Masters Of War

Many people always ask me why I chose to come to Vietnam. In fact, twice this week I've been asked that question. I've written a few times about my lifelong interest in Vietnam which all stemmed from the Vietnam War. Growing up in America it was impossible not to see, to read and to hear about Vietnam.

I've written a blog about how "The Wonder Years" was my favorite show and how it often had Vietnam content. I've written blogs about books I've loved that were written about Vietnam -- especially books by Tim O'Brien. Well, yesterday I was listening to some Bob Dylan and had a good reminder that music about Vietnam has had its influence on me too. One of my favorite songs growing up was a Pearl Jam cover of "Masters of War" by Bob Dylan. In fact, I think I put it on all of my mix tapes in middle school. Anyway, here's the lyrics to that song which I love so much:

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build all the bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks.

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly.

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain.

You fasten all the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion'
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud.

You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins.

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
That even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do.

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul.

And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand over your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead.

Huyen's Big Date!

"Who were you on the phone with," I asked.
"My friend from Thailand," Huyen said.
"Who's your friend from Thailand," I asked.
"The Ambassador," Huyen said.

Yup, Huyen is friends with the Ambassador of Thailand. In fact, she went to a Thai restaurant with him and his friends last night on what I like to refer to as "Huyen's big date."

Huyen works with a girl from Thailand and a few months ago went to a Thai party with her where she befriended seemingly every powerful Thai person in Hanoi.

I'm not sure what the point of this blog is except to say that I'm clearly jealous I have never been invited to dinner with an Ambassador.

Banh Chung

Banh Chung is to Tet as Turkey is to Thanksgiving. Around Tet, one starts to notice green squares all over the city. Inside these green squares is Banh Chunh, rice filled with pork and green bean paste. I'm pretty sure it is a fact that every single person in Vietnam -- minus potential allergies -- eats Banh Chung during the lunar New Year. Like turkey though, families usually have an excess of this traditional holiday food. This means that one ends up eating Banh Chung at every meal during and after Tet. Like turkey, people find creative ways to prepare Bang Chunh so it doesn't feel like you've eaten it every time you've opened your mouth. My personal favorite way of eating Banh Chung is having it friend. Steamed Banh Chung isn't so bad either.

When I returned to Vietnam, I told Huyen that I was oddly craving Banh Chung. It had been a long time since I had any and for some reason my taste buds were desiring some. Many times on the street before Tet I saw Banh Chung and had the will power to not buy it. It was a good move on my part. I'm pretty sure if I ate any Banh Chunh prior to Tet, I literally wouldn't have been able to stomach eating it for roughly 13 out of 15 meals.

The Lunar Calendar

This year I noticed something that I didn't last year -- Vietnamese have two calendars in their heads. I always knew that in Vietnam the lunar calendar was important but I didn't realize people actually always knew what day it was on both calendars. Maybe this just happens around Tet but I kept hearing people say, "Today is the X" when it was clearly Y. Finally I saw a calendar on a wall and noticed that both Western and lunar dates were on it. I've seen these calendars many times but never before noticed the dual dates:

(PICTURE: The big date is for the Western calendar and the small date is for the lunar calendar.)

I'm a monkey?!

(PICTURE: Huyen's sister eating a stick of sugarcane.)

I hope I can do this blog entry justice because it was definitely a "had to be there" moment. Well, here goes:

I was standing downstairs at Huyen's house when her mom walked up to me and curiously grabbed some strands of my chest hair that was showing under my v-neck shirt. This alone would be funny to me but sadly it has happened a few times to me in Vietnam. What happened next though was classic: Huyen's mom turned to Huyen and Huyen's sister and said something in Vietnamese. Both girls started laughing and then Huyen said, "My mom says you're like a monkey." Naturally I started to laugh but also defended myself by saying, "I'm a monkey? Look at Hoai! She's crouching on the ground, chewing on a stick. She's a monkey." Hoai, Huyen's sister, was at that very moment in the "Vietnamese crouch" chewing on sugarcane (see the picture above). Then it seemed like a chorus of Nguyens yelling out, "No you're a monkey!" I again defended myself by pointing the finger: "I'm a monkey? Your father climbed a tree to fetch fruit the other day! He's a monkey."

Yes, this was the most childish argument I've had since probably elementary school. Forgetting the clearly racist undertones of the conversation, it's just funny to me that Huyen's mother thinks her daughter is dating a less evolved primate.

Ban Lam Gi?

Ban Lam Gi translates to, "You do what?". In Vietnam, this is the question people ask one another to find out what someone's job is. However, when I hear this sentence it always makes me think of those Holiday Inn commercials in which people can do feats that are usually out of their comfort/training zone because they've had a good night's sleep.

Often in Vietnam (and the rest of the world) I think that people have this -- what should I call it -- well-rested self brilliance. Recently during a rough couple of days with my stomach, I started taking a strong antibiotic to kill any bacteria. A Vietnamese guy I know wanted me to drink alcohol with him and I said, "I don't want to drink. I'm taking medicine." The guy then asked to see the medicine so I showed it to him. He looked it over and said, "This medicine will make you tired. You should take another one." I wanted to ask him, "Ban Lam Gi?" but I already knew the answer -- he's an accountant. Shortly after giving me this medical advice he once again tried to get me to drink with him. Some doctor.

In my head "Ban Lam Gi" can be expanded to other things besides jobs. For example, when a guy literally reeking of cigarettes, starts to explain to me how to be healthier, I want to ask "Ban Lam Gi?!".

I have no doubt that some people think I'm a know-it-all too sometimes. In fact, I often feel like a know-it-all; I think that comes naturally with writing a blog for so long. So for now on if you think I have no idea what I'm talking about, please leave a comment, "Ban Lam Gi?".

Big Goofy White Guy II

(PICTURE: Oddly, dressing up like this is the best way not to feel goofy.)

You know that experience you have when you hear your voice on a recording? We all always think, "Do I really sounds like that?!" How we hear ourselves and how others hear us are never the same. This is exponentially true for video.

In 2000, seven friends and I lived in an apartment in Bayswater, London while participating in the Syracuse University study abroad program. During our months abroad we did lots of traveling in England and to other European countries. While I was snapping away pictures on a disposable camera, my buddy Alex was filming with his camcorder. He recently found all the footage and edited it all into an amazing thirty minute piece. While watching the footage I often found myself cringing at just how stupid I looked and acted ten years ago.

However, that was nothing compared to how stupid I looked on Huyen's sister's wedding video from just five months ago! Over Tet we watched the video and I truly am a big goofy white guy. In nearly ever shot that I'm in, whether it be in the foreground or background, I stand out like a giant. I can make a billion analogies but I truly look like Shaq reading to kindergartners. Well, you know, if Shaq was white and all the kindergartners were Vietnamese.

Watching with Huyen's family only reinforces how I feel about watching myself. Anytime I'm on the screen everyone immediately starts hysterically laughing as if I had just told a joke, rather than just sanding still. To make matters even worse, Huyen's sister Huong said to me, "You were more handsome then than now." Besides the fact that I've become uglier in five months, that also must mean I've become even goofier! Thank goodness nobody was videotaping during Tet.