Grilling On The Street

Recently my buddy Nicky introduced Huyen and me to a streetside BBQ shop. Basically the shop has a whole bunch of different meats that you can grill over a coal fire. We ended up eating frog, goat and pork ribs with a bunch of lady fingers (vegetables) and buttered bread. The meal was quite good and reminded me of Japanese yakiniku restaurants. The big difference between Vietnamese grilled meat restaurants and Japanese grilled meat restaurants are:
1. In Japan you're actually in a restaurant.
2. In Japan you don't grill on a plastic table...which began to partially melt.
3. In Japan you pay a whole bunch of money. In Vietnam it cost us $3 a person.
4. In Vietnam, you have a wider assortment of meat.

Head to head, I've got to give the edge to Japan. The meats in Japan were absolutely outstanding especially at the yakiniku restaurant that Masumi and Kensuke took me too. That said, this grilled meat shop is now on my restaurant rotation and I'll be sure to bring some carnivorous friends there in the near future!


(PICTURE: Vietnamese grill.)

(PICTURE: My first yakiniku in Japan.)

Wedding Update #2

(PICTURE: Nope, this isn't the same picture as yesterday. We're just standing in front of the same government building and I'm wearing the same shirt.)

After receiving our final stamp, Huyen and I drove back to Ha Nam in the middle of the week. We showed up at the government office first thing in the morning so that we could quickly drop off our paperwork and then drive back to Hanoi to go to work. Well, in Vietnam nothing is ever that easy. After three different people looked over our paperwork, we were given another set of applications to fill in which took about an hour.

(PICTURE: Huyen with our completed application form.)

Finally, after one more office worker looked over our application, we officially handed in all of our paperwork. We were told that we would be called within a week to come back to Ha Nam to have an interview. The interview is supposed to prove that we really love each other and will involve Huyen, myself, a government worker and a translator. As ridiculous as that interview sounds, I can't wait for it because a) it'll make a great blog b) it should have taken place about two weeks ago. The call "within a week" has already turned into three weeks.

Wedding Update #1

(PICTURE: Take 1 on getting married.)

Today is Huyen and my 27 month anniversary. On such a momentous occasion I think the only appropriate posting should be a wedding update:

Let me start off by stating a simple fact that I'm gonna complain about a lot over the next couple of weeks: All the paperwork/bureaucratic stuff Huyen and I have to do to get married in Vietnam must be done in Ha Nam (Huyen's home province) and not in Ha Noi. Basically, there is something in Vietnam called a "Family Book" and one must do legal paperwork for weddings/etc. in the province that your family book is registered in. For Huyen to switch family books to Hanoi would take a little bit of time and a few million VND. So what's the problem with having to do things in Ha Nam? Well, there's a few problems which I'll talk about over the next couple of days. The first most glaring issue though is that we must drive 3 hours roundtrip to submit any paperwork. In a perfect world, going into the process, Huyen and I figured there were three necessary trips. Well, add one more trip because the first one was totally unsuccessful.

When I say there is a mountain of paperwork we have to fill out, I really wouldn't be exaggerating:

(PICTURE: Those sixty pages are our marriage application.)

Huyen and I have a copy of the Vietnamese marriage laws in both English and Vietnamese and thoroughly prepared our documents. This required weeks of preparation and about nine notarizations from different offices. Well, turns out, we should have had ten notarizations. After showing up at the Ha Nam government offices, a man went through our paperwork and quickly pointed out that we were missing a stamp from Vietnam's Foreign Affairs office...in Hanoi. Nowhere in any of the paperwork was this office ever mentioned. Basically -- and this totally makes sense -- the Foreign Affairs office gives a stamp saying that my Affidavit of Being Single from the US Embassy is legit.


(PICTURE: Huyen holding my document which needed one more stamp.)

Huyen and I had to drive back to Hanoi and a) Had to find the office b) Had to wait 48 hours for the stamp.

So that was our dress rehearsal for turning in our marriage paperwork. Stay tuned for opening night tomorrow...

Kickstands

(PICTURE: Kickstands are only for parking.)

One of my hobbies recently has been to look out for fellow motorists who have forgotten to put their kickstand up before driving. Why do I do this? Well, I'm not really sure but it definitely makes me feel like a good Samaritan. You see, Huyen has told me 38,433 times that driving witha kickstand down is "really really dangerous." Apparently if you make a left turn and your kickstand is down it can end pretty tragically. I must admit that I've forgotten to put my kickstand up a few times and have had a very bumpy and nearly dangerous left turn. Once or twice someone has ridden up to me and told me that my kickstand was down. Every time this has happened, I've felt pretty thankful. To return the favor, I've developed an eagle's eye for kickstands in the down position. This week I've told four people to fix their kickstand. In return, I've been told once that mine was down.

I wish I had a video of me being a good kickstand Samaritan but it usually goes exactly like this:
BEN: Hey, Mister/Ms.!!!!
STRANGER: (Look at me strangely wondering why a foreigner has ridden up next to them and is yelling at them).
BEN: (Points finger at kickstand)
STRANGER: (HUGE SMILE) Thank you!

I then ride away as fast as I can to save them from having to offer me coffee or gold for potentially saving their lives.

Wait In The Shade

Here's a common site in Vietnam:

(PICTURE: Notice how no bikes are stopped in the bright white areas.)

Whenever Vietnamese approach a traffic light, they'll stop wherever there is shade. The particular picture above is from one of the busier intersections in Hanoi. Although there are usually a hundred bikes waiting to go on a green, everyone there stays far back from the light so that they can relax in the shade for a minute.

It's no secret that most Vietnamese/Asians do not like to get suntanned. What I find hilarious though is that when the sun is not out, people act like their houses are on fire and have to get to the absolute front of the line. However, throw a little sun into the equation and people are more than happy to arrive somewhere ten seconds later as long as they didn't get any unnecessary vitamin D.

Thanh Chuong's Work

Despite thinking Thanh Chuong is an asshole, I can't deny that he is an amazingly talented artist. His paintings are all interesting to say the least.

One thing I do take issue with though is that the pamphlet for the palace says, "All subjects are fair game, and he effortlessly renders them in his personal artistic 'language' that is unmistakably Thanh Chuong." My issue comes with this: All of us immediately said, "His work looks like Picassos," as soon as we saw a couple of paintings. And those that didn't look like Picasso's work, could have easily compared with Matisse's. Look, there's nothing wrong with having influences, just acknowledge them. But again, I guess this should expected from a guy who named a palace after himself and charges Vietnamese an average of two days wages to see how great he is.

A is for Artist, A is for Asshole

(PICTURE: Hi, I'm an Asshole with a capital A.)

This past weekend a few of us took a motorbike trip out to Thanh Chuong Viet Palace, the residence of perhaps Vietnam's most famous painter -- Thanh Chuong.

I had stumbled upon this house/musuem online during the week and immediately knew I wanted to visit it as soon as possible. Thanh Chuong's house is just about 35 kilometers outside of Hanoi which made for a great day trip. The "Palace" looks ancient but in actuality it was built in the last decade.

Here's the first thing you need to know about Than Chuong Viet Palace: It is without a doubt the most expensive museum I've been to in Vietnam. The cost for anyone to enter and see all of the sites is 100,000 VND. Sure this is only $5 or so but it is about $4 more than any other museum for a Vietnamese citizen. If the museum is trying to prove that art is only for the elite, they're doing a good job.

However, the price of entrance wasn't nearly the most appalling thing we encountered during our trip -- that honor goes to the artist himself. While we were walking through the grounds, I spotted the artist giving a tour to two people carrying pretty nice cameras. I didn't want to interrupt the tour so I didn't say anything to Thanh Chuong. Well, about thirty minutes later I found myself in a room with just Huyen and the artist. Here's a word for word conversation of what went down:
Ben: You have a beautiful house.
Thanh Chuong: (Grunt noises)
Ben: Can I ask you a question about lacquer (the medium he paints with)?
Thanh Chuong: (Footstep noises as he walks away)
Ben: Alrighhhhhhttttttyyyyy....

I've lived in Vietnam for over two years and this was without a doubt one of the rudest interactions I have had. You might be saying to yourself, "Maybe he doesn't speak English." Yeah, sure maybe he doesn't. However, Huyen was right next to me to interpret. On top of that, 99% of people I have ever asked questions to in English that don't speak English just smile and motion that they don't understand. This douche bag literally grunted.

I was obviously really put off by this encounter and wanted to share what happened with one of the guys who had come with us that day. I went up to Nate (Nicky's old roommate who is visiting for a week) and told him my story. He laughed and said that he too had tried to say something to the painter and got a disgusted grunt in return.

There are many adjectives to describe artists. For this particular artist, the only adjective that comes to mind is Asshole. I guess this is to be expected of a guy who opens a museum/palace named after himself.

All that said, there is no doubt that the grounds of the museum were beautiful. However, if you're reading this, save yourself the trip and go to another beautiful spot around Hanoi.