Friday, July 18, 2008

It's Official: I'm The Best!!!!!


That's right, confirming what most of us have assumed for twenty nine years, I'm officially THE BEST!

www.expat-blog.com -- the foremost authority on expat blogs on the web -- just named me Blog Of The Month. This is an Oscar, an Espy, a Grammy, an Emmy, A WGA award thing, and a swell pat on the back all wrapped into one. When I started blogging at the gate at JFK airport back on February 2nd, nobody thought this would ever be possible. We proved them wrong, didn't we?

There are a few people I'd like to thank for this award. Firstly, I couldn't have done it without you God. Thank you and god bless you, God. You're the man, God. For those of you who don't know, God has been talking to me directly about my blog over the last few months. He's a busy man between talking to George W. and the other things he does so I appreciate his candor and honesty whenever we get on the phone. Secondly, I've got to thank my parents. I remember when I was blogging on my Apple IIe as a pre-teen and my father said to me, "Son, nobody knows what blogging is right now but one day they'll know. And they'll know your name. But until then go cut the grass." And I remember when my mother said to me, "You should have a blog like Hannah's marathon blog." You were right, Ma. I'd also like to thank my brother and my sister for being so gracious over the years despite knowing that I was the best. I'd like to thank my friends for reading my blog...or at least pretending to. Yeah, especially you, Shronald! I'd like to thank Olivier at expat-blog of the month for his extreme wisdom in realizing the pure genius of www.ahoyhanoi.blogspot.com. I'd also like to thank Ryan for being there for me the last few months even when the blog entries weren't flowing. I'd like to thank Steve for leaving me his camera which has allowed the blog to be what it is. I'd like to thank the robbers who stole all my stuff, yeah you guys too, for being part of the story. I'd like to thank the guy across the street who never wears a shirt and always looks at me with crazy eyes when I leave my apartment. I'd also like to thank my literary managers who literally don't read my blog but have stuck with my script writing over the years. The Timberwolves, my LA ice hockey team. The Williams family. Grahame Fraser and his better half JC. My college friends' coworkers. The people in many nations who I've met along my journey. Man, I knew I'd forget some names so I wrote a few more people down. Hold on, hold on.... I'd also like to thank the man who serves ice tea on the street in the alley by my house who always yells at me, "Me Vietnam! Me Vietnam!" He's helped keep me rooted. I'd like to thank the cockroaches and the rats and the spiders and my landlord who spies on me. I'd also like to thank my students who have taught me as much as I've taught them. I'd also like to thank America for being you. And finally, since I hear the music playing, I'd like to thank Huyen. Huyen, without you this award couldn't be possible. This blog is as much about you as Hanoi. Sometimes ex-pats get sucked into an ex-pat community but spending time with you has allowed me to feel like I'm not actually just living in Korea Town in LA. So thank you.

I RULE!!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Tour Of Huyen's Apartment

Along the Pacific Coast Highway in California is a very famous tourist attraction called Hearst Castle. It was a house that belonged to William Randolph Hearst. The place is ridiculously large. Its so large that the castle offers four or five different tours of the place since you couldn't possibly see the whole estate in one visit. So, I thought in the spirit of Hearst Castle I would give a tour of Huyen's apartment which is a tad smaller than Hearst's...


Wednesday, July 16, 2008

LOOK AT THE LADY OVER MY LEFT SHOULDER!


Just like the title says, look at the lady over my left shoulder in the video. She is just a small example of what the hospital was like yesterday. It was hell! We went to the Hanoi Eye Hospital where they, well, just deal with eyes. Everyone at the hospital had some kind of funky eye thing going on: pink eye, droopy eye, big eyes (like Huyen), conjunctivitis, lazy eye, funky puss leaking looking eyes, lack of an eye/s, etc.

Some observations:

1. They have "observation rooms" where people need to stay for a few days to be watched by doctors. These rooms sleep about ten people on cots. The cots have no blankets or pillows. The rooms have no TV or any form of entertainment.
2. The hospital was -- what's a good adjectve for really really really really dirty? -- filthy.
3. I was by far the only non-Vietnamese person there. This was felt triply by me since many people would stare at me. And well, since it was the eye hospital they would get up really really close and stare since they had eye problems.

Turns out Huyen had some kind of, "reaction to the environment." I asked if it was allergies but she said she really wasn't sure what the doctor told her. He did give her a prescription and her eyes are already looking better. Now I'm just curious how my eyes are going to look because clearly I'm getting something from going to that hospital!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Big Eyes

Huyen called me last night:

Huyen: My eyes are very big.
Ben: Huh?
Huyen: My eyes are very big.
Ben: Huh?
Huyen: They are very red and hurt very much.
Ben: Oh, do you have PINK eye?
Huyen: No, BIG eye.
Ben: Pink or big?
Huyen: Big. My eyes are very big.

I texted her a few minutes ago to see how she was feeling and to see if her eyes were little again. She wrote back:
TEXT FROM HUYEN: They are bad. maybe i have to go to hospital this morning. can you ride me there?

I'm off to the hospital!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Translation

Vietnamese people love to talk on the phone at restaurants. It's just something they do here and don't consider it to be rude. Well, I still consider it to be rude so I put my camera in Huyen's face the other day while she was on the phone. I then had a Vietnamese friend translate what she was saying to me and do a voice-over. After learning what she was saying, I can't be that upset since she had such nice things to say:


Sunday, July 13, 2008

Who is this man?

The other day I had the following conversation with Huyen:

BEN: Do you know what a Jew is?
HUYEN: Not really.
BEN: Do you know what the difference between a Jew and a Christian is?
HUYEN: (shakes her head no)

To be honest, I found this really refreshing. Huyen is technically Buddhist but doesn't consider herself to have a religion. This is very similar to me who considers himself a Jew by tradition but an Atheist in belief.

Ironically later that day Huyen and I went for a walk by one of the only churches in Hanoi. Watch the video, it's classic:


Saturday, July 12, 2008

Tighty Whities


Ever wonder what happened to tighty whities? Well wonder no more. Last night I went to a sauna with some local Vietnamese guys from my ultimate frisbee team. We walked into the locker room and BAM every guy was prancing around in tighty whities. It was like 1986 in there. Even weirder was that I quickly noticed that people were looking at me as if I was a freak. I'm pretty sure it was because I was wearing boxers.