ngày quý vị có thể tham dự lễ cưới của Huyền và Ben ơ quê hương của chúng tôi: New Jersey, Mỹ.

We know that you two are so in love and see how happy you are together and we pray that this continues for a long and healthy marriage with many happy celebrations and generations. L"CHAYIM "TO LIFE"

Chúng tôi xin có 1 vài lời rành riêng cho Huyền và Ben: Bố mẹ biết rằng các con rất hạnh phúc bên nhau, và bố mẹ mong rằng tình yêu các con dành cho nhau sẽ là mãi mãi, chúc các con luôn hạnh phúc.

I thought it was a pretty great speech by my parents. Many of my students have commented to me since that my parents said very sweet words.

3. After the speech, as per Vietnamese custom, different family members from both sides put gold jewelry on Huyen and me. Huyen's mother, aunt and two sisters all gave her and me gold rings. Then my mother, sister and aunt all put gold jewelry on Huyen. This moment ended up being quite comical as the gold rings they tried to put on me didn't even come close to fitting my fingers below the second knuckle.

4. My family took out my Bar Mitzvah kiddush cup and said the Jewish prayer for wine. Then, for maybe only the second time in my life, I saw my father sip wine. This wasn't no Kedem though; this was hard core home made rice wine. Needless to say, my father had quite a grimace on his face and I believe coughed once or twice like a pissed off dragon.

5. Also in accordance to Jewish wedding tradition, I broke a cup with my foot. The MCs explained to the crowd that the tradition's meaning is that our marriage will last as long as the pieces of glass are never put back together perfectly. They then told everyone that once I broke the glass they had to yell, "Mazel Tov." They had everyone practice twice and then it was time for some glass smashing. My parents had brought a special glass from home which I totally stomped the crap out of. As soon as the glass was broken about three hundred people yelled, "Mazel Tov." If anything, it as this moment that will stick in my mind forever. In my wildest dreams I never pictures a village of Vietnamese yelling anything in Hebrew in unison.

(PICTURE: Those aren't water bottles; they're filled with home brewed rice wine.)

After the ceremony, Huyen and I went from table to table thanking everyone for coming. Part of this tradition is that the bride and groom are supposed to have a drink with everyone. Well, I tried to do that but it lasted about five tables. I hadn't eaten yet so the powerful rice wine was going right to my head. I decided that I'd fake drink for the rest of the morning until I got something to eat...which never happened.

(PICTURE: My students singing to us.)

Once all the eating was done (except for Huyen and I), the singing began. We had some great performances including a couple of songs by my students. This was only topped by my family singing the Beatles, "When I'm Sixty Four."

Overall, the wedding was an awesome experience. It didn't come close to matching the party atmosphere of the an hoi but it had a very special feeling from start to finish. My friend Long made a comment to me during the wedding that it was the most stadium like atmosphere of any wedding he had ever been to. There were pump-up-the-crowd theme songs when people walked into the wedding, tons of cheers and chants and great joy all around as if a team had just won the championship.

People keep asking me how the wedding was and all I can really say is that it was an experience -- one that I think nobody who was there will ever forget.

My Jewish Hats

(PICTURE: My dad and me wearing Jewish hats.)

In case it wasn't 1,000% apparent, Huyen isn't Jewish. This fact struck home in a comical way right before we got married. You see, before my parents flew to Vietnam they had asked me if I wanted to wear my bar mitzvah kippah at the wedding. When they asked me this, I was sort of taken aback since I hadn't even thought about wearing a kippah. I think I told them I'd think about it. Well, right before we were to walk into the wedding, I said to my parents, "Did you bring the kippah?" They had in fact brought about ten. All of my wedding guests (the ones who were on my bus -- Jews and non Jews) put the kippahs on. I thought that I should give Huyen a heads up (no pun intended) about our skullcaps and wrote her a text message. The text message said this, "We're wearing our Jewish hats." I wrote this because clearly Huyen would have no idea what I was talking about if I wrote, "We're wearing kippahs." I smiled as I hit send and then turned to Hannah and said, "You know that you're marrying a non Jew when you have to call a kippah Jewish hats in a text message."

The kippah ended up being a big hit. In fact, some of the wedding guests from the other bus asked me if they could wear one too. Unfortunately though we didn't have enough to go around. Then at the actual wedding, all the Vietnamese were extremely perplexed by the kippahs. Clealry they had never seen any before. Everyone kept asking me what they were. In the weeks since the wedding, many people have written comments on Facebook that have asked, "What is on Ben's head?"

Looking back, I'm really glad that I wore the keepah. It definitely helped bring a traditional Jewish element to this very non traditional Jewish wedding. But as you'll see soon, that was just one Jewish part of the wedding...

Late For My Own Wedding

(PICTURE: One of our pink buses for the wedding.)

Despite waking up at 5AM, I was somehow late for my own wedding. Yes, it's true. The guy whose first post on Ahoy Hanoi was about punctuality was late for his wedding. Well, as bad as that sounds, it wasn't my fault. A few points:

1. Everyone was ready on time for the bus. The bus just wasn't ready for us.
2. The night before the wedding, Huyen had said that we should all show up at 10:30AM rather than 10AM as originally planned. Yes, I'm partly blaming my wife for my tardiness. Technically we were on time for the 10:30AM scheduled start but about fifteen minutes late for the 10AM one.

Right around 10AM, I started to get calls on my phone asking where I/my group of 20+ were. I told them that we were on our way but the calls/texts seemed to be getting more frantic by the minute. Meanwhile, at the same time that we were making our way to the wedding, the bus I hired to pick up all the guests in Hanoi was also on its way. This bus had started at 8AM and was being managed by three of my students who we had designated as bus captains.

When my bus arrived at 10:15, the other bus still hadn't come. Hang came out to our bus and said, "Okay we have to start now." I quickly protested saying that we couldn't begin until the other bus arrived since there were many guests on that bus who wanted to see the wedding including six who had flow in from abroad the day before. Luckily I didn't have to protest too long because the bus pulled up about a minute later. I quickly ran over to the other bus and greeted everyone as they debarked. It was awesome seeing so many of friends and students who I greeted with hugs. Even cooler was seeing my buddy JR and my friend Lily and her family who I hadn't seen in quite a long time. Hugs and welcome words were exchanged before I was nearly yelled at to get inside to the wedding.

So yes, technically I was late for my own wedding.

At least announce my wedding if you're going to wake me up!

(PICTURE: The view from the hotel. What you can't see are the megaphones slightly below the balcony.)

After going to bed somewhere in the ballpark of 1AM, I was looking forward to sleeping a little bit late. You know, like to 7:30 or 8. However, the local radio station didn't get that memo. At 5AM, the Phu Ly announcements started to BLARE from a telephone pole right outside my window. As I've written in the past, whenever you go out to the countryside/small towns, they have morning announcements that start around sunrise. Apparently, like many members of my wedding party, I don't read my blog. I mean, if I had, I would surely have taken a room that wasn't two feet away from the loudspeaker outside the window. I'm not sure why I didn't record the audio of the announcement because I can't really put into words just how loud it was. After god knows how long I finally blurted out, "Are you serious?". This immediately got a good chuckle from my sister who was trying to sleep in the bed next to me. I forget what was said next, but I was definitely thinking that I hoped they were at least announcing my wedding.

After realizing that there was no way we were gonna be able to go back to sleep, Hannah and I got up and explored the city for some breakfast. It didn't take too much walking before we found an alley with a whole bunch of street food options. My sister and I sat down at the first "restaurant" and got some kind of noodle dish that I'd never seen before. Yeah, eating a dish you've never seen before isn't usually a good idea before your wedding but heck, how could I not try it? Thankfully, the food sat well.

Around 7:30AM, Hannah and I returned to the hotel. I had a weird feeling in my body that was a mix of absolute exhaustion (at this point I hadn't had more than five hours sleep in over a week) and excitement to get married. While I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom, I decided to play a little joke. I walked out into the bedroom in a seemingly total daze and said to my sister, "I can't do it." We both started to crack up. Clearly we were over tired.

Late Night Pool

(PICTURE: My Uncle Barry and Aunt Donna on Huyen's roof during the an hoi.)

If I had even one ounce of smarts in me, I would have gone straight to bed after the an hoi. However, for some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to make use of the billiards hall in our hotel. I mean, how many times in life can you play pool with relatives and friends in a Vietnamese pool hall the night before your wedding? Seriously, how could I not play?

A handful of people decided to join me for some late night pool. I quickly taught everyone the Vietnamese pool game that involves cards. We started playing and failed to impress any of the Vietnamese who were in the hall and equally shocked to see foreigners there and to see how terrible we were at playing pool. The only person with any legitimate skill was my Uncle Barry. Barry has a pool table at his house which gave him a slight advantage. After a little while, most of my friends went to bed (which I should have) and only Barry, Justin and I remained in the pool hall. It was great getting to spend some alone time with my uncle and cousin as we shot pool and chewed the fat about Vietnam. Barry, like my parents, was draft age during the Vietnam War. Like my father when he first visited, I think Barry was struck by how open and friendly the Vietnamese were despite the still fresh history between our countries. We ended up having a pretty philosophical discussion which lasted past midnight.

The game/discussion finally ended when I sank my final ball. I'm pretty sure my uncle let me win since I was getting married in a few hours and he didn't want me to start the day on the wrong foot.

* Two notes: 1. Earlier in the day my uncle basically said this to me: "You know, my whole life I've had a hard time understanding what you said because you always talked really fast. However, since you moved to Vietnam you're really easy to understand." My uncle meant this and I took this as a compliment since English teaching has made my pronunciating much better than in the past.

Ain't Nobody In Here But Us Chickens

(PICTURE: Mark and the chicken cleaning crew.)

One of my favorite Broadway Musicals ever was a show called "Five Guys Named Moe" based around the music of Louis Jordan. One of the hits that always brings a smile to my face is the song, "Ain't Nobody In Here But Us Chickens." Here's the chorus:

There ain't nobody here but us chickens
There ain't nobody here at all
So calm yourself,
And stop your fuss
There ain't nobody here but us
We chickens tryin' to sleep,
And you butt in
And hobble, hobble hobble hobble
With your chin

There ain't nobody here but us chickens
There ain't nobody here at all
You're stompin' around
And shakin' the ground,
You're kickin' up an awful dust
We chicken's tryin' to sleep
And you butt in
And hobble, hobble hobble hobble
It's a sin

So what does this have to do with my wedding? Well, during the an hoi celebration, there was a little commotion that got everyone's attention. Behind the karaoke/stage were a group of women who were preparing the chickens for the wedding the next morning. In true Vietnamese style, preparing included killing, bleeding out, boiling and plucking more than thirty chickens. Once it became known what was going on behind the curtain (Yes, I kept thinking of the Wizard of Oz's line, "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.") every one of my guests found it necessary to take a look and snap off some pictures. At first the locals were into everyone taking pictures but after a while they just wanted to do their job without the paparazzi going crazy for chicken plucking photos.

At some point, Mark Morgan volunteered himself to help the crew with their job. He threw back his tie, grabbed a stool and started to pluck away. Mark took the saying "get your hands dirty" to a whole new level as he still had blood on his hands the next morning. Apparently it wouldn't come out with soap.

Every time I think about these scenes at the an hoi, "Ain't Nobody In Here But Us Chickens" keeps coming into my head. Fittingly the last lines of the song are these:

It's easy pickens,
Ain't nobody here but us chickens

(PICTURE: My favorite thing about this photo is Mark's tie.)