Toothpaste

87% of all the amenities you can find in the United States you can find in Hanoi. One thing that I've had a hard time finding though is proper toothpaste. All the toothpaste here -- from the few words I can understand on the box -- doesn't have the key words I like to see on my toothpaste: Flouride, tartar control, baking soda, something that fights gum disease, etc.

The only thing that nearly every toothpaste has is whitening elements. This is the one thing I've always stayed away from in toothpastes in America. I have this irrational fear that my teeth will become blindingly white after using whitening toothpaste.

Twice I've had visitors bring me toothpaste when they've come to town. However, I've officially run out of Ben-acceptable toothpaste and had to go buy new toothpaste yesterday. I bought this box which I guessed seemed good:

Turns out the toothpaste is green tea flavored. Let me just say it doesn't exactly leave you feeling like you have fresh breath.

My First Street Shave

When I traveled with Hannah I didn't pack a razor. I shaved the day I left Hanoi and figured I'd just let my face run wild for a month. By "run wild" I of course mean, grow a little incomplete beard. I just really started growing significant facial hair a few years ago and generally only shave once ever three weeks or so. In fact, last year I basically shaved only for weddings. I had thirteen weddings so there was generally never more than a month I went without shaving. I'd usually show up at the rehearsal dinner with a thick five o'clock shadow and then go with the baby face look the next day at the wedding.

Anyway, after not shaving on my trip I decided it was a good time to try my first street shave. Huyen asked the barber if he changed his razors after each shave and indeed he did. In fact, he needed TWO razors to shave my face. He told Huyen he had never used two razors on anyone before. Apparently I have the thickest beard in Vietnam.

We showed up around dusk and the shave ended up taking about twenty minutes. There was still light when we started but by the end the barber was wearing a head light.

I can honestly say this was the best shave I've ever had. It was so good that I went back three weeks later and had him give me another shave AND a haircut.

Something You Won't See In America

Here's something you'll never see in America:

In case you're confused as to what this is, it's a wall poster advertising MSG. Oh yeah, the poster was in a restaurant.

For those of you who don't know what MSG is -- besides that it is often on Chinese Restaurant menus advertising that they don't use it -- click here: MSG.

A friend of mine who recently left Hanoi and was working for the CDC explained to me one day that MSG has gotten a bad rap in the states. She says that no scientific study has been done that proves it has harmful affects (I think tobacco companies sometimes say that about cigarettes too) and that many products we eat in America have nearly the same chemical in them.

Anyway, this isn't about debating the pros and cons of MSG. It's merely about the hilarity of the poster. Perhaps if my family ate more MSG we would have run around very green parks and handed each other four leaf clovers more often.

Water Heater

(PICTURE: The mechanic adjusting the water pressure in my bathroom while using a "Vietnamese ladder".)


For the last couple of months the water heater in my bathroom has been dripping water. This wouldn't be a big problem if the water heater wasn't installed above my toilet. Whenever I've happened to be sitting on the toilet -- those who know me well know that is where I like to read -- I've been constantly surprised by an occasional drop of water falling on my tush. Sometimes this feels good...and sometimes it burns.

A couple of weeks ago our garage opening door (http://ahoyhanoi.blogspot.com/2008/09/no-more-ninjas.html) was slightly malfunctioning. The house mechanic came over to fix the door and since he was here we asked him to look at my water heater. I've been trying to think of the expression in English when we turn a small problem into a big problem. I think it's something like, "polishing a window with a hammer" but I know that's not it. Well, whatever the expression is, it would apply here. Here's basically the summary of the fixing of my water heater:
STEP 1: The mechanic switched my water heater with the one on the second floor after determining he couldn't fix it.
STEP 2: The newly installed water heater began to leak worse than my first one. The floor flooded about a half inch in my bathroom.
STEP 3: The mechanic brought back my old water heater and switched it out with the other one in my bathroom. He took that one home to fix.
STEP 4: The water heater he supposedly fixed began to leak worse than ever.
STEP 5: The mechanic took both my water heater and the extra one home to fix leaving me to shower in Ryan's bathroom (luckily he was away in Malaysia).
STEP 6: The mechanic brought back both water heaters and re-installed them.
STEP 7: The one on the second floor is working fine but the one in my bathroom is dripping boiling water excessively.

Again, I don't know what the expression is but Huyen says they have one in Vietnamese. She told me -- and clearly this doesn't work translated -- that, "It is like fixing a small pig with a big pig with a broken leg."

Well, the mechanic is coming over this morning to swap out the water heater again. I'm starting to get the hunch though that perhaps he's the problem. Not only has he made my water heater worse but the mechanical garage door is malfunctioning again!

Roller Skating

Huyen and I went to a local park to go roller skating. The roller skates were clearly from the 1970s and hadn't had maintenance since at least then. The thing that I found oddest about the skates is the rink had not replaced the shoe laces when they had ripped. Everyone was skating around with only the bottom part of the skate laced up. Anyone who has ever played hockey knows that the most important part of the skate is the ankle. If the ankle isn't tight your foot will flop around and cause you to be unstable. I think it was because of this that only about two people in the whole rink didn't look like they were drunk while skating.

My father always jokes with me that if he had started me playing hockey earlier in my life "[I] could have been something." Well, if Huyen and I get married and I have kids I'm pretty sure hockey won't be their sport if they get their mother's skating gene. Trust me, this video is hilarious:

Moving On Up...

(Huyen behind her "moving truck.")

Now that Huyen's no longer a starving student and has a solid 9-5 job (really 8-5 in Vietnam with a two hour siesta) she and her roommate Linh decided to upgrade their apartment. If you'd like a tour of Huyen's old apartment you can click here:

http://ahoyhanoi.blogspot.com/2008/07/tour-of-huyens-apartment.html

I was happy to help Huyen and her roommate move until Huyen broke two cardinal rules of asking someone to help them move:

Rule 1: She hadn't packed a thing when she told me to show up.

Rule 2: She didn't tell me her roommate would be at work and we'd have to pack her things too.

It only took us about an hour or so to pack everything and then it was a matter of getting it to her new place. In Vietnam you don't book a moving van unless you live in a large house. You also can't call up your unfortunate friend who happens to drive a pick-up truck. Instead you go out to the street and wave down a motorbike with a carriage attached to it.

When we finally arrived at Huyen's new apartment it took us less than ten minutes to unload all her stuff because we had the help of her's and her new roommate's friends. Oh yeah, that's right, she has a new roommate. Huyen now shares her studio/bed with Linh and her childhood friend Yen. She's upgraded her apartment but downgraded the percentage of the bed she sleeps in.

(PICTURE: Huyen with her new roommate Yen and Yen's friend who helped us move.)

Wrong Order

It seems only fitting that after my motorbike trip I should take my Vietnamese motorbike driving test. Or should it have been the other way around?

The other day I went to the Hanoi DMV for my official motorbike driving test. I felt like I was seventeen all over again. Huyen came with me to serve as my translator/cinematographer. The test included going around a figure eight, driving in a straight line, driving in a zig zag and then driving over bumps.

While waiting for my turn to go I saw two Vietnamese girls fail their test. I started to get a little nervous when they called Huyen's name over the loud speaker. Huyen ran out to the course and then quickly waved me over. I grabbed a helmet which:

a) everyone shared (there's no lice in 'Nam, right?)

b) had no strap to hold it on in case I/someone fell off the bike.

I passed the test with a score of 135. Apparently I lost fifteen points because my wheel touched the line of the figure eight at some point. Huyen told me this with a big smile since apparently she scored a perfect 150 when she took the test.