Breakfast

For those of you who didn't believe item 7d on the last post, this is a picture of Lee after he shot the bat with his slingshot. The picture is blurry but you get the point. 

And yes, it was delicious. 

And no, I don't know if it had rabies. 

The Country

(PICTURE: Just another day plucking chickens...)

BEST DAY AND A HALF OF MY TRIP. 

I arranged to meet Hien and Ryan in Nha Trang, Vietnam's major beach town, this past weekend. Of course I wanted to see them but really I just wanted to meet Hien's Dad who lives out in the country. The trip could not have been more memorable. Here are the highlights:

1. After much argument Ryan and I convinced Hien to let us rent our own motorbikes for the drive. I practiced riding in the alley of my hotel for about five minutes before I said, "screw it" and jumped in to the streets. Within the first thirty seconds I had a near accident with a bicycle rider who made a left turn directly into my lane. Despite having never driven a car with gears, let alone a motorbike, I did a pretty good job. 

2. After Hien and her cousin Lee (it's a nickname which means hard-headed) met us at the hotel, we took off for the 70km ride to meet her dad...we got about 1/2 a kilometer before Ryan turned to me and said, "I really need to fill up with gas." Five seconds later I turned to look at Ryan but only saw him in my rear-view mirror--his bike had run out of gas. 

3. After filling up with gas we hit the road again. Within fifteen minutes we were on a major highway headed towards distant mountains. Highway driving was easy except when a giant truck/bus/van/etc. would come up behind you blaring it's horn (it's the law here to honk your horn when passing motorbikes) or even worse, when a giant truck/bus/van/etc. would come right at you in a traditional game of chicken. 

4. We finally turned off the highway and drove through country roads...and then turned on to even more country roads...and then onto even more country roads.  We passed rice fields and sugar cane plantations and occasionally schools where children would run out and yell, "hello!!!" Slowly the paved roads became less paved until they were merely dirt roads lined with bumps, pot holes and cow feces.  Eventually we arrived at Hien's Dad's house. Now when I say house I really mean a bamboo dwelling built over a large pond.  You see, Hien's father retired a few years ago and lives in this structure raising fish. The house was half Robinson Crusoe and half the fort Mike Levy and I built in my backyard as a child. The place had no power outside of a battery that hooked up to lights, no toilet, and well, no real floor. The fish would literally jump up underneath you while you sat/slept. 

5. This trip was really special for Hien too because she doesn't get to go home very often and see her father. Usually when she comes to Nha Trang she has to babysit her students and doesn't get the chance to venture off to the country. Ryan and I aren't like her usual students and wanted to the country to be our trip. Hien was more than happy to oblige. She phoned her father the day before we took the trip and he was extremely excited. He told her, "he wouldn't be able to sleep that night (except of course in Vietnamese)." Hien's Dad was amazing and completely welcomed us into his home. He immediately offered me the best seat in the house--a lawn chair. He also shoved his hunting rifle into Ryan's and my hands and had us play with it. (no shots were fired from the gun, just from my camera). 

6. The trip was only supposed to be a day trip. However, it began to rain in the late afternoon and Hien informed us that, "if it rains a lot we can't go back. The river will flood." Well, it didn't stop raining so we slept at the house. It was my first time: a) sleeping on bamboo b) sleeping above thousands of fish when not in a boat c) sleeping with a mosquito net. Despite all that, I got eight hours of sleep which is by far the most I've gotten since my travels began. 

7. The absolute highlight of the trip was the eating. Besides a few vegetables and a little meat Hien bought at the market, every meal consisted of things found around the house. This included:

a) Fish caught in the pond. 

b) Sugar cane cut from the surrounding grass.

c) Frogs snatched mid-jump.

d) A bat Lee shot with a sling shot. Yes, a bat. 

e) One of the chicken's Hien's dad was raising in the backyard.

To sum up point "E": Ryan casually asked if we could eat a chicken for dinner. Hien then asked her father who promptly walked into the "backyard" and grabbed a chicken. Like a pro, he cut the chicken's throat (plenty of picture of this that might be too graphic for some of my loyal ahoyhanoi viewers) and held her down so she wouldn't "run around like a chicken with its head cut off."  Hien then placed the chicken into a bowl and poured boiling hot water on to it to help the plucking process. Well, the boiling hot water works because the chicken was quite easy to pluck. I should know since I plucked about 25% of it. Yup, that's a first for me....

My Driver

(PICTURE: My "Easy Rider" driver)

As I mentioned, yesterday I took a day long motorbike tour with this company called "Easy Rider" (They named themselves after the classic movie). Well, my ride wasn't so easy post lunch following this conversation:

Ben: So how long have you been an easy rider?

Hung: Seven years.

Ben: What were you doing before that?

Hung: I was teaching in high school. Mathematics. Eight years. But boring. 

Ben: So you became an easy rider after that?

Hung: No. I was taxi driver. But I got in accident and killed a man. So I become a motorbike driver. Lets go...

And then we got on his bike and rode off. 

Da Lat

(PICTURE: The Future Mrs. August?)

Lana in Cambodia has a new rival. Mom, Dad meet Kalak. I met Kalak today on my bike tour of Da Lat. One of our many stops was a minority village (there are something like 70 minority tribes in Vietnam. I don't have my guide book with me but that number sounds vaguely familiar) and I was given a private tour by Kalak. Not only was she cute and sweet but she spoke English really well (learned just from tourists) and had a great sense of humor.

From talking with her I found out that she's the fourth of seven daughters in her family. Her three older sisters have gotten married already which means she's next. She told me that women in her tribe need to give a dowry of 6 buffalo, twenty scarves and something else ridiculous to the future husband's family. I asked if she knew who she was going to marry and she told me this: "No. If I buy the buffalo I get to choose my husband. If my parents buy the buffalo they get to choose." For those of you who are curious, she currently has bought three buffaloes for herself. A buffalo costs roughly $350. That's an insane amount of money for anyone in Vietnam and especially for people in her village. So, if we all chip in a few bucks we could help contribute to Kalak's future happiness. Oh, FYI, Kalak also hinted to me that her friend from the village married a tourist and now lives in Seattle. Zev, how would Rocky and Bella like to have some buffalo to play with in your back yard?

Good, Bad and Worse News

The Good News: I didn't have to ride the awkward sleeping bus from Mui Ne to Da Lat today.

The Bad News: The girl in front of me on the bus got car sick and puked into a bag.

The Worse News: The bag broke and splashed on to my foot.

Mui Ne

(PICTURE: The Sleeper Bus)

I'm sitting in a travel agency/internet shack in Mui Ne typing on a computer, circa 1985, that may actually be my family's Apple IIe with a Dell sticker taped on to it.

The lesson of this blog is that sometimes it pays to listen to the guide books. Yesterday I booked an "Open Tour" from Saigon to Hanoi. Basically, I paid $31 and can get on and off a bus from city to city. Lonely Planet suggested using a company called Sinh Cafe. I went over to the Sinh Cafe office and it was over flowing with Westerners. It just seemed like anyone with a guide book was here, booking their tickets. I grabbed a brochure and quickly skimmed through it. Moments earlier I had passed another travel agency called Hanh Cafe. Outside of the office was a brand new double-decker couch bus and each seat looked like it reclined into a bed. Inside the office were Asians, and Asians only. Being the adventurer/idiot I am, I decided to book an open tour with Hanh.

That night I told Hien about my decision and how the bus influenced my choice. I said how there were two overnight trips on the bus and I thought it would be much more comfortable sleeping on this luxury coach then the Sinh Cafe standard bus. Hien looked at me and said, "Those beds are made for Vietnamese people." Hien's words could not have been truer. Yesterday morning I boarded the bus and quickly realized two things:
1. The bus was not a double decker but merely a very tall bus with three rows of bunk beds.
2. I don't even come close to fitting into my chair. To recline, I have to basically lay with my knees straight in the air or my head hanging over the end of the chair onto the feet of the person sleeping behind me. Yes, this would be much easier to understand if I had a picture (which I have plenty of) but sadly my Apple IIe from 1985 doesn't have a USB port.

Five hours and multiple stiff muscles later the bus arrived in Mui Ne. This beach side resort is famous for its white sand dunes and gorgeous beaches. I had made a reservation at a Lonely Planet suggested hotel two days ago that is a bungalow right on the beach. I showed up at the hotel, towing all my bags for the first time in a month, and was told that there were no rooms availabe. To quote Seinfeld, "They know how to take the reservation but they don't know how to keep the reservation. Anyone can take a reservation. The hard part is to keep the reservation." The owner of the hotel suggested I go across the street and check into his hotel today. Luckily the guest house had rooms...which isn't that surprising since it's the ONLY hotel not on the beach.

That said, it's quite beautiful here despite a lot of garbage on the beach. I went swimming yesterday and saw this ominous white object swimming up to me. My first thought was that it was a large jellyfish. Turns out it was just a white plastic bag. I'm not sure which is worse.

Last night I went to a Vietnamese BBQ restaurant. It was delicious and it gave me a great opportunity to practice my new Vietnamese skills. Trang, my waitress, looked at me funny when I asked her, "Ban ten gli?" (what is your name minus the accent marks). I repeated it multiple times. Turns out I was asking the question correctly but she was confused since she was wearing a large name tag.

Off to the beach and then to the sand dunes later this afternoon.

Ben

P.S. The Bruins got screwed in Game 2 against Montreal. I'm a bitter fan 10,000 miles away.

QUESTION: What do Yao Ming, Kobe Bryant, Osama bin Laden and Hitler Have In Common?

 (PICTURE: A belated -- and very odd -- picture from China)

Answer: You can buy a t-shirt with their picture on it in China. 

I took this picture a while ago but finally decided to post it after a conversation I had yesterday with my students. I've been quite lazy over the last weeks and haven't shaven which has grown a sort of beard--or as much as a beard as I can ever really grow--on my face. I asked my students whether or not they liked my beard. The answers were:

1. "You look handsome, sir."

2. "It is very dirty, sir."

3. "It is nice, sir."

4. "You look like (something not understandable), sir."

After the student said #4 all the other students started to laugh and agree. I asked who I looked like and they all started to say the same non understandable name. I asked who that person was and started to pick up clues. Clue #1: "Muslim." Clue #2: A hand gesture showing a big beard. Clue #3: Terrorist. 

Well, it turned out the students thought I looked like Osama bin Laden. Yeah, it may be time to shave.