Good Timing

(PICTURE: Eva and me on The Bund)

About a week before I left the states I received a text message from one of my favorite fellow Orange Alumni--Lene Dahl. Without a doubt Lene was the smartest person I met at Syracuse. Technically, even if she wasn't, she came across that way with her slight Dutch accent. For anyone who has traveled in Europe, it's a fact that Europeans just sound smarter than us. I'd trust a five year old with a British accent over my own brother any day of the week in a trivia contest. Lene's text was something like, "What are you up to?" I naturally replied, "Moving to Vietnam in a couple days." After a few back and forth texts, I told Lene about my travel plans and she mentioned that her cousin lived in Shanghai and her sister was living in Cambodia. Always one for meeting a local whenever I travel (AKA mooching off a stranger), I got their emails and introduced myself. The next morning I received an email back from Lene's cousin Eva. Before I knew it I had an invitation to sleep in her extra bedroom--an opportunity I could never turn down.

To use the lexicon of a seventh grade girl, Eva has been the "hostest with the mostest." I told Eva that I cared about two things: eating and eating some more. Eva assured me this was her speciality and she has proven it meal after meal since my arrival. Eva is half Chinese and half Dutch (Just like Lene) and speaks fluent Cantonese. After eleven days of traveling with hand gestures and a vocabulary consisting of "hello" and "thank you" it has been amazing to be shown around by someone who speaks the language and looks like a local. I immediately knew things were going to be different in Shanghai when we walked up to a local street vendor selling buns. Eva asked for one pork and one vegetable bun. I took out 10RMB to pay. Eva told me it was just 2RMB. 2RMB!!! That's like thirty cents. This same culinary purchase anywhere else during my travels would have cost me at least 10RMB--the foreigner price.

Shanghai isn't a city with much to see. This is a place of business and not a place of sights. There are a few museums and major walking streets but nothing that jumps out at you and says, "this is China." Well except for the millions of Chinese people and all the signs. But besides that I feel like I'm just in New York's China Town...if China Town grew exponentially in size and had no seeming driving laws. That said, I'm loving it here. Eva and I have literally just walked around the city and eaten at every turn. We ate wonderful Cantonese food the first night I was here with the highlight being my first taste of jellyfish. Eva said that many foreigners don't like the crunchiness of jellyfish--but I'm not a typical foreigner. I devoured half a plate that was supposed to be split between four of us. Whoops.

The other thing I've been doing a lot of in Shanghai is playing backgammon. Between Dad and I playing two days before I left Jersey, and having played four hours on the Cathay Pacific flight to Hong Kong, I consider myself one of the greatest backgammon players in the world. After letting Eva win our first two games and having her brag about how great she was in backgammon, I introduced the betting dice. Five games later she owed me 39 beers.

Today I'm off to meet some friends I met at The Great Wall who happen to be in Shanghai today. After that I'm headed to the fabric district to pick up two shirts I had made (I decided wearing the same green safari shirt was starting to look disgusting in all my pictures...so I had a black and white one made just like it). Following that I'll be headed to a local massage parlor to get a rub down by a blind man who I was told "works magic." It's tough work traveling and I deserve a little R&R today.

Not Enough Minutes in the Day

You've got to give it to Mao, he doesn't let a little thing like death stand in the way of keeping a busy schedule. After sleeping for only a few hours the other night I woke up bright and early to be at the front of the line to see Mao in all his glory. However, when I got to the Chairman Mao Zedong Memorial Mausoleum I was told by a guard, "No Chairman today." Despite a large sign in front of the building displaying his regular office hours (Tuesday-Sunday 8:15 till 12AM (This calls for double parenthesis: On one of the most important monuments in China they have a typing error since the monument closes at noon and not at midnight)) Mao wasn't available. I just shrugged it off as another unexplainable thing in China. I can't fault Mao though. He's got the Olympics coming up, an emerging economy, a billion plus people to feed, etc. How he ever has office hours I just don't know. Man, I just want to pinch his cheeks!

The rest of the day I went around the city taking photos. Right before I left the USA I replaced my Prius with a Canon Rebel XTi. I made the promise to myself that along my trip I wouldn't buy any souvenirs but would just take tons of amazing pictures and put them into a coffee book for myself upon returning to the states. In my last week in America I began to practice with the camera with tutorial help by my buddy Sam (Vanderbilt '00, USC '05, On The Lot '07). Sam has an amazing photographic eye and taught me the basics of some advanced techniques-blurring moving objects, long shutter speeds at night, etc. Well Sam's tips are starting to pay off because I've got about forty shots that I absolutely love.

The funny thing about taking photographs in China is that people will approach you and try and look into your viewfinder to see what you're taking pictures of. Countless times I've stepped aside so people can check out what I'm about to shoot. I also have no doubt that a few of those times I may have been approached by undercover policemen since I've been setting up my tripod in some highly guarded places and gotten looks from more than one soldier.

A few funny things that happened on my photo day trip:

1. I was approached by multiple Asian tourists who asked to take pictures with me. I was in the Forbidden City and people would rather photograph me then some ancient chair sat in by the Emperor. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I've still got it!

2. At lunchtime my meal was interrupted by loud laughing next to me. I turned to look and saw an old man and his son pointing at me and mocking how I was using my chopsticks. I've been using chopsticks for at least a decade and never had a problem and was doing quite fine eating my Peking duck and dumplings. However, the guys were making faces and gestures as if I was using a fork upside down.

3. I started to think that I managed to escape all scam artists in town when "My English name is Richard" came up to me and invited me to some quiet place to have tea and look at art. It is the exact scam written about in Lonely Planet and told to me by other tourists. Basically they bring you into a back room and threaten you unless you pay them a bunch of money. So Richard's English name was appropriate--he was a dick.

4. I went to the YongHeGong Lama Temple and started snapping away photos. There was a Tibetan Prayer wheel that people were approaching and spinning. I thought it could make for a really cool action photo with the wheel blurring and the people's arms moving too. So I set up my tripod and began to take pictures. After a minute this old man approached me and asked me to take his picture. I took a few shots for him and then showed him the images in my LCD screen. He started to say something to me very frantically and I had no idea what he wanted. I gestured that if he wrote down his address I'd send him the photos. He then grabbed my camera and started pulling at the image. A woman came over who spoke decent English and translated--the man wanted the photo from my camera. He was literally trying to pull the image out of my Canon. After about fifteen minutes of explanation the woman said I should email her the pictures and she would send them to the man and his wife. I took a bunch more photos for the man and he thanked me vigorously. He bowed to me about thirty times which felt very odd considering I was standing feet from a gigantic Buddha.

5. One of the Tibetan monks was wearing a Rolex.

6. After letting my stomach recover for days by managing not to have any spicy food, I bought what looked like a spring roll/burrito from an outdoor food stand. I bit into the food and within seconds felt my mouth start to tingle. This didn't stop me from having another bite...and another. Before I knew it I was dripping wet and felt like someone had just shoved a blow torch into my mouth. I quickly scurried through a large crowd to find some help. The help came in the form of two golden arches as I frantically purchased and stuffed a McDonald's ice cream into my furnace/mouth. The yogurt swirl was temporary relief and got me through the worst of it but for about two hours after my lips were burning hot.

Off to Shanghai!!!

Chinese Proverb: "Not been on the Great Wall, not a great man"

As I walked out of the hostel shower at 6:12AM yesterday morning the overnight front desk girl came frantically running up to me: "Your driver is here! Your driver is here!" I tried to tell her that I was told to be downstairs at 6:30AM but somewhere around "I" she seemed confused. I hurried together my stuff and got downstairs by 6:20. Moments later I was racing through Beijing in a small red station wagon narrowly escaping death at seemingly every block. There are a plethora of bad drivers out here but mine seemed to be the worst of the worst--he may have even failed his driving test more times than Bier. We eventually pulled up to another hotel and picked up another tourist. The guy got in the car and said hello. He was American. I asked where he was from and he said "California." "Where in California?" "Los Angeles." "Where in Los Angeles?" "Santa Monica." "Where in Santa Monica?" "Fifth and Ocean Park." I smiled at him and said, "I live eight blocks from you." It's strange how you can meet a neighbor slightly outside of your neighborhood.

Jose, my fellow Santa Monican, and I got dropped off at a larger bus and joined about thirty other English speaking trekkers for our voyage to The Great Wall. There are lots of different trips to the wall and I specifically asked for the one that was the least touristy. I was told that the best one was a hike from Jinshanling to Simatai. Unlike many other times in China, this turned out to be great advice--the day was fantastic. Besides our bus, there were only a few scattered other hikers on the wall. Well, that's not exactly true. There was a small army of locals who met us at the gate entrance and walked the 10Ks with us hoping to sell us bookmarks and postcards. I was slightly hurt because everyone on my bus literally had a chaperone except for me. I took our tour guides advice and made no eye contact and spoke no english to the mobile vendors. Those who did, were immediately latched onto and escorted for four hours.

The great thing about this trip was that the wall wasn't in perfect shape. Unlike the main tourist spots which have been repaired, this section was often crumbling and slightly treacherous. I can vouch for this first hand since I had a slight slip onto my butt while walking down some ancient steps. Luckily years of playing hockey have added a protective layer of meat to my tush, so all was well. Now, as far as the proverb goes, I don't think it is necessary true. I know plenty of great men who haven't hiked the great wall. That said, I'm just a little bit greater than them.

Open Wide!

I will never ever complain about going to the dentist. There are about thirty things wrong with this picture. I'll point out the two most obvious things:

1. I took this from the street. Ten feet from the chair.

2. There is a propane tank in the front left of "the office."

Feel free to point out some other things.

Very Special Friend Discount

There is an old saying: "Guilin has the most beautiful scenery in China, but Yangsuo's is the unmatched in Guilin." Yeah, I know that doesn't really make sense and it's probably because I stole it from Yunzen Lieu's online book report (he also spelled the English translation wrong--it should be Yangshou. If I was his teacher I'd fail him). Lieu went on to say, "Last year, In my Li River cruise trip from Guilin to Yangshuo, Gorgeous Karst peaks give me surprises at each bend of the limpid river under the blue sky,and then I came to Yangshuo city that is a great place for hikes and cycling excursions, I took a close-up exploration to the country villages, One thing surprised me on the bamboo raft trip along Yulonghe River. We didn't expect the scenery to be such a paradise."

Unfortunately my book report is somewhat different than Lieu's. I came to Guilin because my roommate Erica told me that it was her favorite place in China when she came here a decade ago. Erica is half Chinese so I should have only half listened to her. In theory Guilin is probably one of the prettiest places in the world. The limestone formations jut out of the landscape at every turn. Boom, there's a giant mountain. Boom, there's another. They were everywhere with no rhyme or reason--kind of like pimples on a teenager. In every picture online and in books the city is blanketed with blue skies and clouds seemingly kissing the mountain tops. However, those pictures were all probably taken before the industrial boom hit the region. Now, much like other places in China, pollution dominates the scenery.

But I didn't have my biggest problem with the landscape. Without a doubt, my biggest issue was with the people. The city thrives on tourism and with that comes thousands of people trying to make a buck on you any way possible. It seems that there isn't one honest person in the whole town. Well, there was one honest person. Some very sweet lady came up to me and said, "You are very beautiful. I give you sex for free." Besides her though I felt like I needed to keep my hand on my wallet at all times. The best example I could give of this is my encounter with a local named Kevin. Kevin, who appeared to be about forty, approached me on the street:

Kevin: Hi, how are you?

Ben: Good thanks.

Kevin: Where you from?

Ben: USA.

Kevin: Oh, USA! I studied in Seattle. Very rainy. Saw space needle.

Ben: Cool.

I then walked with Kevin all the way back to my hostel waiting for some kind of scam. None came.

Kevin: Oh, you stay at the hostel?

Ben: Yeah.

Kevin: I own this supermarket. (the market was right next door). You want to come in for tea?

Ben: Sure. (Thinking: I like tea and aren't you supposed to have tea in China?)

Over tea Kevin explained to me that he's a drawing teacher at the University. His wife runs the supermarket and he collects good teas. He showed me his collection which he was very proud of. He explained the different types of teas and then casually threw in:

Kevin: This one costs 65 Yuan but I'll give it to you for 50 Yuan because you are my very special friend.

I thought that was very nice of the Kevmeister. I mean we just became friends but he was ready to give me the family and friend discount. I thought to myself, this is a nice guy and I'm going to stay at a friend's house in Shanghai so I'll buy some tea. Kevin was excited and got out a tea canister. It was quite large. And well, tea can be quite expensive. I told him to give me the junior size and he said that was fine. He filled me up, weighted it and asked for his 150 Yuan or roughly $21. I paid the man and enjoyed some more tea. After he took me over to his professor's gallery to see some of his work. Again I was offered the special rate, "This is a 300% discount from what we charge the Sheraton." Shit, the Sheraton has a Kevin original? I guess I need a Kevin original too!

Okay, I didn't really buy art. I said I was on a budget and took off. Later in the night I walked by the market and Kevin called me in, "Want more tea?" I went in and drank with him for about an hour and a half ready to be scammed in a new way. At this point I was really just doing it for the blog. It's a write-off (Bob, seriously can I write off this whole trip if someone pays to advertise on my blog?). Well, low and behold Kevin didn't charge me a thing and said it was his pleasure to serve me. He then asked me to come meet him the next night to play billiards. I was game until I met some other travelers in my hostel who bragged about, "Meeting a friendly local who is a drawing teacher at the University and hooked us up with really great tea." I showed them my picture of Kevin and they said it wasn't their local connection. Apparently everyone in the neighborhood had the same story. Long story short, the next night I skipped hanging out with Kev-o. I saw him from around the corner waiting in front of his store but I thought I'd play it safe and go around the long way to my hostel. I had read an article about drinking with locals and how they had a scam to party with you and then you get stuck with a huge bill at the bar. Perhaps this was Kevin's plan. The thing is, and this is what makes me sad, perhaps Kevin was an honest guy and everyone else around was dishonest. It just made me question everyone's motives and that's not what I should be doing while traveling.

I've heard that there are a 1001 scams in Vietnam so I'm slightly concerned. However, I think this is a good lesson for me going forward.

Anyway, as far as the rest of Guilin. I took a river cruise to Yangshuo. It's the one thing you have to do when in Guilin. Well, that is what the tour boats say. The cruise was fine. There was lots of pretty scenery but it got old after an hour...and there were three more hours left after that. I met some cool people on the trip and got to see another city which is always a positive. I also started practicing more with my camera. I took this awesome photo of a guy riding his bike. By the end of my trip I'm going to be Ansel Freaking Adams.

By the way, can someone do some research for me: Could a Chinese citizen really study abroad about twenty years ago in the states? I know it's really hard for them to get a Visa to come to the USA and would think it would have been really hard back in the 80s...you know with Springsteen and all.

China: The Land Of Yiddish

There are endless examples of signs with bad English translations. My favorite two have been the "SHIT Store" which sold groceries (sadly I didn't have my camera) and a sign outside a public bathroom that read, "Outstanding Public Lavatory." Inside it was not so outstanding. However, perhaps the oddest sign I've seen yet is this one. Check out Rule #5. Grandma, did you used to work part time in China?

(click to enlarge image)

Humanitarian Award #2

As many of you know, the biggest accomplishment of my life was winning the Mt. Pleasant Elementary School Humanitarian Award in 1990. Well, the Guangzhou City Council in their infinite wisdom has awarded me my second humanitarian award. This lady in the video nominated me.