Big Goofy White Guy

There are countless times that I feel like a big goofy white guy in Hanoi. There are low ceilings here that make me feel like giant, small motorbikes that I imagine appear as if I'm a cowboy riding a pony and packed sidewalks that often have me doing contortions to maneuver around.

The other day took the cake for my goofiness though. After eating lunch at a local outdoor rice shop, I inadvertently stepped into an alley way of wet cement right next to the shop. I only took two steps before I realized that the ground below me was complete mush. It seemed that every person in the shop turned and looked at me during my moment of realization and started to shake their head at the same time. I backtracked onto the solid surface and began to apologize in Vietnamese. To whom I was supposed to apologize I wasn't sure. Finally a woman selling gum on the street began to frantically wave at me to get away. I think she was trying to save me from the construction workers who would not be happy that my size 10.5 sneaker imprints were cast into their new alley.

In my goofy defense, there was no rope blocking off the alley!

My New Ride

Check her out. Ain't she sweet? That's my new bad ass ride. Okay, I know what you're thinking and yes, she is a bicycle.

One of my favorite things about living in Hanoi has always been riding around on a motorbike. However, in Japan I started to ride everywhere on a bicycle and really enjoyed it. Since Huyen has a motorbike I thought that the sensible thing to do was to get a bicycle and to share her motorbike.

Now a few people might be saying, "Ben, didn't you say that you think the most dangerous form of transportation in Hanoi was a bicycle?" Well, yes, I did say that countless times last year. However, after riding around for a couple of weeks I'm going to retract that statement. The fact is that all forms of transportation in Hanoi are dangerous. The one safer thing about a bicycle is that I'm now much taller than motorbikes. I can see over the traffic and people can see me. Now the problem with the bicycle is that it is silent. Most people in Vietnam drive with their ears and not with their eyes. In fact, many people don't have side view mirrors so they only know that someone is approaching when the person behind them honks. I've been doing A LOT of bell ringing with my bike. Oh, yeah, one other disadvantage: I've been sweating a lot on the bicycle...and it is winter now.

20 Months!

Yup, it's another monthly anniversary for Huyen and me. I thought instead of the usual cheesy video I would do something equally cheesy but perhaps hilarious -- I just did a google search for, "20 funny questions about your significant other" and clicked on the first link. Oddly the link only had fifteen questions but here they are:

1. Do you remember what your spouse was wearing the last time you saw them? (Whether it was before one or the both of you dashed off to work, left for a business trip, or left to run errands.) What color shirt, sweater or blouse did they have on? Or, for the truly astute, which shoes were they wearing?

ANSWER: Blue jeans, black jacket, blue helmet, white sneakers, checkered mask.

2. What's your spouse's favorite kind of movie?

ANSWER: Comedy movies and movies that have people dancing. Her least favorite movie genre is horror movies.

3. What were your spouse's favorite TV shows to watch growing up?

ANSWER: None. She had no TV. Actually, I know she had no toilet but she actually might have had a TV. I've got to research this one.

4. What kind of deodorant scents does your spouse NOT like?

ANSWER: No idea. Deodorant isn't used as much here as in the states since Vietnamese don't really sweat/smell like westerners.

5. Has your spouse ever voted?

ANSWER: No chance. There are no elections here except for maybe grade school student council. Actually, I've got to ask if they have that here.

5a. Do you know who they voted for in the last election they participated in? (Be it a local one, one of the recent presidential primaries, or the last presidential election.)

ANSWER: N/A. Her first election though might be for an American Idol when she comes to the states.

6. Do you know if your spouse has a blog anywhere on the Internet?

ANSWER: Some might say that ahoyhanoi is really her blog since, well, what man writes monthly anniversaries.

6a. If they do have a blog, what was the last thing they wrote about?

ANSWER: N/A but she has commented on my blog quite a few times.

7. What is your spouse's favorite candy?

ANSWER: Huyen prefers fruit.

8. Which type of chocolate do they prefer? (Milk, white, dark.)

ANSWER: Whichever I happen to be eating and she can steal.

8a. If they like chocolate, do they have a favorite chocolatier?

ANSWER: Not that I know of but reading that question makes me want to show her Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory.

9. When was the last time you watched a sunset together?

ANSWER: In Myanmar this past summer.

10. When was the last time you caught a sunrise together?

ANSWER: On the train to Hue for her sister's wedding...although I think Huyen might have been sleeping which probably doesn't count. Otherwise I can't think of any which is strange since we're always up before sunrise. Sadly in Hanoi you can't really see the sun.

11. When was the last time you used your spouse's nickname?

ANSWER: I have a hard enough time pronouncing her real name let alone learning a nickname!

12. When was the last time you paid your spouse a compliment? What was it?

ANSWER: Every day I compliment her that she has great taste in men.

13. Do you remember the last time your spouse cried and what made him or her cry?

ANSWER: Yes. You can read the funeral blogs from a few weeks ago.

14. Do you remember the last laugh you had together and what caused it?

ANSWER: I've never laughed with anyone as much as I laugh with Huyen. This morning we laughed about the card game we played last night. I had a come from behind victory in Gin Rummy 500.

15. Do you know if your spouse has ever had a professional massage? Do you know if they even want one?

ANSWER: We have had quite a few massages together in Hanoi. She had never had one before but now loves them.

Okay, that wasn't too bad.

Happy 20 Month Anniversary, Huyen!

Wedding Season

(PICTURE: Huyen with her friend Ha and her now husband.)

In America the prime wedding season seems to be during Spring, but here it is definitely in Winter. The Vietnamese love to get married right before Tet. It seems that Huyen has a wedding to go to every other day and sometimes twice in a day. I'm always really interested to hear about couples getting married because often they've only been dating for less than a year. Huyen actually went to a wedding recently where a couple had only been dating for a month! This might sound crazy but...well, it is crazy to me still. However, Huyen once told me that Vietnamese people believe you should get married fast so that the greatest part of your love is after you're married. I guess that sort of makes sense. As an American with our high divorce rate, I think it would be foolish to pass judgment on another country's wedding customs.

This past Sunday and Monday I went to two weddings with Huyen. One wedding was for her childhood friend Linh and the other was for her friend Ha. Here's me looking like a giant with both brides:

(PICTURE: Linh and me.)

(PICTURE: Ha and me.)

Tiger Beer

I'd like to use today's blog to address a common misconception among many tourists to Vietnam: Tiger beer is NOT a Vietnamese beer. Tiger beer is a product of Singapore.

Countless times over the last couple of years I've had to correct people when they've told me, "Tiger beer is my favorite Vietnamese beer." I believe that this is an easy misconception since Tiger beer can be found all over Vietnam. However, Heineken can be found all over Vietnam too and nobody mistakes that as Vietnamese.

Now I'm not knocking Tiger beer. I'm merely saying that when you visit Vietnam you should try some Vietnamese beer like Hanoi Beer or Halida or 333 or Saigon Red/Green or Huda. Now that said, I'm also pretty confident most of these beer companies are all owned by some parent company in Europe since I think now that all the major American beer companies (Bud, Miller, Coors) are European owned.

Long's Surprise Birthday/Going Away Party

(PICTURE: Huyen and Long at the party.)

Last week I wrote about my friend Long leaving Hanoi. On the night before he left, his girlfriend Vicky planned a surprise party for him since his 30th birthday was just a few days away.

All of Long's friends gathered in a seventh floor karaoke room about an hour before Long and Vicky showed up. People blew up balloons and tried on random wigs that were brought to the party.


(PICTURE: Me wearing a Beatles-esque wig. I'm only putting this picture on the blog for comments from my mom about when I dressed up as Miss USA in elementary school.)

When Long and Vicky came to the karaoke place some of the workers asked them if they wanted to go to the room with all the foreigners. Vicky, quick on her toes, said no and somehow this didn't tip off Long that a surprise was coming. Vicky and Long were then placed into another karaoke room while the rest of us continued to wait upstairs. Finally we gave a note to a worker who went to the other karaoke room and handed it to Vicky. The note said that the room they were in was already reserved and they would need to move upstairs to another room. The funny part about this whole interaction is that Long speaks Vietnamese and Vicky doesn't. Long could have asked a few questions but instead let Vicky do all the talking. It all worked out though because Long was definitely surprised when he walked into the room.

I got it all on video but unfortunately someone (cough cough Nicky) forgot to flick on the lights!! You can hear myself and one or two other people yelling at him during all the commotion. Anyway, it was a great night and by far the most fun I've had doing karaoke in Vietnam...and I didn't even sing until a group rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody to close out the night.

To top the night off and to send Long back to Australia in style, Long agreed to have his cake smashed in his face. Yup, it's on video here too.

Hong

(PICTURE: Hong fruit.)

As I'm sure my mother will comment on, as a youngster I loved climbing trees. In the backyard of my first house on Longacre Drive, we had two evergreen trees. I'm pretty sure I climbed each tree about 1,000 times. In fact, I think me climbing those trees may be one reason my mother went a tad gray (before her hair naturally turned back to brown).

The morning after my day of horrific stomach pain, Huyen's dad force-fed me hong fruit. We don't have this fruit in America so I'm not sure what the English name for it is.
I like hong fruit but I was a tad skeptical when Hong, Huyen's father, encouraged me to eat it. A week or two earlier Huyen and I ate this fruit in Hanoi and Huyen told me that it was a good source of fiber. I'm no doctor but loading up on fiber when one has horrific dirrhea just doesn't seem like a good idea. However, Hong encouraged me to eat four hong. Well, they did the trick. After eating the fruit I felt a lot better...although it might also have been because I ate four bowls of plain rice and took anti-diarrhea medicine too.

(PICTURE: Hong collecting hong.)

Later that afternoon, Huyen's parents suggested that we go to her old house and pick hong fruit from their garden. As Huyen and I started to leave, her father said he was coming along. Now, I love my father and think he's an amazing man but there's no way he could do what Huyen's father did on this day. Huyen's dad scampered up the hong trees and collected a huge bag worth of hong. Hong (again Huyen's Dad, not the fruit) is 57 years old and easily climbed these trees way better than I ever could climb when I was in my climbing prime...roughly eight years old.

(PICTURE: That's me climbing about fifteen feet lower than Huyen's dad.)