Underwear

One thing I always get a kick out of is when a student (or me) says the word "underwear." Inevitably this compound word always gets a round of laughs by ever single Vietnamese adult in the room. This word, more than any other, never fails to bring out Vietnamese immaturity. I once even had a student ask me, when playing a vocabulary game about clothing, whether she could say the word "underwear." She whispered the word like it was a curse word. Now keep this in mind when reading the next paragraph....

Many Vietnamese boys often wear boxer shorts out in public. They wear them to the gym, walking around the neighborhood and when they play soccer; even one of my private students often wears just boxers and a t-shirt when I teach him. At first I thought this was, well, odd. However, after being in Asia for some time I realized that this was just something that was lost in translation. Boxer shorts are labeled "boxer SHORTS". Men here think they are actually shorts (presumably that boxer's wear). This is an easy misunderstanding especially since most Vietnamese men only wear tighty whities or banana hammock undies. To them, boxer shorts are athletic shorts. To test my theory, I asked a few people recently about why they were wearing boxer shorts. The answer -- confirming my theory -- was that they were shorts. Well, imagine the look on their face when I told them that they were really wearing underwear in public! Yeah, there were gasps...

Dream Boy

I asked my all-girl lower level class to write an essay about their "Dream Boy." All the girls described what their dream boy looked and acted like. Every girl had a different essay except one thing in common -- all girls said their "dream boy" was a businessman.

This was just so -- what's the word -- Vietnamese. I'm sure many American girls hope that they marry a successful businessman but when it comes to a "dream boy" don't most girl want like an artist or a musician or, well, something exciting? I have nothing against businessmen (okay, that's not totally true -- google global recession) but they just seem so unimaginative.

And yes, I'm fully aware that recently I opened my own business which makes me very likeable to Vietnamese women yet very boring to myself.

Field Trip!!!

(PICTURE: Many of my fellow field trippers...)

Usually on Fridays I ask my students what they are going to do on the weekend (it's good practice for them to talk in the future tense). Well, one Friday my student Ngoc told me she was going to go on a field trip with her class from the National Economic University. I told her it sounded like fun and before I knew it I was invited to come along. Luckily I wasn't the only field-trip-crasher as my student Van (Banking Academy) came along too.

I met Ngoc and Van at 5:45 AM to start the field trip. We rendezvoused at Ngoc's university where we boarded an old rickety bus with about fifty students. Where we went, well, I'm still not sure. There was supposed to be a big waterfall but apparently it's the dry season so there was no water. However, the lack of waterfall didn't stop us from having a fun day. We hiked around the big national park and had a nice picnic. There was a lot of beautiful scenery and plenty of chances for pictures...

(PICTURE: Ngoc, three friends, Van and me at a National Park.)

Someons is trying to kill me (Part II)...

Last weekend I went to dinner with my friend Tu. I didn't know where the street restaurant was so I followed him on my motorbike. For the first fifteen minutes Tu drove calmly and relatively within the law. However, at some point the Vietnamese male gene took over and he turned to me and said, "Follow me!" and began to drive like a maniac. First he ran a red light, then he drove in the opposite lane and then he cut in front of a bunch of cars. As I watched him speed away -- and attempted to keep up in the safest way possible, Mom -- I kept thinking: "Is he trying to kill me?"

When I finally caught up to Tu I said to hi, "Dude! You're driving like a crazy person." He turned to me and said, "It's okay, I took a motorbike safety course once." Well, he said something like that -- it was hard to tell as he sped off and cut across the road.

I've always taken great pride in being a good "Follow me" car leader back in the states. If someone is following me I always drive extra cautiously -- I slow down at yellows, I put my blinker on way in advance, etc. Here, well, I guess they don't get that lesson in driver's ed*.

Chalk this up in the "Things I'll never get used to in Vietnam" category.

* No they don't have driver's ed in Vietnam.

Never Ever Give Up & Never Say Die

In the photocopy shop I go to (see yesterday's post) are two indentical posters:

Every time I see these posters I chuckle to myself. For one, I think it's a clever poster. However, what is funnier is the randomness of why these are up in a photocopy shop as the only decoration.

As I often write on here, I've read a lot of books about the Vietnam War. This poster sort of sums up the Vietnamese mentality as they fought America. We were battling against people who would never have given up would never say die...as I imagine Americans would if a foreign country ever invaded our home land.

Photocopy Shops

(PICTURE: My photocopy shop and the maestro kid working the copier.)

All over Hanoi are photocopy shops. Unlike Kinkos in America, these places are mom and pop operations. Basically people buy a photocopy machine (or two) and copy whatever you want them to copy.

I've been going to this one photocopy place for weeks now to copy resources for my school. The kid who copies my stuff is a maestro with the machine; he performs on it like it's a grand piano. I never though that one could have a skill in copying but this kid has proven me wrong. He shrinks or enlarges texts, does double siding, make faint print easier to see... You name it he can do it.

One problem I have with the photocopy place though is that they charge the same amount to do a double sided print versus a one-sided print. There's really no incentive to try and save paper. I'm putting this down on my list of things to complain to the Vietnamese EPA about.

Opening a coconut

(PICTURE: After twenty minute of hacking...)

Have you ever tried to open a coconut? If not, give it a shot. I think this is a new work-out craze waiting to happen. This past weekend, using a machete, I opened my first coconut. It took me about twenty minutes to crack the coconut open and my forearm is still throbbing. I probably could have opened the coconut much quicker but I didn't want to lose the milk inside. To do it right you've got to slice bits off from the top until you get down to the center section of the coconut. When you finally crack the coconut it lets out a small "BOOM" sound as it releases pressure.

Having done this, I've developed a whole new appreciation for Tom Hank's character in Castaway.
(PICTURE: My teacher...)