I Could Be A Rich Man In China

(One of my recovered pictures from my hard drive. I knew that $200 was worth it.)

In Beijing many street vendors sold cockroaches on a stick. Um, delicious.

Well, I need to figure out how to start an export business because I've just struck gold--cockroach gold. Turns out that my house is situated above a cockroach colony. Okay, I'm being dramatic...all of Vietnam is situated above a cockroach colony. Check out this footage.

Two Things

1. I'm sick as a dog again. No, Mom, I don't have Dengue fever. I think my body is just reacting to being around so many teenagers every day who are used to living in a society where picking your nose and flinging it is not considered disgusting. I mean, come on people, this isn't my living room in New Jersey!

2. I just read Steve Song's blog and apparently he's coming back to Hanoi in October for a week or so. Song, you're not getting your camera back (which clearly I'm not using enough of since this is a picture free entry).

Going to bed...

My Vietnamese Mother

The other night as soon as my class ended I got a text message from Huyen: "I am waiting outside of your school. I would like to sleep at your house tonight if that is okay." As mentioned, Vietnamese girls don't sleep at boys' houses. As also mentioned, this was one of the first weeks in Huyen's life that she was sleeping alone at her house and was extremely lonely and sad. So naturally I said what any gentleman would say, "Of course!!!!!!!!!!."

I got my motorbike and pulled up to the front of the school and Huyen was waiting there as promised. We drove side by side back to my house. I opened the front gate and the two of us parked our bikes. I then went back to the gate to lock it when I the door to the front house opened and Ming, the man of the house exited. Ming asked me to read the power meter so I could pay the bill. Sure no problem. A second later, Binh, the woman of the house came rushing out. This is roughly the conversation that took place:
Ben: Hi, Binh.
Binh: I see the girl. Vietnamese girl can not sleep here.
Ben: What?
Binh: No Vietnamese girl can sleep her.
Ben: Why?
Binh: You do not know who girl is. I do not know girl. Many girls rob foreigners. Then they rob us.
Ben: She's my girlfriend (yeah I used that word).
Binh: Girlfriend?
Ben: Yes.
Binh: You do not know her. She might rob you. And we are central. Police see her here and we get in trouble.
Ben: Why would you get in trouble with the police?
Binh: They see license plate on motorbike and we get in trouble?
Ben: What? That doesn't make any sense.
Binh: Girl must go!
Ben: Binh, your daughter is studying abroad in England right now. I'll bet you she sleeps over many boys' houses.

Okay, I didn't say that last line. Instead I told Binh she should meet Huyen and I could even get her a copy of her Vietnamese ID card if it made her more comfortable. Binh muttered something else and then rushed back into her house. Conveniently their kitchen light stayed on until Huyen eventually left. That's right, no sleep over was had. I was c-blocked by my Vietnamese mother.

Keep in mind, Huyen was feet away with our motorbikes. After she was very upset saying, "It makes me sad that people think very badly about Vietnamese girls." This is actually a great social study. We're talking about the old mentality of Binh vs. the new mentality of Huyen who is much more Western thinking. For example she has said to me before, "When a girl marries in Vietnam she is a slave to the man. I don't like this." Granted Huyen and I disagree on that last opinion since obviously women should be slaves to men. But anyway, the old line rings true here: "When In Rome, Do As The Roman Do." No sleepovers are in line for anytime soon....until Binh and Ming go to visit their daughter in England.

Hanoi Weather

Check out today's weather from now till when I have to go to school. Keep in mind, this is basically the same forecast for every day this week...and probably month. According to weather.com there will be scattered t-storms every hour here.

Wed, June 11

Time

Condition

Feels Like

Chance Precip

Dew Point

Humid.

Wind

Morning Commute

Interstate Forecast

9am

Scattered T-Storms 84°F

93°F

50%

76°F

77%

From E 5 mph

10am

Scattered T-Storms 86°F

97°F

50%

77°F

74%

From E 5 mph

11am

Scattered T-Storms 88°F

100°F

50%

77°F

70%

From ESE 5 mph

12pm

Scattered T-Storms 89°F

101°F

50%

77°F

68%

From SE 6 mph

1pm

Scattered T-Storms 90°F

103°F

50%

77°F

65%

From SE 6 mph

2pm

Scattered T-Storms 90°F

103°F

50%

77°F

65%

From SE 6 mph

3pm

Scattered T-Storms 89°F

101°F

50%

77°F

68%

From SE 7 mph

It's Official: Vietnam Has It All

Three days ago I was talking about different foods to Huyen. Huyen, like many Vietnamese people, thinks that Vietnamese food is not only the only healthy food in the world, but also the only good food in the world. For example this is a typical conversation:

Ben: Huyen have you ever had a hamburger?
Huyen: Yes. I don't like. It's very fatty.
Ben: Huyen have you ever had pizza?
Huyen: I don't like. It's fatty.
Ben: Do you want to get Indian food?
Huyen: I don't like.
Ben: Have you ever had it?
Huyen: No but it's unhealthy.

The other day I made Huyen a bet that if she could get an A on a listening section of the midterm test I gave my upper Elementary level teenagers I would buy her sushi (basically I played a tape twice and she had to answer twenty questions about it). However, if she scored a C or lower she would have to buy me sushi. Well, she got a C which means I'm owed sushi. However, Huyen told me that instead of going to the restaurant she would look up the recipe for sushi and, "cook it" for me.

With her love of only eating/knowing Vietnamese food she reminds me of my sister in fourth grade who would only eat hamburgers for breakfast, lunch in dinner. I can only hope that Huyen will one day have the same reaction Hannah had after maxing out on one meal: she'll never want to eat it again. Okay, that's not completely true since I still love Vietnamese food.

Anyway, the point is, we were talking about food and I mentioned bagels. Of course Huyen had never heard of bagels (and had a hard time pronouncing it). Well as soon as I mentioned bagels I couldn't get them out of my mind. I was like Bubba in Forest Gump: "Huyen there are so many types of bagels. There's poppy bagels. Sesame bagels. Raisin bagels. Pumpernickel bagels. Onion bagels. Garlic bages. Everything bagels. Salt bagels. Even chocolate chip bagels!" For the next four eight hours I kept thinking about hot bagels smothered with white fish salad or cream cheese and lox. I kept thinking that if I was home in Jersey I could expect to wake up with a fresh bagel waiting for me on the kitchen table care of Mother August taking an early morning drive for her son to the bagel store.

Well, on Saturday afternoon while I was taking a breather on the ultimate frisbee sidelines, I happened to blurt out: "I would kill for a bagel." The fact that it was on my mind in the middle of a frisbee match shows exactly how obsessed I've been. Luckily my friend Laura who has been in town for a while overheard me and said, "Go to Puku. They have bagels." Turns out there is a New Zealand breakfast spot that is extremely well known with the expats. The next morning I met Laura there for brunch and ate this:














Sure, it's no New Jersey bagel but damn it was good. The bagel itself was sort of just thick bread with a whole in the middle but the cream cheese and the lox were amazing. Oh yeah, see that plate of food in the background? That was my second breakfast. All in all, this was one of my most expensive meals I've eaten in Vietnam (two breakfast plates and a fresh squeezed pineapple juice for exactly $10) but it was well worth it.

Ironically later in the day I told Huyen how I found a bagel and she said: "You found a bagel and didn't take me? You're so selfish!"

SIZE MATTERS

(PICTURE: I was never good at math. How many inches is 8 centimeters?)

Dear Ahoy Hanoi Fans,

"They" say size doesn't matter but we all know -- some of us sadly better than others -- that isn't true. So, in an experiment to see how big my site is I've added a counter today. Please click on my site at least twice as much as usual so I can feel good about myself. Thank you.

Ben

"Come Wash My Apartment"

(PICTURE: Huyen's new apartment. The person taking this photo had his back basically against the far wall...which isn't very far from the front wall)

When people get something new in Vietnam they are supposed to "wash it." No they don't physically put soap and water to the object. It's just an expression which means they must celebrate by buying others food/drinks, etc. So, Huyen moved apartments the other day and invited Ryan and I over to "come wash my apartment."

Let me just say, if you ever want to feel really good about where you live you should spend some time in a locals' apartment. Huyen's apartment is roughly 7 foot by 12 foot. Sure, it's probably just a tad smaller than a $1500 a month place in the village but it's lacking a few amenities like:

a) A mattress. There's a bed frame with just a rock hard "bed" on top of it. Basically it's just wood slots covered by a straw mat.
b) A toilet. There's a hole in the ground in a separate "room" but nothing to sit on. I just don't understand how the Vietnamese get any reading down.
c) A shower. There's a faucet which you use to fill up a bucket and then pour on yourself with a large spoon.
d) Air conditioning. Huyen's place is roughly 112 degrees Fahrenheit.
e) Window screens. Bugs/lizards just fly/crawl in. That said, it does come with a nice mosquito net.
f) A closet.

On the plus side the apartment costs $20 a month. Huyen splits the place with her sister so they each pay $10 a month. That's right, $10 a month. And yes, two people live in this tiny room. That's also the norm here. People always share their beds with friends and family.

Now I know why Huyen keeps coming over my apartment during the day -- she wants to use my bathroom and bask in my air conditioning.