ZBT

(PICTURE: Frat guy in Hanoi!)

Much to my surprise yesterday, I ended up driving behind a Zeta Beta Tau (or as we used to call them at Syracuse - ZBTools). A few of my best friends from college were in the ZBT fraternity so this post gives me a good opportunity to make fun of them a little bit. A few thoughts came to mind when I saw this guy driving down the street:

First thought: So this is where Goodwill shirts go when nobody wants them.

Second thought: This guy is the first Asian ZBT ever.

Third thought: Fraternities don't exist at Vietnamese universities but they should. In fact, Vietnamese men often epitomize the frat lifestyle. I too was in a fraternity but am way less fratty than the average Vietnamese man.

Fourth thought: I wonder which chapter of ZBT made these great t-shirts with Will Ferrell on them.

Fifth thought: I should start an Old School type fraternity here in Vietnam!

Sixth thought: Okay, Ben, time to grow up and stop taking pictures while driving a motorbike (especially two days after posting about wearing helmets!).

A Sign I've Been Living Here Too Long

Notice anything strange in the picture? No, not my weirdly hairy knuckles. There's something else. Look again...

What you should be noticing is that my pinky fingernail is the only fingernail that isn't trimmed. Last night I trimmed all of my fingernails and a few hours later noticed that I had forgotten my pinky nail. This is a very very Vietnamese thing to do. I've written on my blog twice in the past about how gross I find long fingernails on Vietnamese men. Well, apparently I'm turning into one. Granted my fingernail was still about a half inch shorter than the average Vietnamese guys, but the fact that I subconsciously didn't cut it means I've been living here too long.

Buckle Your Helmets!

Dear Vietnamese Readers,

BUCKLE YOUR HELMETS! Yesterday Huyen and I were driving our motorbike and came upon the worst accident I have seen in Vietnam. I'm going to spare the gory details and just say this: the man was laying on one side of the taxi that hit him and his helmet was on the other side. From my limited CSI skills, it appeared that his helmet had flown off upon impact because it wasn't buckled. Frankly, I don't know if he would have survived the accident if he had a helmet on but I have no doubt his chances would have been much higher.

As far as those in the USA and the rest of the world: Buckle your seat belts.

And to everyone: Keep your seat belts and helmets buckled until your car/motorbike is safely parked. I have a lot of friends in the states who always unbuckle their belts when they are a few blocks from home. Why? I have no idea. People do it here with their helmets too though. I've seen so many people undo their helmets when they are nearing their houses. It's just dangerous especially considering that most accidents happen close to home.

Okay, I had to get that off my chest. Huyen and I will be buying new helmets ASAP.

Ben

Master Key

(PICTURE: Me in the tiny locker room.)

Every day when I go to the gym, I'm immediately handed a towel and a key to a locker. Well, the other day I had an epiphany while opening my locker: all the keys look the exact same.

Nobody was in the locker room so I shrugged my shoulders and tried my key on another locker...and it worked. I then tried it on another locker...and it worked on that one too. Yeah, the locker keys are all the exact same. So, as you can imagine, I will no longer be bringing my wallet with me to the gym.

Hygiene

(PICTURE: This is basically what the edges of the lake look like.)

Huyen and I have been on a great exercise kick recently. Yeah, we're in the "wedding diet" mode with only five months to go before we tie the knot. The other night we went to the lake by our house to run some laps. Although it's a nice scene near the lake, the lake itself is absolutely disgusting. The lake not only has an odor but there are always dead fish floating near the edges. Well, as we were stretching, I noticed a woman who had walked up to the water and dipped a washcloth into it. I asked Huyen what she thought the woman was doing and Huyen said that she was probably washing dishes. I'm pretty sure my eyes bugged out at this point as I said, "Are you serious?" Huyen nodded and left it at that. Well, sure enough, at the end of our run we passed the woman who was selling mia da (sugar cane juice). As far as I could tell, the woman had used the wash cloth with something related to the juice she was selling whether it be dish washing, cleaning the juicer or whatever.

And with that, I'm never ever ever having a drink anywhere near the lake again.

Hillary's In Town

Apparently everyone in America knows that Hillary Clinton is in Hanoi because I got sent a whole bunch of emails yesterday with links to online newspaper stories. I knew that Hillary was gonna be here for two reasons: 1) I read it on CNN last week 2) One of my private students told me that his father was going to have a meeting with her on the 23rd -- yeah, his pops is pretty big time (although not as big time as my dad who met Bill Clinton in '92; some would say without my Dad Clinton couldn't have carried New Jersey...those "some" are my dad and, well, now me).

Anyway, here's my brush with Hillary story from yesterday. Since I knew that Hillary was in town, I wasn't surprised that the streets were LINED with police and army dudes yesterday morning. Seemingly ever guy with a green or tan uniform was standing by the side of the road around 7:30 AM. As I was driving, there was all of a sudden a frantic blowing of whistles by all the officials. I recognized this drill immediately since this is the capital and politicians are often heavily escorted across the city. My gut instinct told me that Hillary was about to pass me so I whipped off my sunglasses and pulled down my face mask. I thought I'd look as American as possible and give Hillary a big thumb's up and smile as she flew by me. After a few seconds the first police patrol car sped by me. Then another. And then another...and then another. Next in line was a luxury car with a red, white and blue flag attached to the antenna...

...but it wasn't our red, white and blue flag. It was North Koreas. Yeah, I got all excited and breathed in some extra exhaust just to see the delegates from North Korea. Out of all the politicians who this caravan could have been escorting, this was the one farthest in ideology from Hillary Clinton.

So yeah, sorry to disappoint everyone. Despite being perhaps one of the most popular American bloggers in Hanoi, I didn't get a meeting with Hillary. Although if you asked me, she should have met with me since she gave a speech about Human Rights and internet freedoms.

Book Review: A Good Scent From A Strange Mountain

Yup, back to back book reviews.

If you're looking for something great to read, I highly recommend "A Good Scent From A Strange Mountain" by Robert Olen Butler. This collection of short stories -- which won the 1993 Pulitzer Prize for fiction -- revolves around the theme of Vietnamese Americans living in Louisiana*. To put it simply, the writing is beautiful and the stories are all memorable.

My buddy Jim had given me this book after I asked him if he had anything that was jumping off his shelf. Once I opened the book I couldn't put it down. In fact, after reading the first three short stories I sent Jim a text message that said, "These stories are beautiful. I'm gonna try to read this book slowly so I can really enjoy it." Well, I tried to read it slowly but I finished it in four days.

Put this one on your summer reading list! If you don't believe me, here's a link to the NY Times Book Review about the boook.

* All the stories revolve around Vietnamese Americans except the last two, which I felt were great stories but seemed out of place and didn't go with the work as a whole. Jim later told me that the last two stories ("Salem" and "Missing") were added in later publications.