Look at this picture and honestly tell me you think we lost the war.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!!!! PART II
(PICTURE: Look at the way all those pervs can't keep their eyes/cameras off my sweetheart.)I'm sorry, Huyen, but how HOT is this chick?! She goes by Lady Liberty. Check out those legs! And look at the way the light hits her face. Damn! She's also French and yet still has hairless armpits! Man, it doesn't get hotter than that. It's July 4th in Hanoi so if I see her I plan on giving her a big sloppy French/American kiss....
All you can eat Burgers and Budweiser today! Man, it feels good to be an American!!!!
Friday, July 4, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!!!
(PICTURE: I love America...but maybe my friend Mark from Camp Airy loves it a little bit more...)
Hey, England, how'd it feel to get your ass kicked!!!! Happy Birthday, America!!!
Although technically Hanoi is 11 hours ahead of the East Coast in America, for the fourth of July we're a good twenty four hours behind. The big July 4th celebration here isn't until tomorrow evening.
Yeah, that's right, there is a July 4th celebration in Hanoi. The irony couldn't be thicker. My personal theory is this: The Vietnamese get to say, "The Americans beat the British and we beat the Americans so we're stronger than the Americans and the British." Regardless tomorrow night I'll be chowing down on burgers and downing beer at the American club telling tall tales to some British expats about when my great-great-great-great Grandma single handedly killed a legion of red coats.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Pig Bird
On Wednesday one of my Pre-Intermediate 1 students asked me, "Do you know pig bird?"
Naturally I thought she misspoke so I asked her to repeat her question. She once again said, "Do you know pig bird?" Still thinking she misspoke I wrote the word "pig bird" on the white board. The student excitedly nodded her head and said, "Yes, pig bird." She then said something in Vietnamese and all the students in my class started rambling in English, "pig bird." I asked the class what a pig bird is and one of the better speakers said in broken English, "when pig bird fly over house you die." I asked her to elaborate more but the language barrier was too great. There was only one thing to do--ask my Upper Intermediate class.
I brought the question to my UI students and the girls explained that when a pig bird flies near your house and sings it means someone is going to die. More or less the same explanation. The guys in my class began to yell out that it wasn't true -- a superstition if you will -- but the girls continued to defend it.
I asked if the pig bird looked like a pig but was told it only sounds like a pig. Yen, one of the pig bird defendants, began to make pig noises: "Yeeee Yeeee Yeeeee." Oh, for those of you who don't know, animal noises are different in ever country. If you try and translate the word dog by saying, "Woof Woof", people will have no idea what you're talking about or possible think you're describing a chicken. One of my favorite things to do is ask my younger students what noises a ____ makes and hear the response (Yes, I'll eventually get this on video).
Anyway, I'm now terrified of seeing a pig bird because, well, I don't want to die. I asked an artist to draw a picture of the bird so I can avoid it at all costs or at least attempt to shoot it with some kind of projectile if it flies over my house. So visitors if you come to 'Nam look out for this:
Naturally I thought she misspoke so I asked her to repeat her question. She once again said, "Do you know pig bird?" Still thinking she misspoke I wrote the word "pig bird" on the white board. The student excitedly nodded her head and said, "Yes, pig bird." She then said something in Vietnamese and all the students in my class started rambling in English, "pig bird." I asked the class what a pig bird is and one of the better speakers said in broken English, "when pig bird fly over house you die." I asked her to elaborate more but the language barrier was too great. There was only one thing to do--ask my Upper Intermediate class.
I brought the question to my UI students and the girls explained that when a pig bird flies near your house and sings it means someone is going to die. More or less the same explanation. The guys in my class began to yell out that it wasn't true -- a superstition if you will -- but the girls continued to defend it.
I asked if the pig bird looked like a pig but was told it only sounds like a pig. Yen, one of the pig bird defendants, began to make pig noises: "Yeeee Yeeee Yeeeee." Oh, for those of you who don't know, animal noises are different in ever country. If you try and translate the word dog by saying, "Woof Woof", people will have no idea what you're talking about or possible think you're describing a chicken. One of my favorite things to do is ask my younger students what noises a ____ makes and hear the response (Yes, I'll eventually get this on video).
Anyway, I'm now terrified of seeing a pig bird because, well, I don't want to die. I asked an artist to draw a picture of the bird so I can avoid it at all costs or at least attempt to shoot it with some kind of projectile if it flies over my house. So visitors if you come to 'Nam look out for this:
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Rainy Season
It is currently the rainy season in Hanoi. When I first heard about the rainy season I pictured it just consistently raining for a couple months straight. However that's not how it works. Basically it'll just be hot as hell here and all of a sudden the sky opens up and buckets of water drop from the cloud. The downpour is followed by gigantic strikes of lightning and ear shattering thunder. The storms last from anywhere between twenty minuets to a couple of hours.
This video (which you really can't see any of the rain but can hear it pretty well) was shot while I was writing at my computer. It was a normal day and then WHAM it became dark out and heavy rain began to fall. There was a ton of lightning which was bad news since I had to drive to work for my 4PM class.
In the states it is slightly nerve-wracking driving in a lightning storm despite being grounded in your car with four rubber wheels. Here it's just a tad scarier when you're riding a motorbike, completely exposed to the elements. Despite the two rubber wheels I'm pretty sure you'd be toast -- literally -- if lightning struck you.
This video (which you really can't see any of the rain but can hear it pretty well) was shot while I was writing at my computer. It was a normal day and then WHAM it became dark out and heavy rain began to fall. There was a ton of lightning which was bad news since I had to drive to work for my 4PM class.
In the states it is slightly nerve-wracking driving in a lightning storm despite being grounded in your car with four rubber wheels. Here it's just a tad scarier when you're riding a motorbike, completely exposed to the elements. Despite the two rubber wheels I'm pretty sure you'd be toast -- literally -- if lightning struck you.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Perspective
Now this is a small spider:
In the end, I let the spider live. However, I'm pretty sure a salamander/lizard ate it a few minutes later. Yeah, that's right we've now got salamanders and lizards in my house. I swear I feel like I'm living in biblical times and the ten plagues are upon us. Just to be safe I'm smearing sheep's blood on the door post of the house -- that's officially my first and last Passover reference.
In the end, I let the spider live. However, I'm pretty sure a salamander/lizard ate it a few minutes later. Yeah, that's right we've now got salamanders and lizards in my house. I swear I feel like I'm living in biblical times and the ten plagues are upon us. Just to be safe I'm smearing sheep's blood on the door post of the house -- that's officially my first and last Passover reference.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Grey Hairs
With love in the air this week I thought I'd post yet another video of Huyen and I. This is a glimpse of every day life in my "office." Whenever Huyen is over and I sit down at my computer to do some work, she comes up behind me and starts to pluck my grey hairs...with her fingers:
Consider this your warning visitors who happen to have grey hairs...
Consider this your warning visitors who happen to have grey hairs...
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